Alone

[swellter]

Who: Shouto and Allen + Dabi
What: June Event Prompt One. A few hours after THIS. 
When: June 8th.
Where: The Farther Shores a mile away from the cherry blossom tree.

“Alone”

BY EDGAR ALLAN POE

From childhood’s hour I have not been

As others were—I have not seen

As others saw—I could not bring

My passions from a common spring—

From the same source I have not taken

My sorrow—I could not awaken

My heart to joy at the same tone—

And all I lov’d—I lov’d alone—

Then—in my childhood—in the dawn

Of a most stormy life—was drawn

From ev’ry depth of good and ill

The mystery which binds me still—

From the torrent, or the fountain—

From the red cliff of the mountain—

From the sun that ’round me roll’d

In its autumn tint of gold—

From the lightning in the sky

As it pass’d me flying by—

From the thunder, and the storm—

And the cloud that took the form

(When the rest of Heaven was blue)

Of a demon in my view—
 

The nightmares started in April with the death of a friend.

Lying in a pool of Paleblood, clinging to the dying, the first seeds of corruption sank their teeth into his heart spreading doubt and fear. His brother's warm presence that first night kept him from spiraling to that end that forms every Beast in Trench. The next day, it was Amaterasu's guardian sapling that kept his nightmares at bay. He slept under the tranquil aura of the cherry blossom while he waited for his friend's return. For a week, it's calming influence kept his corruption levels low. Afterwards, it was Allen's kind and radiant presence in his home that maintained the sapling's work. It was only after Allen moved into Sancturary and Shouto returned to active duty with the Hunters that his levels started to rise. His omen kept strict watch on his levels waging war every time corruption started to spread, sending him back to the guardian sapling when his levels rose.

It usually happened late at night when his dreams turned against him, and he woke up in a frozen room with his heart beating frantically in his chest. He clung to Kizu those nights, burying his face into the snow leopards winter coat, finding solace in the cold. Ice crept past his sheets those mornings, covering both Sleeper and omen in a layer of frost. Yet, he managed to keep himself together. Foregoing sleep for more shifts with the Hunters until exhaustion forced him into a dreamless sleep after a few days. 

Keeping his corruption to manageble levels was easier in the presence of his friends. His deep connection with them, kept the dark thoughts from finding purchase in his mind. Maybe that's why he spent so much time with them that second month after Allen's death. Accepting their invitations more readily, joining them for dinner, walking them home, going to parties. Their presence gave him a safe heaven, a place where dark thoughts didn't press on his mind, a respite from the nightmares. So, he slept, taking naps at every turn. Somehow, he managed to keep his corruption levels from spiraling out of control up until June when the demon arrived. 

Prime for a takevoer, the demon found him in the midst of another nightmare and latched onto him the first day with Kizu nonethe wiser. It fed on him, plagued his every dream until his body couldn't keep up anymore and he stopped patrolling altogether on day five too tired to complete his rounds. Scrapes and bruises started appearing on his skin on day seven, and on day eight it sent him into a nightmare so frantic he lost control of his quirk, burning his surroundings. Terror set in then, afraid of himself unaware of his rising corruption levels. With the demon clinging to his back, his thoughts turned dark too quickly. Afraid, Shouto sought out his friends and found Allen's network post from a few weeks ago and he replied in search of a familiar face.

A hero agency.

The concept reminded him so much of home it eased some of the terror from his heart. Already feeling a little better, Shouto couldn't help but respond to ask him about his plans, offer his help. It'd give him an excuse to see him in person instead of conversing through the omini as they usually did these days, but the conversation turned sour when the Hunters were mentioned.

Dark thoughts crept into his mind so quickly, spreading like a disease. The demon was fully grown and it's influence more acute. Well fed, it was bigger than him now. The demon dug its claws into him, influencing his thoughts, turning them against him when the omen interfered but it was too late. It had grown too strong, held far too much influence and plunges him into a nightmare long before he reaches the guardian sapling.

When Allen arrives at the cherry blossom tree on the Farther shores, he'll find it empty. If he looks around, he might find a strange sight about a mile away. Upon inspection, he'll come across a glacier jutting out of the black sands, three stories high, and at it's center - at the level of the sand -  lies an unmoving figure distorted by ice. 

Shouto lies sleeping on the black sands, covered in frost, within an open space at the center of the glacier, cut off from the world. The demon clings to him, feeding readily while the carbon dioxide levels slowly increase.

Comments

2/2

[swellter]

[ Is that what you were thinking all along?

The thought combined with Allen's caress down his jaw is enough to make him grow hot - completely involuntary mind you! His cheeks grow flush under his care and he looks away, flustered by that admission. ]

[likethelight]

[ It's ironic, as the one circus act Allen would flat out refuse to do would be that of the lion tamer. Bad memories.

He presses his lips together in a fond smile that has his eyes sparkling in an effort to hide his gentle amusement at that reaction. It really didn't occur to you something like that was his motivation? If Shouto were someone else he might tease him a little gently for it, but he doesn't. The temperature spike is telling enough so he withdraws his hand and lets him have his space to process that and compose himself. Content just to sit at his side rest his head on his shoulder until he does.

I love you, I know I do, otherwise I wouldn't have kissed you. Is that so hard to believe? ]

[swellter]

[ It's a little jarring and completely out of his scope but not bad, even as his heart races in his chest it's a good kind of race the one that leaves you breathless and wanting more.

It was his wording - bad memories. As if he'd give him anything that could easily be replaced.

Finding a semblance of composure proves difficult but soon the red hue turns a soft rose. He glances at him shyly, lost in thoughts he's never had before, not until recently. It makes him fidget in place, his fingers rubbing against each other in a repetitive motion. ]

... I'd like that.

[likethelight]

[ The fidgeting isn't lost on him; it's far too uncharacteristic for Shouto for it not to strike him and causes Allen to still slightly, lips parting in some surprise to realize that and the true depth of the impact that had to mean. Ah...

He lifts his head to look up when he glances at him, with a gentle expression and clear and calm eyes, though he smiles again at that answer. More softly this time, and he gives an accepting small nod. ]

Okay.

[ He doesn't reach for his hands, not wanting to stifle the display of nervous energy, but he does lean against him a little more as he lets himself relax. To make sure the offer of companionship is still obvious and make himself solid and real and present, side by side, even as he looks down at his own hands clasped in his lap and smiles a little shyly as well. ]

That makes me happy too.

[swellter]

[ The excess energy that spills outside of him usually comes in the form of tempeature fluctations, rarely does it ever take physical shape that isn't tied to his quirk. Most of the nervous energy gets dispelled inside him. What little energy that takes on a different physical shape soon gets used up.

He understands. It wasn't about replacing his earring but about connection. The thought makes his throat a little tight and his stomach flutter strangely. ]

Should I get the melon now or do you want to go to sleep?

[ It's late and they've had a very long day. ]

[likethelight]

[ In such a rare contentment and, yes, after such a very long day, under other circumstances Allen might say they could leave it for breakfast.

However. ]

Oh. [ Wait.

He casts him a look, nudging him for a moment. ]

Didn't you said you were going to have some of it too? [ frets! eat something! ]

[swellter]

[ It turns out, he's more tired than hungry, and right now, food is the last thing on his mind. ]

I can have it tomorrow. I"d rather sleep.

[likethelight]

[ Have a slight pout. He's not sure he believes you... Still, he won't press it. Although he might start worrying after him a bit more after this and compulsively offering him more of his food. ]

Alright. Let's go to sleep then. [ Still not sounding entirely convinced, but he pulls back and glances around. Here, right? There isn't really anywhere else that's not destroyed or wet... he makes a note to bring some things over from Sanctuary tomorrow. ]

We can work on fixing things tomorrow. I'll get my wheelchair back so I can move around a little better. [ Judging from how his legs are refusing to work... he'll probably need it for a few days again. ]

[swellter]

[ Blind to his obvious pout, Shouto gets up to take away the tray with the empty dishes, nodding at him at the suggestion. ]

We can pick it up tomorrow.

[ Is all he says before heading into the kitchen and dropping off the items. ]

You can sleep here. [ He says when he returns. ] I'll get you some sheets and a pillow.

[likethelight]

Eh? [ Wait wait, go back. Allen sits up a little straighter at that. He'd kind of... just presumed they both would... but saying it like that makes it sound like you mean for just him to sleep here and he is not taking the only thing still resembling a bed even if it is kind of narrow. ]

It's big enough for both of us. It's fine, I don't take up much space.

[ This is the one (1) time you will hear him refer to his own stature as such. ]

[swellter]

[ Without missing a beat: ] You sprawl.

[likethelight]

[ LIKE A DAGGER IN THE BACK ]

Not always!

[swellter]

[ Is he... pulling his arm? ]

You should sleep comfortably.

[ Be yourself, Allen. <3 ]

[likethelight]

[ No but he might kick his foot a little in subconscious revenge one night. ]

And you shouldn't? [ Indignant. He huffs lightly and pulls his legs up, crossing them at the ankles. ]

[swellter]

[ A kicker and a biter, what a dreamboat. ]

I can sleep anywhere.

[ It’s his super power. ]

[likethelight]

[ It's not biting! ]

So can I. [ Bold of you to assume he's even used to having a bed. ]

It's fine! I won't 'sprawl'.

[ As if he even does!! He... just likes hugging onto a pillow instead of Timcanpy since he got smaller. So sue him. ]

[swellter]

[ Of course not. <3

The adamant protest has him re-evaluating the offer and he starts to connect the dots. ]

Do you… want me to sleep with you?

1/3

[likethelight]

 

2/3

[likethelight]

[ ... ]

3/3

[likethelight]

[ Flushing, he looks pointedly away. Sulky. ]

...If you don't want to, that's alright.

[ He didn't realize that until you said it and now he's not sure and is kind of judging himself. Goddamnit. ]

[swellter]

[ A tilt of his head. ]

I want to, but I don't want you falling and hurting yourself.

[ When he built the nook, he made it for one. He didn't think anyone would ever want to share it with him. ]

[likethelight]

[ -- oh.

He blinks, glancing back in some surprise at that. Mollified. ]

I won't fall. [ He shifts, coming around to face him again. Timcanpy, who's been sitting at the head of the nook watching them, tilts his own head to the side. Which of course means his whole body. ]

I can keep my back to the wall. [ If that's what you're worried about. ]

[swellter]

[ It's a sound line of reasoning and one Shouto hadn't thought about. Mainly because he didn't think they both could fit in the small space, not comfortably at least. ]

Maybe if I sleep on my side, I'll take up as much space as you, then we can both fit.

[ He says, nodding to himself, a plan coming together. ]

I think that can work.

[likethelight]

[ A plan for how to sleep? Really?

He cocks his head to the side, a lopsided and wry sort of smile tugging at one corner of his mouth, but it's as fond as much as it is anything and he just scratches at his cheek a touch sheepishly for a moment. ]

I think so too. [ He says it more gently, the relief as evident in his voice as it is in the slight drop of his shoulders. ]

Did you want to get the bedding? [ Whatever... survived?

One of these days he'll be back on his feet and he can be the one to help gather everything for bed. He really does hate that he's not and is going to feel like he has months to make up for. ]

[swellter]

[ It feels like a whirlwind of new beginnings with so many things having taken unexpected turns this night. It's odd how so much had changed, yet it felt like a natural progression. If it wasn't for Allen paving the way, Shouto would never have found his way here. Not tonight, not like this. He's grateful for his hindsight and bravery.

He nods, gracing him with a honeyed look and a winsome smile. His focus lingers on him, expression softening as his eyes skim over him. You are... He breaks eye contact before the thought is fully formed.]

I'll be back.

[ He says, meeting his eys before turning around and heading out. A few minutes later, he's carrying clean sheets and two pillows that may or may not both fit in the space. ]