Usagi Tsukino ☾ Eternal Sailor Moon (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
lightthedarkness) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
deercountry2022-04-03 11:29 am
lightthedarkness) wrote in deercountry2022-04-03 11:29 am
If I turn into another
Who: Usagi Tsukino, people who are bonded with her, and potentially you
What: Usagi is having a mini-meltdown about the Eternal Night
When: First half of April
Where: Usagi's house and then some parts of Cellar Door and Willful Machine
Content Warnings: Past mentions of violence, murder, emotional trauma, past mentions of attempts at genocide
A. Dig me up from under what is covering the better part of me [Closed to those bonded to her]
B. Sing this song [Her house - Later in the week]
C. Remind me that we'll always have each other [Around Cellar Door and Willful Machine - Second week of April]
D. When everything else is gone [WILDCARD]
((OOC: If you would like to plot something, please don't hesitate to contact me at![[plurk.com profile]](https://plurk.com/favicon.ico)
snickersnack or make up your own prompt!
What: Usagi is having a mini-meltdown about the Eternal Night
When: First half of April
Where: Usagi's house and then some parts of Cellar Door and Willful Machine
Content Warnings: Past mentions of violence, murder, emotional trauma, past mentions of attempts at genocide
A. Dig me up from under what is covering the better part of me [Closed to those bonded to her]
When it was April 1st and the sun didn't initially rise, Usagi was uneasy but not worried. This was just Trench being its weird Trenchie self.
When the second day came and the sun still had not risen, slowly the memories began to come, unbidden, unyielding, unforgiving and she forced them back and away. It would be okay.
When the third day of it came?
Usagi realized that April might be the new October, and the image of herself, giggling, laughing, bleeding from her crescent moon as she hugged her friends and then killed them, as she went mad and tried to kill everyone, literally, everyone, until Rei ran a sword through her chest-
She panicked.
She locked herself in her room and refused to come out. She locked her windows and closed the blinds as she sat in the corner of her room, knees hugged to her chest.
It's okay, it's okay, it's okay!
She tried to reassure herself.
You won't turn into her, you won't turn into her, you won't turn into her!
She began to shake, trembling and feeling her eyes well up with tears as she hid her face in her knees.
If she stayed right there no one would be hurt, she wouldn't hurt anyone, no one would die.
It was only the third day, it would be okay, it would be fine. She would just stay in here, she wouldn't leave.
Her heartbeat was pounding in her ears and it was hard to breathe, harder to breath.
No, she begged. Please no.
Please, please, please, please.
She can't, not again, not that again. Not her. Not her.
Her margay, Lua, let out soft chirps of concern, trying to nuzzle Usagi's hand to help her feel better, but Usagi didn't even feel it, didn't even notice. Her whole body is trembling and she hugs her knees tighter to her chest and swallows down every sob so no one in the house can hear her.
Unfortunately, Usagi had forgotten that the bonds she had formed were telegraphing everything.
B. Sing this song [Her house - Later in the week]
It was later in the week when Usagi was finally convinced to at least leave her room even if she couldn't be convinced to leave the house. She's jumpy, skittish like an actual rabbit. Every other moment she seems to be looking out the windows only to decide she doesn't want to see, she shuts the curtains of whatever room she's in, and if she's in a room that doesn't have them, she leaves it. The full moon and the endless night is making her blood sing in her body and she immediately hates it when usually such a thing is a comfort because it's her connection to the moon.
So when she hears the doorbell or a knock she practically jumps over the course of her self-induced imprisonment, sometimes even dropping what she's holding and it smashes on the floor or spills all over. She heads over to the door, not opening it. She'll have to clean up the mess in a moment. Her hands are trembling and to stop that, she rests them against the wood of the door.
"W-Who is it?" she calls out. "What do you want?" she tries to hide the fear in her voice but can't.
C. Remind me that we'll always have each other [Around Cellar Door and Willful Machine - Second week of April]
It took constant reassurance, but Usagi has been convinced to at least leave the house for short trips... if only to give her poor kitchenware a break from being broken all the time, or from just breaking something in general in her panic.
After all, as some had pointed out, food was not scarce, no wall of corpses every twelfth hour, people weren't turning into monsters left and right, the water wasn't turned into blood or plants into ash. She was able to sleep a full night's rest without concern, she wasn't sleepwalking, there was a whole list of reasons why this was different. And she was under the moon, not those eyes.
As she walked through Willful Machine, she can softly be heard muttering 'it's okay, it's okay,' as she walks, her hands shaking as she checks again and again at the grocery list and supply list Makoto had written and all the things she was carrying for trade. She was pretty sure she'd need to find a way to make up for breaking Makoto's favorite mixing bowl that had had pink roses painted on it.
She still felt bad about that one.
She would tend to walk from Willful Machine back to her home in Cellar Door. So wound up as she was too focused on just getting home or trying not to have a panic attack in public. So she wouldn't always pay attention...
And would then smack into someone else because she keeping her head down and attention on her groceries. In her surprise, she dropped everything everywhere on the ground. She winced as she heard something shatter... again.
"I-I'm so sorry, I didn't see you there," she was quick to crouch down to pick everything up. "Are you hurt?"
D. When everything else is gone [WILDCARD]
((OOC: If you would like to plot something, please don't hesitate to contact me at
CW: Suicidal Ideation
M-My powers are... [She knows that some things are changed. She's very sure if given the chance, she can't tap into her final ability. But she also knows she doesn't need to to be dangerous.]
I would rather die again and again until this month was over rather than hurt someone. [It feels like it would be easier. She becomes smaller, or tries to, at least.] Maybe it would be better if I did if it comes to that.
CW: Suicidal Ideation
I know it- it feels like that's the best solution when things are that bad. I understand feeling like taking yourself completely out of the picture is the...only real way to keep other people safe.
[Or fix your mistakes. He sucks in a breath, staring a hole in the ground. ]
But it's not. It's not easier. And all it'll do is hurt the people you leave behind. It-that wouldn't be better.
no subject
I still... what should I even do?
no subject
[He shifts a little closer, trying everything he can to provide comfort.]
I don't know. But hiding away won't do it, Usagi. It'll just make it worse. Let-let us be with you. Let us support you.
no subject
I... o-okay. [It's all she can manage for the moment, but she's agreeing all the same, relenting.] Thank you for loving me.
no subject
Right back atcha. I'll never stop doing that, Usagi, no matter what. I promise.
no subject
Can we... stay like this for a bit longer? And then... then we can plan whatever we need to? [She didn't want to let go of him or be let go of him just right now.]