is this how it is? how it's always been?

[shiro2hero]

Who: Shiro & Open
What: May Catch-All
When: All throughout the month
Where: Mouse House, The Beach, Willful Machine

Content Warnings: Grief, isolation, corruption symptoms, mild monstrous body horror


GRIEF | physical / emotional corruption signs

MOUSE HOUSE
A lot has happened. None of it has been particularly good. Like the blows keep coming and coming, while you're trying to dodge and weave around them all. And failing. Picking yourself up is almost impossible. But... he has to. Shiro has to. There are still people here who depend on him. There are still people here who need someone.

So he picks himself up. Every single day. He makes his rounds through the house, ostensibly checking on the occupants - What do you need? Can I do anything? How are you? But, privately, to make sure they're all still there. He is fine, because he has to be. Because the only person he can fall apart around is hurting just as badly. Or worse.

And if he wakes up to the multitude of scars crossing his body turning a darker shade, then... well. It's just the month. Just the Trench weirdness.

Anyone living or visiting the house is subject to the same questions - the same constant checking. Though his voice is tighter, the lines under his eyes heavier.

Are you okay? he'll ask.

He's fine.

 

THE BEACH
His scars have blackened. Like marks of fire across his skin. He's been sitting on the shoreline so long, honestly, he hasn't noticed. I just need some air - he'd said. Just needed to step out. Step away from being ... he doesn't even know anymore. Wanting to be of service, wanting to make a difference and not being able to do a damned thing. The need to help, the need to do some good somewhere in this place has been driving him through the losses.

But what real difference has any of it made?

The guilt swirls in and out like the surf. Maybe he'd gotten too complacent. Maybe he'd done something wrong. Maybe if they'd acted faster on their plans against a certain familiar face here - a certain "Mother Mercy", then...

Maybes. What if's. Guilt. His shoulders ache, his scars itch.

Communicate, he'd been advised. Advised and bottled up. Put away on a shelf for a day when Shiro didn't have to shoulder the world. When he feels like two more names need to be added to the list of people he couldn't save.

But there's still people congregating on the boardwalk. There's still the plethora of spring food and celebration going on. Maybe he should go up there and grab some?

Maybe he needs some convincing - or, at least, someone to drag him off the sand.

MONSTERS | TDM Mirror Prompt

WILLFUL MACHINE | BEFORE
Those bottled up emotions feel as if they're drowning him. So he stalks through the city, now. On a mission he'd promised someone else he'd take up. One more thing to try and mitigate the loss. To try and make useless blood and we don't need you anymore into something worthwhile. Try to hunt a monster. A man on a mission.

Despite the fact he's still wearing his right arm tied to his chest in an immobilizing sling, but oh well. At least he's wearing his armor this time, black and white armor that probably stands out in the Trench streets. There's no other outlet for these feelings. Talking it out only puts the burden on other people, especially those that are also hurting.

So - he's out looking for the weird tentacle thing Min-Gi had told him about. He's not sure if he'll find it. But hey - he won't turn down backup, thankfully. Catch him about anywhere in this area, patrolling.

... You may have to be quick, because while Shiro won't turn down help, he has a tendency to duck his head away from familiar faces.

 

ANYWHERE IN TRENCH | AFTER {cw: mild monstrous body horror}
Just some window shopping. Maybe bring something back home - brighten up his partner's day. Something like that.

Except... reflective glass. Reflections. The first time Shiro passes one, it's normal. He just looks as exhausted and scarred and weary as always. So he sighs, shakes his head. And keeps walking. Maybe he should just go home -

No sooner does he think that, then, abruptly, he sees another shape in the glass. It may have been himself, once. But now it's grown. It's turned from human to some awful monstrosity. Some sort of huge, hulking brute, its right arm a twisted mockery of metal and wire. The scar across its face mirrors his own, but deeper, more ragged, like something had attempted to cut its entire head in half. It stares at him, its eyes cold, glazed yellow.

Winks.

And suddenly, it is shambling down the streets. All the locked up, boiling restlessness in Shiro's chest itching to be released.

And no sooner does it find someone than it decides it would like to brawl. Right there in the street. With the real Shiro trapped along for the ride, locked in its head.

Perfect.

 

((ooc: if you want anything specific let me know !! Or throw your own starter in and I'll roll with it. I'll match format, too! Action or Prose.)

Comments

The Beach

[onekindsoul]

Back in Remnant Ruby had dedicated her life to the service and protection of others. As a Huntress it was expected that she would freely give up her life to ensure someone else wouldn't lose theirs. Back at home she had accepted that and was more than happy to do so if need be. But she had struggled since arriving in Deerington and now Trench with just what exactly that meant and the effect it had on herself and the people close to her.

She still hadn't quite figured it out but she was working her way there day by day.

So when she runs into Shiro at the shoreline she does sort of recognize the look in his eyes as something she's had to struggle with in the past and present and probably into the future too. She moves to stand at his side and gives him a little nudge with her shoulder.

"Nice night, huh? Kind of a shame to spend it alone down here."

[shiro2hero]

He twitches a bit, at Ruby's arrival. Being so wrapped up in his own head, he hadn't even noticed her approaching. But as soon as his brain catches up, he relaxes, even attempting to shoot her a weary smile. All the talk of losing Deerington Sleepers, all the actual losses - it's good to see a fellow veteran of the Dream. Very good.

"Hey."

But how many more chances will he get to say hello to her? To anyone here? Would it have been better to keep to himself from the start...? To not get close and lose -

"I just needed some air. Been king of a rough time at the house." He pauses, and Ruby might know what's coming next - "You doing okay?"

MOUSE HOUSE

[chickenchoicejudy]

Ryan is lounging in the living room on the couch, plucking away at his unplugged guitar. Normally he would be curled up in one corner, but today his legs are straight out in front of him so that he doesn't poke holes in the cushions by pressing his new bird talons into them. Thankfully he still has his hands.

The entire transformation into a half bird person was horrific and painful, and anyone who was home at the time would have heard the agonized screams. Shiro had helped, Ryan kind of remembers that. He got the honey, and shortly after that Ryan had passed out.

So it makes sense that Shiro would be checking up on him now. His brown wings are healed though, and most of his feathers have come in - around the edges of his face, along his arms and sides, in tufts replacing his ears. The bird legs still suck though and he's been dressing to hide them, cutting wing holes in anything that might kind of work, even if it's too big on him. It even makes sense that he would check in more than once, because Ryan is notorious for not telling people when something is wrong. This time though, he's legitimately fine.

Shiro, however, is not fine. Something heavy is weighing on him, but also? He looks absolutely terrible. His scars have darkened somehow, and after seeing the literal cracks on Min-Gi also month...Ryan has his suspicions.

"Uh. I'm...good," he says, slowly lowering his guitar. "Still good. But what about you, dude? Are you okay?"

Because he sure as hell doesn't look okay. It's been kind of obvious recently, and it's time to try and turn it around on Shiro.

[shiro2hero]

Yeah, that whole thing was an incident Shiro's definitely not keen to repeat. Not now, not any time soon. Once again, he's grateful for the gift from Sodder - the jar that keeps coming in clutch for all of them. The fact it keeps working is something he'll never not be thankful for. He hopes she knows. Wherever she is now.

She's there because you couldn't save her, either. Like Eddie. Like Varian. Like Fern. You're powerless, you're weak, you've failed them -

"Huh?"

Shiro has to blink a few times. Right - he's in the house. Ryan was talking to him. Ryan, who he's concerned about over the fact he sprouted wings and chicken legs and - all of that.

And how long before he goes back to the sea, too? Before you can't do anything to stop it? Before you let him down?

"Yeah, I - didn't sleep well." So what else is new. It's not a lie, either. He's tried, but sleep just doesn't come easily right now. "Nothing new, huh?"

[chickenchoicejudy]

It's difficult to balance his powers in conversations like this sometimes. It isn't so much that Shiro can't lie to him (and he didn't really, Ryan knows by now he doesn't sleep that great) and Ryan can't hear specific thoughts, but it's like a thick fog hanging over Shiro.

But, bringing it up feels kind of weird? If he wanted to talk about it he would and it's kind of rude to just blurt out that you can feel something's wrong. There's a little bit of concern rolling off of him, but he just twists so he can sit with both bird feet on the floor.

"Room on the couch for two, dude."

He's getting pretty good at using his wings independently of his other limbs - he points at the free space with one of them, as though Shiro's missed it somehow and needs a feathery arrow pointing at it.

"But nah, nothing new. I think the bird-ification is over," he says. "This is probably just like, my life the rest of the month."

[shiro2hero]

"Nah, I - I'll nap later."

If he can. He's not sure if he'd be able to do more than sit there, staring into space. Thinking too much, and trying to bury it all. He hasn't been, lately. Up until now, he'd been able to let things come up, let himself be upset, or sad, or frustrated. But since finding out - hearing - since -

Well. He's lost his balance. There, that's easier to think. He doesn't want to let those thoughts free where they can encroach on someone else's pain. Adam is hurting just as much as he is. And all Shiro wants to do is fix it.

So he doesn't sit. Not right now. Though he does lean a hip on the arm of the couch, still concerned. "Glad to hear it. Really. I... was worried it was going to go further than that," he admits. "We don't have space for an aviary."

[chickenchoicejudy]

Leaning against the arm of the couch is still better than not taking a seat at all. Maybe he just needs to work his way up to it. Ryan doesn't move to hog the couch again, incase Shiro changes his mind.

He shrugs, nonchalantly.

"Guess I would've had to sleep on the roof like a real bird."

Maybe he would've made a whole nest up there for his giant bird monster self or a huge blanket fort or something sweet like that.

Wait. He's getting off track here.

"But yeah, it doesn't even hurt or anything anymore," he says. "And Min was a lot cooler with it than I thought he'd be? Not that I thought he would've been a jerk but, y'know. ...Bird legs are a lot."

beach

[entreats]

Honestly, Ange didn't even know Shiro was out here. It's total coincidence that she comes across him - because she's mostly been practicing her magic, trying to see whether or not it's still working this month, despite it being.. off, somehow.

Mostly in the kind of insects it summons forth. Ange is so used to her magic appearing in bursts of golden butterflies that it's a little concerning when it's all sorts of insects except for butterflies this month. Which means that when she's practicing her teleporting magic, it's a cloud of magical golden fruit flies that head in Shiro's direction, only transforming back into Ange's usual shape when she's right next to them, clicking her tongue in annoyance at the weird shapes her magic is taking on this month.

Her thoughts only linger on that for a moment though when she looks at Shiro instead. The reason she stopped, letting her transform back into herself rather than further practicing moving around with her magic like that. Because she can tell something is off about him. Something beyond just a regular 'off'. There's just enough physical signs on him that Ange can tell it's either something that this month is causing or corruption that's coming over him right now, and she doesn't very much like the thought of either.

Which means Ange has to resort to something very un-Ange-like.

In this case, that is reaching out to grab a hold of the sitting man's arm, starting to tug on it as if she's trying to drag him back up to his feet.. despite the fact that Ange has so little physical strength in her noodle arms.

"Okay, Shiro. I need your help."

Said 'help' being something she's making up on the spot here. But with what Ange knows about the other, she figures that he's much more likely to move for what he perceives to be another person's sake than for his own.

[shiro2hero]

"What?"

That is about all he can manage before Ange starts yanking on his arm. It's absolutely unlike her. And therefore more alarming. As if the bugs weren't startling enough. He could have been sure they were butterflies the last time she'd shown off her powers. Had something happened? Is she all right?

Is that what she means by needing help?

While his brain starts working through all of that, his feet are moving. Without checking in with the rest of him, they're pushing him upright - obediently following along with Ange's pull. He may be big, built like a brick wall, but he's also very used to being steered around.

"What's wrong? Are you okay?"

[entreats]

There's a part of Ange that feels a little bit guilty in the face of this. It almost feels like she's manipulating him here, after all, even if it's for his own good. And even aside from that, she's definitely worrying him here over nothing, which also doesn't feel too great.

But what's the alternative? Leaving Shiro to sit here by himself, staring into the ocean while looking all depressed? That won't do either.

"It's about the food here." She lets go of him now he's standing up, instead using her free hands to gesture in the direction of where the locals put all of the food. "Have you tried any of it?"

[shiro2hero]

"The food?"

With the way she was tugging, he'd assumed there was some dire emergency. But food? Unless there's something wrong with the food... which wouldn't really be surprising, at this point. Maybe not an emergency, though.

It's still not enough to make him dig his heels in to stop, though.

"No, I - No I haven't." Despite the fact his blood is practically begging him to, this month. It's weird, not really wanting to eat anything, while your body insists on inhaling anything in sight.

[entreats]

"I'm worried about it."

Ange knows that she's teetering on the edge of being believable here, since Ange definitely does not usually announce that she's worried - even though she's actually worried all the time. But she keeps that feeling deep down, where it belongs.

But this is the best thing she can do here, because she's not lying. Sure, it's not something she necessarily needs Shiro for, but if dragging him into this will distract him? She's going to do it.

Maybe she can just chalk up her honesty right now on the fact that she trusts Shiro - which is also just true.

"Remember the times people just put food out for us back in Deerington? I watched it turn people into geese one time."

willful machine • after

[hopesparks]

Duck. The Force warns him out of nowhere, but he's primed to obey it. Anakin dodges and turns to face his assailant only to see Shiro or, rather, a distorted version of Shiro. It doesn't take a genius to realize that something is very, very wrong here.

"Bad day, Shiro?" Anakin speaks warily, mostly trying to keep "Shiro's" attention on him. He doesn't know the extent of Shiro's abilities-- either natural or blood-related-- but Anakin knows he can take a beating better than the civilians wandering around, if it comes to that.

this is fine

[shiro2hero]

In his head, he is so, so grateful for the Force in that moment. That the heavy slam of his metal fist, grossly oversized now, doesn't impact a person. Just a chunk of the street. Fully against his will, his body whirls on Anakin.

Run, he wants to scream. Just go!

But it doesn't come out. Nothing comes out but a snarl of anger. And his body lunges forward. Grasping for Anakin, and fully intending to slam him against the ground if possible.

what's a little violence between friends

[hopesparks]

Anakin dodges but doesn't run. Instead, he jumps back a few feet to a more open area. He sees a path to a more secluded area, so he's going to have to figure out a way to lure Shiro there.

Considering whatever is (literally?) possessing him seems interested in nothing more than a fight so far, it shouldn't be hard.

"I don't know what happened, Shiro, but we'll figure it out."

thanks he hates it

[shiro2hero]

This is super fine. So fine that Shiro hates it. At least, so far, Anakin isn't hurt. Shiro desperately, deeply wants to keep it that way, but has no idea how long it will last. Especially as his body starts charging after Anakin. Intent on smashing.

Will they figure it out? He has his doubts, honestly. He can't even speak, just... charge.

Following the bait.

[hopesparks]

Anakin stays close enough that not-Shiro doesn't lose interest. He dodges swipes and rolls away from blows until they've gotten to an abandoned stretch of the canal.

He has no idea what's going on or what to do, but he'll have to rely on his powers of observation and hope he won't have to use his Force abilities.

Quietly to himself: "Come on, there's got to be something."

Monsters - After

[spiritwalks]

"Oh. Hello, there."

Vyng locks eyes with the massive figure shambling toward him.

"Nice, uh. Nice day out, eh?"

[shiro2hero]

Vyng, when he said he wanted to be there for you as much as possible, this was not what he wanted.

Unfortunately for the both of them, Shiro doesn't get a say in this. Shiro can only sit in the back of his head and yell out warnings that don't come. Nothing comes out but a low, angry noise he didn't think he was capable of making. That's the only warning Vyng gets before Shiro's body just lunges.

It winds the grossly oversized arm back, intending to smash into Vyng right then and there.

[spiritwalks]

"Woah-ho-ho-okayyyy."

At least by winding his arm, it's telegraphing its attack. Vyng takes several nimble steps backward. And with a swipe of his own arm, a gust of wind knocks an unattended cart directly into the creature's path.

For a moment, he considers reaching for his spear. But there's traces of something familiar here, aren't there? His eyes rake across the hulking form in front of him. Maybe there's some other identifying features...

[shiro2hero]

That poor cart. What did it ever do to deserve this? Rip to the cart owner, and all his produce, because the wood and vegetables just explode in a shower of splinters and greenery. Some of them even turn to embers in the air, sparked by the sudden swirl of purple light from the tips of the metal arm's fingers.

That... may be an identifier.

Or the scar made deeper, darker, bloodier across the figure's face. Every feature turned uglier, more hideous by the mirror. The thing Shiro believes he sees in his nightmares.

Mirror + After

[tempredmental]

[Shiro's reflection wasn't the only one looking for a fight. The lingering shadow of an angry teenager had recently come into possession of his adult body, and he was itching to take on anything that crossed his temper.

Seeing Shiro jacked up as they made eye contact across the boardwalk was definitely a sharp enough trigger. In his head, Keith panicked. Wait! Don't do it! But that rebellious side was in control and pissed that there was A Thing inhabiting his mentor's body... his brother's body... and he was going to pummel it out...

It didn't take much for the Champion and the hot-headed bad boy to get going. "Keith" clenched his teeth, corruption-induced fangs bared, and charged in for the attack.]

[shiro2hero]

[As far as the reflection is concerned? This is perfect. It's an outlet. It's exactly what it wants. It doesn't care who it is, what it is. It's going to take it out on the nearest person. Vent all the pent up, boiling emotions.]

[So when Not!Keith charges, the reflection swings its grotesque, twisted metal arm. Aiming to meet those fangs with its fist. Eager to lash out. Eager for the fight.]

[Shiro, though? Shiro is dying inside.]

[tempredmental]

[Keith wasn't doing much better... trying to get their own bodies to stop fighting wasn't going well.

His body reached out and grabbed at the incoming arm, dropping into a slight crouch to brace the stance and going for the throw.]

[shiro2hero]

[Shiro's transformed body just keeps on going. Grasping at Keith's hand too, intending to bowl him over with sheer size and momentum. Muscle memory says he's bigger and stronger. Says he should be able to hit Keith like a freight train.]

[That's the goal here. Just plain overwhelm him.]