deercountry | ( CLOSED ) MY LONELINESS IS KILLING ME.

[ truthfully, katherine doesn't want to go alone. even though she's so used to it, doing things herself, having only herself to rely on, now that she has stefan, she doesn't want to do this one by herself. selfishly, she doesn't want to posture as being capable of dealing with what could or couldn't be waiting for them inside of their children's minds without someone beside her.

stefan's always been there. she wants him to be there when they do this. ]

I think we should go together.

[ she scrunches up her face to try and feign courage. she doesn't feel particularly brave. ]

Just in case.

Okay.

( this isn't something that stefan wants to do but if he's going to do it, being with katherine is probably for the best. he doesn't want her to go alone and he doesn't want to go alone.

but, he worries what he's going to see in there. he doesn't want to see something that's going to stay with him forever.

but, he nods. )

Which one first?

[ that's a hard question. she wants to help them both at the same time. what if it only works for one of them? what if they can't go back? but katherine doesn't allow that to show on her face, even though her expression pinches and her eyes shimmer with unshed tears. ]

Luca.

[ she brushes her hand gently against nadia's leg to quietly tell her she'll come back for her. she always will. ]

He's the youngest. He's probably the most scared.

[ or she is. ]

Okay. Do you want to get us in there since you're stronger?

( he would do it but he thinks she'd be able to hold them there longer than he would. )

Or can we both do it? I've never tried two people at once.

I don't know if we can do both.

[ katherine's not entirely sure if she wants to. but does she want to do one then the other? isn't ripping off the bandaid quickly better than a slow peel?

she licks her lips and closes her eyes for a moment, trying to steady herself and get centred. he has a good point. maybe it's better to do both. if stefan believes that she can do it, then she wants to lean into that. she's never manipulated the dreams of more than one person at a time before.

but something in her has changed. katherine thinks she can extend that manipulation further than any other vampire now. ]

Let's try both. [ she nods and places her hand in stefan's. ] You touch Luca. I'll touch Nadia. And don't pull your hand away from any of us.

I won't.

( swallowing, he squeezes her hand and then reaches out to press his palm to luca's cheek, covering the cool skin. he glances at her, waiting for her to touch nadia. )

I'm ready, I'm good.

( as ready as they could ever be for something that neither of them has tried, at least. )

[ katherine doesn't want to move her hand from nadia's thigh. she thinks to move and can't make her hand do so. she doesn't want to think of her daughter being present but gone. she doesn't want to think of her being in pain. but if she can somehow help her and breathe life back into her, then she'll do it—even at the detriment of herself.

after a deep breath in, she reaches for nadia's small, cold hand, and tentatively presses down against it. closing her eyes, she focuses, and reluctantly enters the minds before her to try and paint a rather fun, beautifully bright dream.

taking them back to her cottage in bulgaria, the very one she had taken nadia to reunite her with her father and grandmother, she looks around at the brightly lit house and surroundings. the sun is too bright. the air is too warm. the cottage stands tall and strong. a little ways away from her is nadia and luca, their backs to them both.

when katherine peers down, her hand is in stefan's. she can see that he's there, present in a way that nadia and luca hadn't been. their children remain with their backs turned, quiet and still a few feet away. ]

( he knows the moment that katherine takes them inside their minds. it's like a pull and then he opens his eyes and he knows where they are. this is where they seem to go for a lot of dream manipulation.

he takes a breath and blinks, focusing on nadia and luca in the distance. he doesn't like that their backs are turned. he wishes he could see them but they're not looking.

katherine's hand is in his and he looks over at her. she's there, he's there, they'd managed to get inside their minds so that's a start. )

Should we call them?

[ if this happened to be any other circumstance, katherine wouldn't be beside him waiting for him to come to. her impatience would get the better of her for the first time in her long life and she'd be with them, gently wrestling them into the ground and cuddling them on the dirt. but as the children are behaving strangely, she remains in place. ]

I don't think so.

[ she doesn't know what to do. she doesn't tear her gaze away from luca or nadia's backs. ]

I think we should go to them.

[ except she's not putting one foot in front of the other just yet. ]

Okay.

( he waits a minute before he gets himself moving, keeping a hold of her hand so she'll come along with him. his steps are slow, quiet, because he doesn't want to startle the kids. )

Come on, we're almost there.

( and then they can see if this works or if it's a lost cause for the moment. )

[ katherine has been afraid of many things in her long life, but she has never been so terrified she wasn't able to properly think and find a solution out of it. until now.

she lets stefan lead her, the distance closing between her and the kids. she would rather turn around and run away—it's the one thing she knows how to do best—but she moves forward, unable to really pivot on her foot and flee.

ignoring all of her uncertainties, she stands a little taller and watches the backs of the kids' heads. they remain unnaturally still.

she barely moves her lips when she quietly says, ] They're not moving.

Don't panic.

( they're not moving but he wants to think that there's a reason. he swallows and brings her around to stand in front of them. they...look alive but unnaturally still like she'd noticed. )

Luca.

( he waves a hand in front of his son's face. )

You should touch him.

[ despite being utterly brave and fearless in the face of the world's most dangerous hybrid, katherine finds herself heavy with fear. she shouldn't allow herself to show it, but katherine stares at luca's face and finds herself completely unnerved. she doesn't want to move. ]

I don't think waving will work.

Okay.

( he swallows and crouches down, reaching out to gently take luca's hand. )

Luca? Hey buddy, you there?

[ while katherine wants to be brave like stefan, she remains standing behind him. she stares at the back of his head before shifting her gaze to luca. he seems so still. he doesn't even seem to recognise either of them being present.

but she thinks she sees nadia's nose twitch a little. ]

How does he feel?

He's not cold.

( he doesn't react but he's not cold and that means stefan's going to keep up the touch, rubbing briskly at his biceps and then taking his hand. )

Luca, come on, come back. Come on, it's us. Mom and Dad. Wake up, we want to see you.

[ although katherine wants to remain where she is, safely tucked away from them both, she comes to stand behind stefan. resting her hand on his shoulder, she lowers to her knees and remains beside him.

of all the dream manipulations she's captained, none have ever turned out like this. granted, she's never tried manipulating three people at once. ]

Do you think I messed up the dream?

No, I don't think this is you, Katherine.

(it's the kids, it's whatever's happening with them. he frowns, shaking his head. )

Touch him with me. Maybe the both of us can do it.

[ she hesitates. katherine doesn't want to make anything worse. she's half-convinced that she's to blame for this. if she'd done the manipulation better, in some other way... maybe luca would be responsive.

glancing at stefan from the corner of her eye, she inhales deeply and steels her shoulders. she tugs her hand from stefan and reaches out to very tentatively touch luca's wrist.

quietly, ] He didn't fall apart at my touch.

He didn't.

( luca's blinking a few times, a little quicker now though he doesn't move more than that. stefan glances at nadia. )

Come on, buddy. Come on. You're safe here. This is us.

[ she still feels hesitant to do anything, worried that if she does, something will finally break. all of this is reliant on her, and katherine doesn't want to ruin it like she's ruined much of her life. ]

"This is us", your dad says. But it's not all of us.

[ katherine shakes her head and tsks quietly. what stefan has said is perfectly fine, but it's not in true katherine fashion to go along with everything. it's helping her come back to herself—and prompts her to reach across stefan and take nadia's hand. she then takes luca's in her other hand. ]

Put your hand on ours, Stefan.

Okay.

( he really hopes this works. he doesn't want to leave this dreamscape without seeing the kids get some life breathed in them.

so, he does as katherine says, reaching out and putting his hands on top of theirs to connect them all. )

Come on, guys.

[ it feels a little cliched to be connected like this, with everyone holding hands. but katherine knows from studying witchcraft and from what she learned of traveller culture that connection is one of the most significant ways to break through something.

she closes her eyes and inhales deeply, trying to slow her racing heart. she wants to be grounded. ]

Stop pushing it, Stefan. [ she murmurs. ] Open your mind. If you stop being afraid, maybe they will.

I'm not pushing it.

( he doesn't think he is, at least. he's just...trying. he wants so badly for this to work but he tries to do as katherine asks.

he closes his eyes and relaxes, opening his mind to the both of them. )

Okay, okay. I'm good.

Are you?

[ katherine cocks her brow. she can feel him tense right beside her. she knows he can't help it. this is a strange situation to be in, an even stranger one to hope dissipates. katherine wants it as much as he does, but she does her best to try and remain relaxed.

it's hard.

nadia giggles softly. ]

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject