deercountry | If I turn into another

Entry tags:

If I turn into another

Who: Usagi Tsukino, people who are bonded with her, and potentially you
What: Usagi is having a mini-meltdown about the Eternal Night
When: First half of April
Where: Usagi's house and then some parts of Cellar Door and Willful Machine

Content Warnings: Past mentions of violence, murder, emotional trauma, past mentions of attempts at genocide

A. Dig me up from under what is covering the better part of me [Closed to those bonded to her]

When it was April 1st and the sun didn't initially rise, Usagi was uneasy but not worried. This was just Trench being its weird Trenchie self.

When the second day came and the sun still had not risen, slowly the memories began to come, unbidden, unyielding, unforgiving and she forced them back and away. It would be okay.

When the third day of it came?

Usagi realized that April might be the new October, and the image of herself, giggling, laughing, bleeding from her crescent moon as she hugged her friends and then killed them, as she went mad and tried to kill everyone, literally, everyone, until Rei ran a sword through her chest-

She panicked.

She locked herself in her room and refused to come out. She locked her windows and closed the blinds as she sat in the corner of her room, knees hugged to her chest.

It's okay, it's okay, it's okay!

She tried to reassure herself.

You won't turn into her, you won't turn into her, you won't turn into her!

She began to shake, trembling and feeling her eyes well up with tears as she hid her face in her knees.

If she stayed right there no one would be hurt, she wouldn't hurt anyone, no one would die.

It was only the third day, it would be okay, it would be fine. She would just stay in here, she wouldn't leave.

Her heartbeat was pounding in her ears and it was hard to breathe, harder to breath.

No, she begged. Please no.

Please, please, please, please.

She can't, not again, not that again. Not her. Not her.

Her margay, Lua, let out soft chirps of concern, trying to nuzzle Usagi's hand to help her feel better, but Usagi didn't even feel it, didn't even notice. Her whole body is trembling and she hugs her knees tighter to her chest and swallows down every sob so no one in the house can hear her.

Unfortunately, Usagi had forgotten that the bonds she had formed were telegraphing everything.

B. Sing this song [Her house - Later in the week]

It was later in the week when Usagi was finally convinced to at least leave her room even if she couldn't be convinced to leave the house. She's jumpy, skittish like an actual rabbit. Every other moment she seems to be looking out the windows only to decide she doesn't want to see, she shuts the curtains of whatever room she's in, and if she's in a room that doesn't have them, she leaves it. The full moon and the endless night is making her blood sing in her body and she immediately hates it when usually such a thing is a comfort because it's her connection to the moon.

So when she hears the doorbell or a knock she practically jumps over the course of her self-induced imprisonment, sometimes even dropping what she's holding and it smashes on the floor or spills all over. She heads over to the door, not opening it. She'll have to clean up the mess in a moment. Her hands are trembling and to stop that, she rests them against the wood of the door.

"W-Who is it?" she calls out. "What do you want?" she tries to hide the fear in her voice but can't.

C. Remind me that we'll always have each other [Around Cellar Door and Willful Machine - Second week of April]

It took constant reassurance, but Usagi has been convinced to at least leave the house for short trips... if only to give her poor kitchenware a break from being broken all the time, or from just breaking something in general in her panic.

After all, as some had pointed out, food was not scarce, no wall of corpses every twelfth hour, people weren't turning into monsters left and right, the water wasn't turned into blood or plants into ash. She was able to sleep a full night's rest without concern, she wasn't sleepwalking, there was a whole list of reasons why this was different. And she was under the moon, not those eyes.

As she walked through Willful Machine, she can softly be heard muttering 'it's okay, it's okay,' as she walks, her hands shaking as she checks again and again at the grocery list and supply list Makoto had written and all the things she was carrying for trade. She was pretty sure she'd need to find a way to make up for breaking Makoto's favorite mixing bowl that had had pink roses painted on it.

She still felt bad about that one.

She would tend to walk from Willful Machine back to her home in Cellar Door. So wound up as she was too focused on just getting home or trying not to have a panic attack in public. So she wouldn't always pay attention...

And would then smack into someone else because she keeping her head down and attention on her groceries. In her surprise, she dropped everything everywhere on the ground. She winced as she heard something shatter... again.

"I-I'm so sorry, I didn't see you there," she was quick to crouch down to pick everything up. "Are you hurt?"

D. When everything else is gone [WILDCARD]
((OOC: If you would like to plot something, please don't hesitate to contact me at

snickersnack or make up your own prompt!

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Cocky bastard!

She'd deal with his notion no one listened to him later. But hey, now Savage got to enjoy one of his brother's favorite games: Usagi Teasing.

She took a deep breath. She will not stomp on his foot. She will NOT stomp on his foot! Not like it'd even HURT, the giant!

"Yes... please," her face was beet red. "I hope when Rampage gets here he steps on your foot!" she couldn't help it.

He leaned over just slightly so he was looking down at her as she puffed up and seemed on the verge of either shoving or kicking him. He couldn't decide which was more likely, and unless she was tapping into her hidden 'secret' power, he doubt he would even step back from either.

"He'd probably break my foot," he remarked without caring. Even for him, Rampage was solid and heavy and those hooves were made for damage.

Speak of the creature now, Rampage had heard the call and come looking for him. The big black draft horse nickered and trotted over, large and definitely in charge. He received a headbutt for greeting, and he pushed the stallion's head away from bowling him over to instead catch sight of Usagi. The stallion stared with one intelligent eye, assessing her.

"She's was even shorter - but not by much - when she gave you apples a few months ago," he told the horse.

Usagi looked up and actually smiled at the horse, having a fond memory of the behemoth of a creature only to immediately scowl and clenched her fist, resisting every urge to kick Savage in the shin... or pinch his cheeks!

Instead, she just takes a deep breath and adjusts her grocery bags.

"It's nice to see you again, Rampage."

Rampage gave a single narrowed eye glared because he wasn't fooled that this was a grown up version, but she had given apples and be slobbered on for it. So the horse swished his tail and then nickered, pricking his ears forward at the greeting.

Savage patted the horse roughly on the neck and gestured with his head for Usagi to come around. "I'll help you up onto his back. Want to try riding him on your own this time?"

She went deep red in the face... again.

"Yes, sure, besides it's not snowing, you don't need to wrap me up in your coat."

"I'm not wearing my coat, so it works out," he pointed out, corner of his lip pulling in a faint sign of amusement.

"You were very tiny, and now you're just small."

"Being turned into a child will do that, Savage."

She took a deep breath as she looked up at the horse. How is it she can FLY but the idea of getting on top of the horse? She looked back to Savage.

"So you gonna help me up or not?" she's tired of being embarrassed about this.

"I've seen dirt mites bigger than you were as a child."

He snorted from his nose and gestured for her to come to Rampage's side where he could boost her up onto the massive horse's back. Rampage gave a swish of the tail and briefly pinned ears back before snorting.

Once she was in arm range, he simply reached out to grasp her firmly and half-tossed, half-lifted her up onto Rampage's back.

"You'll be alright up there on your own?" Do you need Savage up there again?

Usagi had to grip Rampage's mane and took a deep breath after looking down. Geeze, why was this so much scarier than flying?

"I should be fine, I think..." if she sounds unsure, it's because she is.

He nodded his head, not about to insist. He was a firm believer that everyone had to stand (or sit in this case) on their own two feet. Rampage was so big he figured she would have to make an actual effort to fall off.

He took her bag of broken plates and whatever else to carry then began to walk. Rampage followed docilely beside him, though maybe there was one or two nips at his paldrons for the sake of it.

"Did you not have a horse come to you in Deerington?"

She lifted a brow at him as she looked down at him, actually taller in this situation.

"No, can't say that I have. I've never ridden a horse before now," which is a shame all things considered. "Why would a horse come to me?"

Savage kept looking up at her. He knew from experience that Rampage wasn't going to do anything wild and crazy with a new rider on his back. The horse seemed to treat even adults like children in such a situation.

"You'll have trouble falling off of him he's back is so wide." He shrugged his shoulders as he pushed them out into the street like they were a vehicle. "Why not? Rampage came to me, even followed me here."

"Your faith in my abilities to not be a massive klutz is sweet," probably wrong, but sweet.

Usagi lifted a brow trying to parse Savage's logic on why a horse would just COME to her.

"I wasn't aware Rampage was from Deerington. I didn't have a horse follow me, I had a house follow me."

"It's a long way to fall, so you should make an effort to stay up there," he replied dryly. He hadn't seen a lot of her klutziness so far. Okay maybe hints of it on the shopping trips she sometimes forced him on.

"Yes, he helped me cross the desert when there were giant flesh eating worms," he said in a matter-of-fact way. "The house followed my brother; I own very little so wouldn't care if it didn't come." Everything he owned he could carry.

"I don't make an active effort to fall Savage," she's just an absolute klutz who can and does trip over literally nothing. "But I'll try," she sighed as she looked ahead because it was less scary than looking down.

"Do you WANT to own more?"

"Yet you make it sound like you still do." He didn't know many people who would be categorized as a klutz. He didn't think they would survive long on his planet. "Rampage seems to like you, so you should be safe with him." The big stallion was walking nicely after all, and that was basically 'like' in his books.

"I want more credits." He liked the idea of visible wealth more than actual items one could buy with said wealth.

"I do fall, plenty, honestly," she gave a shrug, always rather self-aware of her many shortcomings. "Well, I like him too," she grinned, not daring to pat his side while riding since that would mean moving and she's barely maintaining as it is.

"Credits? Is that the currency you have back home?"

"How do you not break when you fall? You're so tiny and frail looking." And yet surprisingly strong when she latched on to something. She reminded him a bit of the Nightsisters with their thin frames but powerful bearings. They didn't fall of horses though.

"Yes, though raw materials can be worth fortunes as well." Gold. Spice. Precious stones. "But credits are standard across the galaxy."

"Tiny yes, frail no," she shrugged. "I fall often enough that it gets easier and easier to get back up and recover quickly..." also she's being perpetually healed by her crystal even in civilian form, though not as quickly as when she was Sailor Moon or Serenity.

"Well, they're standard in YOUR galaxy, pretty sure they're worthless here."

"Most kits learn to stop following frequently when young, unless they have a head injury." Do you have a head injury, Usagi? She seemed enthusiastic and skilled enough to not have one, so perhaps there was a coordination issue. Could it be taught to be overcome? He'd have to force his brother to do that because he wasn't going to suggest it.

"I expect your world's currency is also worthless. Wealth seems far more measured in power and blood."

"Mnn, power I have," he would know, he's seen it. She lifts up her hand and looks at her wrist, the vein that she can see just beneath the skin.

"Blood... I've shed that plenty. So perhaps it's the willingness that changes everything. But I can tell you, power is not what people keep making it out to be."

"Yes, you do." Her power blazed off of her no matter the situation, like a beacon of light in darkness. Even now with her on Rampage and his back mostly turned, he was keenly aware of the Force shining off of her. "But if you do little with your power, it is meaningless."

He shook his horned head, scratching Rampage under the horse's chin as they walked. "Power enables change for better or worse. Power and bloodlines."

She gave an idle shrug. Usagi never ACTIVELY sought out anyone or anything to become stronger. Quite the opposite, people sought out HERS and she protected herself or they sought to take over her planet and she protected it.

"What something 'means' depends on every person. You may find no meaning in a painting and another person could have their life changed by it, it does not change the importance of the painting. What you do with power is the same. If I decided to grow a rose bush in the middle of the street, that could mean something to someone and mean nothing to another. Everything has meaning, it just means different things to different people. As for change, change happens regardless of power, power doesn't even mean you get to have a hand in the decisions of that change."

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If I turn into another

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