deercountry | you can keep on getting better [open]

Who: Anna Amarande and you!
What: May catchall
When: May
Where: A bar in Cellar Door, other locations to come

Content Warnings: Light alcohol use, conversations about humanity and murder, blood, vampirism

a. if you want, you can buy yourself a drink [at the bar]

[anna's made plans with a couple people to hang out this month. it's not a tense environment at all, and sometimes she can even be seen on the tiny little stage playing some chilled out bass grooves for the patrons. no concrete songs, really, mostly just improv for vibes. when she's not on stage, and most of the time she's not, she's nestled herself down into a booth down near the end. it's quiet, well-lit but not obtrusively so. people around here know her and know that that's basically her seat, so any conversations that happen there are as private as they're gonna get.]

[she's expecting a few people to show up as she nurses a beer that's so weak she might as well not be drinking anything at all. probably for the best that she's sober for these talks, whatever they end up bringing with them.]

Hey. Glad you could make it. [she tilts her drink at her guest.]

b. no you'll never drink like me [for kainé]

[there's always been a few problems with going out and hunting beasts, no matter how confident and comfortable it makes anna feel. no matter how many lives she saves, she's always putting herself at risk of corruption or injury or beasthood or all three, and one of these days it's gonna sneak up on her. all at once, extremely loudly and incredibly close.]

[anyway, when she comes back home this time, it's clear that she's been in better shape. she limps her way into the house, and she's at least cognizant enough to fix her roommate/girlfriend with a sheepish little look as she holds her side. the cloth there isn't dripping yet, but it's clear that it didn't start as red as it is now.]

Motherfucker out there got the best of me. [she's talking like she's not in pain, or like she's trying very hard to pretend she isn't.] I think I stopped most of the bleeding myself. Don't suppose we've got anything here that can help seal it up before I go to the doctor?

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[anna takes a slow drink as she ponders what kind of crazy teacher could be. she doesn't think she knows yet. everything she's learned about him makes him just seem fake; if there is real pain behind his eyes, it seems like it might have been lost over millennia of following his own stupid quest to make the nine houses know him as god. but if there is that real pain, then she may... she may want to give more credence to that first point.]

I can't tell how real he is. That's the problem. I don't know how ruthless he is, or if he really thinks that he can get away with this shit here, or... if he's even trying to get away with shit in the first place. For all I know, this is all just stuff that happened already and he has no interest in doing it again here.

[she holds her beer up off the table; it's more or less empty by now. like she's debating whether she wants another, she tilts her head one way, then the other.]

He told me once that he doesn't see the point in dragging out old ghosts. That when something's dead, it should stay that way. [she lowers the bottle; it thuds audibly against the wood.] I don't believe him for a fucking second.

[She considered that for a moment. Yeah, that all made sense. basically what it translated to in her head, though, was a simple conundrum. It was a thing that she couldn't possibly say without knowing him intimately in a way that she absolutely did not know him.]

We can only know if he's lying if we know if his sleeping ghost is here.
You can know I'm not because Ruby's here, and I'm not trying to kill her anymore.
So the question is. What's his old ghost?

[she thinks back to the conversation she'd had with teacher. how she'd been so quick to offer to keep her mouth shut, to stop reminding him of the world he left behind. (the world he destroyed? euthanized?) and she inhales, and struggles with confronting the truth here. but as her thoughts move the pieces together into the configuration that makes the most sense to her.]

I think it might be me. [she lets out the rest of that breath.] Or, like. What I represent. A world that he left behind, or a world that just... doesn't exist anymore. I don't know what he wants to do with that. With me. If he wants to do anything with it at all.

[...]

Have you thought about talking with him about this?
on the one hand it's really dangerous considering that you're considering putting him out of everyone's misery.
On the other, there's a possibility he might talk about it to let that ghost lie.

What are you thinking might be your next step?

[She definitely had a concerned face talking about all of this. She didn't want Anna getting in over her head. Ironic, that both of their concerns there were nearly identical for the other.]

I still don't know what I'm gonna do next.

[she hates that she keeps having to admit that, but she doesn't know what she expected.]

I don't exactly know how to go up to this guy and be like "hey, I'm worried I represent a world that doesn't exist anymore and you're gonna go mad with grief and nuke this place because of it" or something. I think I'm just... I'm gonna try to talk to people who are close to him. I know he has a few, and I know that not all of them are all the way up his ass, you know?

If I'm careful about what I say, then I think I can get a good idea of where everyone's at. And that might help me make some hard choices later.

[Hmmmm... ok, yeah. Yeah, that sounded like a sensible idea. Neopolitan nodded vigorously at that.]

If he actually has people from his world?
Yeah, if you can find someone like that who knows him more closely than you do right now?
You can definitely try and feel out what they know.

You're not flying blind then.

Nope. Just half-blind, like always.

[she can make jokes. it's totally normal. but it also really helps to get the opinion of someone she trusts on this, and doubly so that it feels like NP is actually signing off on it.]

It's gonna be fucking weird. Like navigating a minefield. But I think I can pull it off. Just gotta be good at pivoting if shit starts going really bad, but, like. How bad could it really get, anyway?

[she has no idea.]

[She considered for a minute and frowned before shrugging. It could go really really bad, and she knew it.]

You'll let me know how this goes, won't you?
Like I said, I'm here for you in this, Anna.

Always.

[she puts her hand on the back of NP's and fixes her with a smile.]

You're on my short list of people to reach out to if I know I'm about to get my ass handed to me.

Hey, it's always good to know that I have that spot.
Even if that means I get sucked into all kinds of impossible fights at times, heh.
Not that I'd ever want it any other way.

[She gave her a nod right back and winked. Life was too boring if you didn't take risks like making friends with people who might end up fighting the apocalypse.]

you can keep on getting better [open]

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