deercountry | Mother stands for comfort

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Mother stands for comfort

Who: Luz and you (and specifically with Luca)
What: Luz tries to resist the hex, and not mutate herself until she finally falls to beast hood
When: Middle of February (sorry Luz, no birthday for you)
Where: All around Trench

She'd read the sermon and was sure that was when the trouble began. Luz had thought, after getting others who'd been sympathetic and lent an ear to her troubles, that she might be able to ride out the crazy of this month, that she'd get to her birthday in relative peace. Unfortunately, things didn't get better: instead, Luz found herself plagues by the past: her father leaving, the scorn of being that "weird" kid in her class, and the things that came with her Deerington and new Trench memories.

After Varian, Luz had been meticulous about trying to keep such thoughts from consuming her, trying to talk to others when she could, listening to advice and meditating more than she probably had any month. But the thoughts kept coming, and no matter what Luz did, she found she was feeling more depressed by the day, even though she interacted with people and did her best to keep her smile up.

And then one day, she found it was starting to feel worse than usual, enough that she even resorted to turning to her bird form if only to escape those memories. Now they were starting to compound, and images of the cave men and the Blood Cultists and their attacks on her began to plague her nightmares. It got so bad that she woke up feeling the cuts in her skin as clearly as she had back then, and she would be breathing hard and be so anxious she stayed in bed.

She had no idea how to stop this, and moments where she started to consider self-harm surfaced, shocking her so badly she took a cold bath, shivering and in tears, wondering what would happen next.

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"I hear people who really know how to handle them don't wear gloves, but they probably really know how to take care of them. It'd be tricky I suspect." But they were very affectionate creatures when they trusted you.

"Exactly. It'll be easier to fix in that situation if someone knows where to find you." And bonds absolutely helped.

"Oh, I'll bet. It'd be worth a little pain to be able to hold one of those cuties though!"

Luz would do her best to earn the porcupine's affection!

"Hopefully it won't ever be so bad that I need that kind of help?"

You never knew, though.

She giggled. "Absolutely worth it." She personally thought they made a very good type of pet if you knew what you were doing with it. Probably had to avoid smothering them a little though.

"Better prepared for what never comes, than to be unprepared if it does. I hazard to think this world watches for opportunities like those."

"Exactly! I think most critters are worth it, and hedgehogs have always been pretty cute!"

Lus tended to try avoid smothering her pets. Heck, some of them were even impossible to smother.

"That is a good point. I wouldn't put it past this place to have a catastrophe happen overnight."

She nodded once, sighing some. "Yes, it does like to surprise us, doesn't it? Ah, but we'll be ok either way. You're a good one for preparations, and I refuse to be caught by surprise anymore if I can help it."

"I'm not always able to do it, but I don't think anyone can be fully prepared all the time anyway. How are you able to avoid the surprise? Your second sight?"

"Well..." Yeah, part of it was the second sight, but... "On the one hand? I sometimes do get a feeling of trouble coming about a week in advance. It's not definitive, and if it isn't a particularly nasty thing that I think people will listen to my warnings about? I don't usually mention it. But some of it is just that I'm starting to get used to the sorts of troubles we face here. They have a certain... common set of threads."

"I think I get what you're saying. It sure does feel like we do get into trouble too often for our own good. I had a feeling you might be holding back a little bit though!"

Luz sighed. "It really all just starts to blend together after a while, doesn't it?"

"You picked up on that, did you?" she said with a little snicker, leaning in to tap her on the forehead. "Something I want you to keep in your mind. I hold it back because I know not everyone's ready to hear or trust. So it won't do much good. But if you ever hear me saying things like that and mourning that nobody's listening to me? Talk me down."

She... really did know at this point what she was capable of when she felt pushed and paranoid. "And yeah, it kind of blends together a bit. But that's when we start to find a way to just survive every day."

"I've known you long enough, I better!"

Luz listened quietly, nodding her head. "I hear you loud and clear, Vira. It's one thing to be able to do those things, but in practice I'm sure it'll have its own pitfalls and dangerous implications. And the last thing I ever want is something happening to you."

Especially if it was something Luz was responsible for by mistake.

"We'll find a way. We always do."

Something that Luz was going to have to remind herself AFTER all of this.

"I trust you, along with a few, to catch that sort of thing. It's important for us to have an idea for when we're not simply distressed or stressed, but something appears legitimately wrong with us. Like you said, we'll find a way. An ounce of prevention, if you will..." Certainly it was something that would be good for all of them to keep in mind for the future.

"Right. We'll have to have plans, when things like this happen and we have to find away to disarm without hurting too much. Maybe one day we should gather together and start to formulate plans, for the people that we know, in case it ever should come to that."

Luz paused. "Uh. We're not sounding too much like F.E.A.R. all over again though, right? I was never a part of them, so I'm not sure exactly what their credo was all about."

"No, we aren't. FEAR had a very specific plan that we were playing into without realizing it. In the end, we're not organizing into any sort of global force specifically with goals that involve harming others for our own sake. but... it's good to be cautious when making plans." She nodded sagely at that. "Ramona's pitfall is too easy to fall into if we succumb to fear."

"I don't want to mistakenly harm anyone. I understand why it might be a good idea for us all to band together, because there might be a time that we need to do it. When those Zealots got ahold of us, for one thing."

Luz watched her friend. "Do you think Ramona ever had good intentions, and they just got twisted somehow during everything that happened, or was she always just...doomed to fail?"

"..." She hated Ramona so much, but after aa moment and a groan, she had to admit... "Before, when she arrived and befriended the girl? I believe it was genuine. She just wanted to survive. That was what drove her mad. When Ramona was the only one, she was probably confused and disoriented and the girl bonded to her. Only after things started to go haywire did she lose her mind."

"It is not easy to admit that, but I don't think she was truly a manipulative soul by nature."

"Right," Luz said, looking unsure. "In other words, it happened over time, and look at her now. It's like her soul can never rest, she'll always be...like that."

Luz looked up at her friend. "If it could happen to her, good intentions turned into something that goes against what you wanted, couldn't it happen to anyone?"

"Be.. like... what?" And it was apparent in that moment that Vira-Lorr was not aware of the state of what Ramona had become. She didn't actually travel in that area, and hadn't investigated rumors, and there was a nervous look in her face.

"It could, if we aren't careful, yes. It's necessary to always be mindful of one's weaknesses. Perhaps the one good thing about some of the curses they do. They're darkly educational very rarely."

"I've heard she's become a shadow of herself, that she lives out in the BAD part of the woods, unrecognizable. Even the Fathiers know not to go there. I'm guessing its part of her curse, to be a part of whatever dark forces reign there."

Personally, she may not have liked what Ramona had done, but her punishment seemed much harsher than what happened to that harridan who simply was called a different name and still had her own collective of worshippers.

"I feel like we could do without the intensity of some of those 'lessons'," Luz said, sighing. "It always seems to end with trauma."

"..." Vira-Lorr's countenance darkened. Yeah, that was not something that she wanted to hear. But at the same time, Ramona's powers weren't impacting them here, so she was ... powerless after a fashion. "I... need to look into that at some point. To make sure she's no danger."

"Agreed. It's more than a little too much at times. Whatever good comes of it is accidental."

"Might be better to leave that be. I don't know why, but I don't find myself wanting to venture too far out into the really questionable parts of Trench. I feel like they're that way for a reason."

And honestly, Luz figured the less Vira thought about Ramona, the better.

"And its hard enough trying to explain that to new people, you know?"

She breathed in and out slowly. "I will try to leave it be. But it's hard with that woman. I will always worry that what she became will lead to further trouble. If she is contained, however, then good..." A shake of the head and she relented for now.

"Effectively impossible with a few rare and generally unfortunate exceptions. Those who knew the robot bear seemed to have a bit of a sense of it... but he was twisted beyond recognition."

"I think at this point, it's only further trouble for herself. It doesn't seem like she can do much in that form, and even if she could, who would follow her? I think most people are starting to forget that Deerington even existed."

Which made her uneasy, since Sister Psycho still seemed to be around.

"Exactly! Wait, what about a robot bear?"

"Yes and no. I certainly won't allow them to completely forget. Can't make the same mistakes... but if she's trapped with only physical prowess it lessens the harm she can do considerably." And if that was the case, it definitely made it easier to ignore her.

"It was... a period when people were put through awful, forced court sequences run by a demented robotic teddy bear. I do not remember if you saw those or not. Let's just say it was not aa good month for me, and blessedly those memories are now only in my head."

"Right. She can just suffer for. Her actions."

It didn't sound right coming out of her mouth, and that was because Luz didn't believe it. It sounded like a horrible existence, one that made every day a waking nightmare. She may have disliked what the creature represented to Vira, but it still sounded awful to her ears.

"Oh that. No, no, I've seen one at least. It wasn't something I wish I remembered but. I never died in Deerington, so all my memories are intact. My horrible, horrible memories."

Luz partly said this as a joke, but it was a pretty bitter one.

No, it didn't sound right coming out of either of their mouths, but it was what it was. Vira-Lorr did believe it, but even she knew how much it was wrong to feel that way. She sighed and nodded. "Or at the very least, may she never harm another again. I suppose... that would be enough." She could concede that at least.

She reached over and ruffled her hair, smiling at her. "I hate that some of those are awful, but I'm glad they're all intact at the very least. We'll have to protect that, won't we? But fortunately, I think you missed my trial. It's for the best."

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