deercountry | open | homesickness

Entry tags:

open | homesickness

Who:

undermoonlight + Open
What: Atsushi explores and misses Yokohama
When: Sept 1st - 6th
Where: Boardwalk, Odd End, & Earworm

Content Warnings: N/A for this log.

A | The Boardwalk

[Out of reach, purposefully ignored, is a thought: "This is pointless. They're not coming here."

But Atsushi comes back to the Boardwalk anyway. He's figured out by now that new squids won't be appearing on the shores and no new faces will be arriving, but he still wants them to. He's spent a few hours walking up and down the beach in search of familiar items, but nothing from Yokohama has washed up on shore.

When he goes back to the boardwalk, hoping to clear his head, he only finds himself more distracted. Male presenting characters with brown hair might hear a startled Atsushi walk up behind them and call out hopefully, only to be quite disappointed when they turn around. Otherwise, characters may notice him calling out to a native;]

[He goes from reaching out his hand to lowering it. Disappointed. Sometimes he'll do this to a non-sleeper and watch them walk away afterward. In these cases, Atsushi gives them a few seconds to get away. Then he clenches his fist and lowers his head; Guilty, ashamed, and frustrated all at once.]

B | Cassandra District - Odd End

[Missing Yokohama makes Atsushi want to be a proper apprentice. He's been poking into shops for a while now in search of a blank notebook to write notes in, and Odd End feels hopeful. The things here don't cater to the uncomfortable blood magic that seems to be everywhere else.

Some of the odds and ends even seem charming at first glance. He doesn't recognize the occult value for the candles or plants, but he does think they look interesting. Usagi might like that candle and Makoto likes plants, doesn't she? But as soon as he crosses paths with someone else, Atsushi withdraws his hands and awkwardly tries to move away.]

need

C | Cellar Door Distract - Passing Earworm

[After some wandering, Atsushi ends up in the Cellar Door district. It feels nicer than the rest of the Trench (which isn't saying much,) and the atmosphere change does help him relax. Enough so that he's able to notice the Earworm and look at the sign curiously.]

[He stands awkwardly there for a moment longer. Atsushi never had time for this sort of thing in Yokohama. His only experiences with them are judgmental ones, where he thinks they're indecent and vulgar. But compared to the hellhole that is the Trench, the Earworm looks like a nice place to visit. It looks like a normal place for someone his age to go.

After getting a look from the bouncer, Atsushi steps away in a hurry. Shaking his head and scolding himself aloud;]

[But he does look over his shoulder as he tries to walk away. And nearly collides into someone as a result;]

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( Samatoki feels his heart jump when he hears Yokohama from the kid who nearly collides into him. He's stopped fully, taking a step back and holding a hand up. )

You're fine. Did you say Yokohama? Or am I hallucinating.

There were still people showing up, some that were coming from Deerington and others were coming from their homes which Makoto had been surprised by. She wasn't sure why new people would continue to be pulled in after everything. But that was something for another time, she'd come back to the boardwalk to pick up the hair tie she'd talked to one woman about, and to pick up a few other small things for the house.

She knew that Atsushi had still been trying to settle in, adjusting to the time that had been lost, so Makoto tried to give him space. But when she caught a glimpse of him talking to a brown haired boy, and then clenched his first and looked down she had to ask.

Walking up she stopped a few feet away holding her hands in front of her.

"What's wrong? Is there someone you're looking for?"

[Hearing the name of his home, Atsushi’s eyes widen. Many people have recognized the city, but few take interest in it.

He nods.]

Yes, Yokohama, Japan. Have you heard of it..?

Hearing Makoto does help to snap Atsushi out of his self hatred. He lifts his head to look at her, noticing that she seems to be collecting things for the house.

Shouldn’t he be doing that?

Why isn’t he helping with the house?

He needs to stop thinking about Yokohama…

He slowly unclenches his fist, trying to appear relaxed. He needs to focus on the present, and yet…

“Mm. Sorry. I thought I recognized someone.” Atsushi sighs. This is Makoto. He should be more open with her, right?

Yet he’s quick to try to brush any concern for him away, “Did you find what you needed? Need a hand?”

Heard of it? I used to run that shit, b.

( He narrows his eyes a little, pupils slit and ringed with red, horns tall. )

I kicked it there with my division for a while until I got ... pulled away elsewhere. You from there?

Run it..?

[Atsushi’s first thought is that sounds like something that the Port Mafia might say. Or a similarly powerful gang.]

Yeah, I live- lived there. Though I haven’t been back in a year. My name is Atsushi Nakajima.

Yeah, I was wakagashira for a yakuza family but my real pride was the rap division I was part of.

( Not far off, honestly. )

I'm Samatoki Aohitsugi. Does the name Mad Trigger Crew mean anything to you?

It had been something for herself more than the house really, something to hopefully make her feel a bit more like herself. He'd probably noticed that since arriving Makoto's hair had actually been down a lot more than it usually was.

"I was just looking for this. And found a few other cute things too."

She held out the hair tie with the rose that she had found when she first arrived, at a stand that Usagi had pointed out to her. Makoto hadn't had anything to trade for it, and so far it had been a little difficult for her to get much. After all vilebloods weren't the most welcome from what she had heard. That she was a rotted soul.

"If you could help me hold it for just a second while I put it in place."

Lifting her hair a little she looked at Atsushi, she was happy to see him but he seemed distracted, like there was something missing.

"Who was it you thought you saw?"

Yakuza, huh?

[Atsushi can’t help but frown slightly. He isn’t very fond of the gangsters in Yokohama, it’s true, but he’s trying not to let his judgment cloud immediately.

Which is very hard for him to do.]

No, it’s doesn’t. I’m with the Armed Detective Agency? If that means anything to you?

Seeing the rose on the hair tie immediately makes him think of her. Roses suit her image so well and he thinks of her every time that he sees them.

Atsushi nods, smiling faintly, and reaches to take the hair tie. He even takes a step closer, offering to help with her hair like he would for Usagi.

“Mm. I haven’t seen your hair up in a while, huh..? It looks cute down.” Oh wait. Said too much. He can feel his cheeks redden.

“Uh- Dazai-san… he’s the one who saved me. But I should have known he wouldn’t get caught up in something like this.” Dazai was so smart. If he came, they would get out of Deerington in no time—

Except they’ve already gotten out, and look how far that got them.

[ .. what a sad display, Ange thinks.

But it's sad in a way that makes her feel sympathetic. It's obvious what's going on here, after all. Atsushi did end up here somehow, but apparently no one else from his home - or perhaps just not the people he wanted to see most here.

So after watching him try to call out a few times like that to various natives, Ange ends up just approaching Atsushi. She can't really just watch this go on for longer. ]

Do you really miss them that much..?

[ Sure, there are a lot of other things Ange could say. Like properly greeting Atsushi, for once. But in the face of this situation, she can't help but be more direct about the main matter first. ]

[Atsushi flinches at the sound of her voice. She's a familiar face, sure, but she's someone from Deerington. His regrets and anxieties bubble beneath the surface as he lifts his gaze to meet her. To Atsushi, it feels like he only saw Ange a few days ago. He understands now that to others, it's been months since he was left.]

Does it seem that way?

[He doesn't know if he misses Dazai and the rest of the Agency. Atsushi only spent a few months in Yokohama, compared to over a year in Deerington. He should feel more at home with Ange and the others, and yet...]

It would be nice to see them again, yeah. [sighing, because he knows he probably won't.] But it's good to see you, Ange. How are you doing? I heard that it's been a while.

[ At least she's kind enough to not answer his initial question. It's so obvious that even just saying 'yes' would be kind of sad.

So instead Ange focuses on the rest of what he says, her head dipping into a nod. ]

Yeah, it's been.. a long time. [ She can't even remember what the last time was that she spoke to Atsushi. It must have been so long before they ended up here instead. And yet he was brought here too - just like the rest of them. ] And.. I guess that means you didn't choose to go here, the way the rest of us did.

Choose to be here? What do you mean? Did you-- Did others get to choose to go back... [Back home is what he wanted to say, but the words fizzle out on his tongue.

Where even is his home? Yokohama feels so far away. Sometimes he can't even remember the route from his apartment to the Agency. He doesn't remember the faces of some of the Agency staff anymore. He's afraid he's forgotten even more. But does he really want to think of the horrific town they were in before as home?

Atsushi tries to push those thoughts aside and focus on Ange. Concerned now as he realizes what her choice to stay implies.]

... You stayed? Why? Did things get better over there? [x to doubt.]

Yeah. Hm. Haven't heard of yours either.

( Armed Detective Agency? It occurs to Samatoki that they're on opposite ends of the law here, or something like that; Jyuto would be laughing. )

If that doesn't mean anything to you ... Sounds like we're from different Yokohamas. Ain't no thing.

We got to choose, yeah.

[ At least she can confirm that much for him. It makes her wonder how he ended up here all the same, if he didn't make the same choice as them. Does this place draw random people in exactly like how Deerington did? Now she's thinking about it, she does think she heard a few messages from people who seemed totally new to this entire situation..

.. it's such an odd thought, but Ange frowns and shakes her head, shelving it for now so she can answer him. ]

And of course I chose to go here. For me, choosing to go back home is the same as choosing to die.

[Different Yokohamas. So really, Atsushi shouldn't be looking at him this way. Their friends aren't technically enemies. Their situations could be very complicated. Their morals might even align.

But Atsushi doesn't like the idea of yakuza. He's having a hard time getting over that word.]

Yeah, that seems to be the case. There seem to be a lot of different versions of Japan out there. [One thought does shine through, helping to alleviate some of Atsushi's harsher thoughts;]

But I think you're the first person I've met who is also from Yokohama. Does yours also have the ferris wheel? [Meeting someone from home is making him more nostalgic than angry.]

... Right. Sorry.

[Ange and him may both be orphans, but Atsushi has somewhere to go back to. Or did have somewhere to go back to. Looking at Ange and remembering the times they spent together (the less horrific ones, anyway,) he feels less lost than he did when walking up and down the shore.]

It's not bad... the people, at least. Maybe I chose to be here too. I don't think I could have left you behind, anyway. I'd never stop worrying about you, so... mm. [Maybe he subconsciously decided to stay and that's why he's still here.]

[ The words 'don't apologize' are on the tip of her tongue, but Atsushi continues before she can say a thing.. and then, of all things, he says that. It steals any words right out of Ange's mouth, making her instead stare at the other blankly.

.. well, and perhaps with just a bit of surprise and fluster in her expression too, all at the same time. ]

You'd.. never stop worrying about me?

[ Ugh, why is Atsushi like this! He's always been like this, hasn't he? Just way too nice. ]

[Meanwhile, Atsushi fails to understand how this could fluster her. He's more concerned that he's said something wrong as in 'incorrect.']

Of course, I mean. We've spent so much time together and I like you. I can't just leave you behind anymore..?

[He's searching her expression for approval when it occurs to him what he might have said wrong.]

Not that you need me for anything! I know you'd be fine without me! But I'd still worry!

It doesn't hurt to look.

[There was a familiar voice just behind him. Someone walked up, the familiar three eyes looking at him quietly while Vira-Lorr came closer. She hadn't heard what he'd said perfectly, but the look of disappointment... she had felt it over and over again.]

Are you looking for a friend?

Makoto's cheeks felt a little warm as she blushed with him that close, it deepening when he said that it was cute when she wore it down. She'd never been sure about it, and with martial arts and everything just having it pulled back and out of the way was easy. Plus she had thought she looked cute with a ponytail since it helped to show off her earrings.

"Thank you."

She'd have to try wearing it down more when they were just around the house. When Atsuahi said the name though she tried to remember if it was one she recognized.

"You never know, there's all kind of people that show up and some of them I wouldn't have expected. Though if he does, I think I'd like to meet him."

They'd had the choice to get out, but Makoto had chosen to stay as had Usagi, Rei, and Minako. In hope of continuing to protect those who showed up, and for Makoto in hopes of was right here in front of her now.

[Ruby was honestly just browsing when she crossed paths with Atsushi at first she didn't recognize the nervous energy that he gave off and just awkwardly sort of stepped to the side into his path as she made an attempt to move around him.]

Oh- No. Don't worry about it. It's my fault!

[And she blinks once. The mechanical shutter of her prosthetic eye clicking as it makes the motion.]

Oh! Hey there Atsushi! Fancy seeing you here.

I knew some people in my last city who were from Japan too, but not the one I knew.

( He has to smirk a little at the ferris wheel question; makes him remember something distant, a little murky, but still welcome and warm. )

Sure the fuck does. Never went to it much but my homie Riou thought it might be a good team-building thing.

"I'd like to..." Introduce them? Atsushi felt flustered at the thought. He knew that he would be teased for having a girlfriend. Would it feel strange for the agency members? The last time they'd seen him, Atsushi had been a sad orphan seeking a reason to stay in Yokohama. But now...

He moved to help her with the ponytail, briefly falling silent. Did he even want to go home anymore? He had a lot to protect in this life too.

"... Dazai-san is really amazing. I'm sure you'd like him." Atsushi finally agreed, "Has everyone you were hoping for washed up, Makoto-chan?"

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open | homesickness

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A. The Boardwalk

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