deercountry | (closed)

...why not?

[ It's a fair question, Mako thinks, asked quietly because he knows how hard those decisions were. He knows how much Wu wanted to stay and start a new life, and the agonizing he went through to decide that only to have the option to go home presented after all. It was hard enough for them, and they hadn't been there as long as Lance. It must have been a hundred times harder for him. ]

[He purses his lips together, but the regret that's on his face is more grief-like and complicated. Like he felt pulled apart by forces out of his control.]

I made a promise to a girl I love. [He smiles weakly and rubs at the back of his neck as he realizes the way that sounds.] We weren't together, she was just special. And I... couldn't leave without her.

[ It's always something like that, isn't it? It's always people making complicated bonds, gluing each other in place through force of will. Mako knows he's caught up helplessly in the orbit of his friends, of Wu. That whatever decision they make, no matter what he advises, he'll go along with and try to help.

Reaching down, he pulls up some of the dirt, letting it sift back through his fingers into a neat pile. ]

A girl from the dream, you mean?

I don't know if anyone had an easy time. Shiro's feeling pretty weird about his choices, too.

[Lance nods, watching the dirt Mako just disturbed. He knows he can likely understand.]

Yeah, Chloe. She was friends with like everyone so you probably knew her too. [He looks up and to the side and holds his chin as he thinks back.] Hm, yep. I remember seeing you guys talk on the network once or twice.

[Then he sighs and nods again.] I can tell but he doesn't like to open up to me too much these days.

[It… actually bothers him a little.]

[ Chloe.

Of course. The person Lance thought he—she, the other Lance—grew up with, the person who glued so much of Deerington together, who cracked Mako open in a few words and stuck herself into the fractures and stayed there in just a few short months.

Mako looks away from the flare of complicated feelings balled up together like twine, over at the edge of the little yard to where it collides with cobblestone.

It's too hard to talk about Chloe to someone who probably knew her better. ]

Yeah.

[ A short word, bursting with unintentional feeling. ]

I knew her.

I, uh. Wouldn't worry too much about Shiro. I mean, I would, but I think I get why he's doing it.

[Empathic powers means that Mako can't really hide his gut reaction to Chloe's name from Lance. And Lance for one is still rather unsure and uncomfortable with how much he can read off of people. It's not a ton, mostly only feelings that rise to the surface, but it feels like he's spying and he can't turn it off.

Normally, he probably wouldn't say anything and allow Mako whatever privacy he can give him. But considering the subject at hand, he can't help but look at Mako with a gentle probing look, sad and empathetic. Literally.]

Mako… you didn't just know her. She was important to you too. [Stated like fact, because he knows it is, but his tone is careful, understanding. Then he rubs at the side of his neck looking off to the side.] I think I do too. It's just kind of… I dunno.

[He shakes his head a little indicating he's not sure how to explain it or if he should.]

[ Mako lets out a sharp little breath like he's been punched, or, really, like he's been caught. His eyes dart up to meet Lance's for a moment, and his mouth twists, words crowding up behind his teeth.

She was my best friend and I miss her and I made her a promise too, but Mako can't say any of those things because Lance knew her for longer and he still can't bring himself to do anything except update her notes. She would hate being treated like a precious, distant thing, but Mako is shifting and changing before his own eyes. Before, he sealed his losses from himself, kept them locked away behind facts and cynicism. Easier to deal with the magnitude of everything he didn't have if he just made himself swallow around it, accept the facts of life as it was, and act anyway.

Letting himself feel is a terrifying thing, but the floodgates have opened. ]

...yeah.

[ All those words, compressed into one. Mako's feelings are rolling off him in waves, practically. ]

[Hoo boy, his ability isn't that strong nor does he have much control over it to pick up on every little thing Mako feels, but he gets the gist. Mako is suddenly feeling a lot and he's not good at feelings in a way Lance is familiar with. He looks up over at the street, Cellar Door is not as bustling as Willful Machine, especially this far northeast in the district, but it's got enough people milling about that he'd definitely feel exposed in a moment like this.

And Mako is a guy who needs to do things, that much he's figured out. A man of action unused to just sitting in his feelings. So Lance decides to give him something to do away from the exposure of the outside. He reaches out to lightly take Mako's wrist and tug a bit.] Come on, help me brush down Bob in the barn.

[He heads over to the massive horse tied up nearby and unties the thick rope attached to his harness from the post. Then he hands the rope to Mako so he can go over and open the barn doors.]

[ Mako shoots Lance a look that borders on absurdly grateful as he accepts the rope. Being around massive livestock isn't exactly normal for him, but he's spent enough time on Air Temple Island that he just sort of glances at Bob and settles the rope more firmly in his hand.

They're not exactly exposed out here, but there are people passing every now and then. He can't talk about Chloe like that, where anyone could hear the inevitable crack in his voice.

Leading Bob is a bit of a different story. Once Lance has the doors open, Mako looks at the horse again, wondering. ]

You... want to get brushed?

[ Asking the horse is the way to do this, right? He punctuates his question with a quick tug of the rope. ]

[Now that he has the doors open, Lance looks over at Mako talking to Bob and smirks in amusement, crossing his arms. But he doesn't say anything, he talks to the animals all the time, it's just funny how Mako does it like he's genuinely asking. He catches Bob's eye standing behind Mako and out of sight and then gestures with his hand up and down while nodding his head. Bob mirrors the motion, making it look like he's nodding to the question.]

I think he likes you. C'mon, just start walking and he'll follow. He's Shiro's horse, so just think of him as a gentle giant.

[The nod may have been something he helped along, but he can tell from Bob's stance and ears that he does actually like Mako. Once they start moving into the barn, the big horse follows easily. There's a cow in one stall and two more horses in two other stalls. At the far end of the barn where there's another large doorway open to some land is a massive white direwolf sitting guard outside.]

Edited 2021-11-17 23:34 (UTC)

[ It's not like having animals understand him is unusual—Pabu and Naga are way too smart for their own good, and Fritter's had this weird half-sentience since she was born—so Mako takes the nod entirely in stride, actually smiles a little as the horse nods.

Aand then Lance speaks and Mako realizes he has an audience and goes stiff all over again, coughing as his cheeks flush blue. ]

Uh—yeah. He's... definitely giant.

[ He does follow easily, though, so that's nice. Mako isn't exactly skittish around all these large animals but he is entirely too aware of his own footsteps and the sounds they make, all of their combined breath and the strong horse-y smell in here. He leads Bob a little ways in and then pokes his head around the massive horse to look at Lance. ]

There a step-stool for this or something?

[Lance just closed the doors behind them and is busy hooking up ropes to Bob's hackamore to get him ready for some grooming. Then he looks over to Mako around the massive horse then snorts with a smlight grin.]

Yeah. I'll go grab everything we need, one sec.

[While he goes to do that, Lance's tall, sleek brown horse pokes its head out of its stall nearby to snort into Mako's hair… and then start to eat it.]

[ It takes Mako a moment to even notice, distracted as he is by the smell in here and the massiveness of the horse beside him, the hay and dirt floating in the air and settling into his hair, which is being— ]

Auh—

[ Jerking his head away, Mako turns to huff at the slimmer horse, narrowing his eyes. ]

What part of my head looks like dinner to you?

[Lance comes back to the scene with the stool and other tools in his arms and laughs, smirking at Mako.]

Nice cow-lick, Mako. Or, horse-lick? Whatever, it really suits you. [He shrugs and comes over, plopping the items down on the floor and then reaching up to pat his horse's nose.] He thinks so too.

Maybe I'll just start styling my hair like this.

[ He absolutely will not.

But all of this is easier than thinking about Chloe, even if Mako doesn't recognize most of the tools Lance brought over. He edges away from the horse, coming to hover by him instead, awkward and out-of-place in this barn. ]

There a special... horse-brush or something?

[Lance pulls out his Omni and snaps a picture of Mako and his hair, then grins and says in a teasing airy tone:]

Well if you don't, I've immortalized it.

[It's what Chloe would want, and definitely what she would also do. Then he reaches down to the tools and pulls out a large soft brush and hands it and the stool to Mako.]

Just brush with the direction his hair grows, like this- [He demonstrates with his own brush along Bob's neck. Then goes to grab totally different tools.] And while you do that, I'm gonna pick dirt out of his hooves.

[ As soon as he sees the Omni level in front of him Mako's eyes go wide, and a second later he's trying—and failing—to lean around the bulk of the horse to stop but NOPE, picture taken.

Instead he just sort of flails, rights himself, and accepts the stool and the brush with a very sulky kind of huff. ]

Remind me why we're friends?

[ ...he does set the stool down, though, so he can step up onto it with brush in hand. Lance made it look easy. He's brushed Naga before, massive thing that she is. This... can't be harder. And Bob doesn't have giant polar bear dog teeth.

Slowly, Mako reaches up, watching Bob carefully. He hovers with the brush for a moment, then lowers it and drags it along Bob's massive flank.

So far so good! ]

[Lance grins mischievously and tucks his omni safely away.]

Because you love my sparkling personality~

[And he watches Mako get started on brushing Bob for a moment before heading over to pick up the horse's front leg nearby and start picking mud out of his hoof. The horse is probably the chillest in the universe and just placidly stands there as they groom him. After a moment, Lance eases back to where they started.]

Y'know. Chloe and I used to film memes on our fluids. How much you wanna bet she'd have five meme ideas ready to go the moment she saw the picture I just took of your new horse lick? [There's a pained and sorrowful edge to his voice, but it's also nice to remember the good stuff]

She'd have at least seven.

[ Mako says it without even thinking, snorting quietly as he drags the brush carefully along Bob's back. Chloe would've probably given him a new nickname or something on top of it all, called him that forever just to annoy him.

It's easy to see, after a second, what Lance is doing. Mako brushes at a bit of dirt, glad the bulk of Bob's body hides his face for the most part. It hurts to think about her, and it shouldn't, because it isn't like Mako hasn't lost people over and over again. ]

And she'd probably send them one by one over a week or something. Just to be annoying.

[Lance chuckles lightly as he continues to pick mud and debris out of the massive hoof. He locates a pebble caught in Bob's shoe and his tongue sticks out the side of his mouth as he works at dislodging it.

When Chloe disappeared from Deerington, he was still dealing with losing Keith, and around that time is… when he started dying more frequently. That's not a coincidence, though he'd certainly say it was. A lot of other terrible things were happening as well, as that's how it goes in Deerington, and he just… shut down. Lost the will to feel or move forward or fight as hard. And he hasn't fully connected with those feelings since, which makes this subject easier for him in a way.

He dislodges the pebble finally and lets out a breath, putting Bob's foot down and then moving to the next.] Memes were her love language, man. She gave me this Pepe painting for Christmas… or was it my birthday? Anyway, I've got it up in the loft, along with all the other meme gifts she put together over the years. So if she was sending you memes that often, you might as well tattoo your forehead with 'Chloe Approved'.

That's a pretty hard tattoo to get.

[ Mako stops brushing, trying not to think about that stupid kitchen or their talk in the library or any of the hundreds of memes she sent him. It's stupid to get choked up over jokes, so he isn't going to do it. ]

You and Chloe were... really close. Right?

[Lance shrugs about the tattoo. It could be henna for a prank, that might be funny. But his thoughts on that are interrupted when Mako asks him that. It feels like there's a shift of some kind, and he picks out the last of the mud on the hoof in his hands and stands to look over at Mako with a quizzical brow raised.]

Yeah, you could say that. Why?

[ You could say that. Mako drags the brush over the bulk of Bob's flank, staring down at the fur. ]

Do you think she'd hate this? Getting all sentimental about her?

[Well, that has him delving a bit deeper into some thoughts and feelings he'd locked away for a long time. Not enough to get him falling apart, but enough to give him pause.]

She'd act like she hates it. But… [He shakes his head as his voice dips momentarily when he thinks about what she went "home" to. Grief grips his chest and his voice goes quieter.] She'd secretly love it…

...yeah.

[ Mako's voice is barely above a breath. ]

I miss her.

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