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deercountry2022-06-19 08:01 pm
swellter) wrote in deercountry2022-06-19 08:01 pm
Entry tags:
Alone
Who: Shouto and Allen + Dabi
What: June Event Prompt One. A few hours after THIS.
When: June 8th.
Where: The Farther Shores a mile away from the cherry blossom tree.
What: June Event Prompt One. A few hours after THIS.
When: June 8th.
Where: The Farther Shores a mile away from the cherry blossom tree.
“Alone”
BY EDGAR ALLAN POEThe nightmares started in April with the death of a friend.
Lying in a pool of Paleblood, clinging to the dying, the first seeds of corruption sank their teeth into his heart spreading doubt and fear. His brother's warm presence that first night kept him from spiraling to that end that forms every Beast in Trench. The next day, it was Amaterasu's guardian sapling that kept his nightmares at bay. He slept under the tranquil aura of the cherry blossom while he waited for his friend's return. For a week, it's calming influence kept his corruption levels low. Afterwards, it was Allen's kind and radiant presence in his home that maintained the sapling's work. It was only after Allen moved into Sancturary and Shouto returned to active duty with the Hunters that his levels started to rise. His omen kept strict watch on his levels waging war every time corruption started to spread, sending him back to the guardian sapling when his levels rose.
It usually happened late at night when his dreams turned against him, and he woke up in a frozen room with his heart beating frantically in his chest. He clung to Kizu those nights, burying his face into the snow leopards winter coat, finding solace in the cold. Ice crept past his sheets those mornings, covering both Sleeper and omen in a layer of frost. Yet, he managed to keep himself together. Foregoing sleep for more shifts with the Hunters until exhaustion forced him into a dreamless sleep after a few days.
Keeping his corruption to manageble levels was easier in the presence of his friends. His deep connection with them, kept the dark thoughts from finding purchase in his mind. Maybe that's why he spent so much time with them that second month after Allen's death. Accepting their invitations more readily, joining them for dinner, walking them home, going to parties. Their presence gave him a safe heaven, a place where dark thoughts didn't press on his mind, a respite from the nightmares. So, he slept, taking naps at every turn. Somehow, he managed to keep his corruption levels from spiraling out of control up until June when the demon arrived.
Prime for a takevoer, the demon found him in the midst of another nightmare and latched onto him the first day with Kizu nonethe wiser. It fed on him, plagued his every dream until his body couldn't keep up anymore and he stopped patrolling altogether on day five too tired to complete his rounds. Scrapes and bruises started appearing on his skin on day seven, and on day eight it sent him into a nightmare so frantic he lost control of his quirk, burning his surroundings. Terror set in then, afraid of himself unaware of his rising corruption levels. With the demon clinging to his back, his thoughts turned dark too quickly. Afraid, Shouto sought out his friends and found Allen's network post from a few weeks ago and he replied in search of a familiar face.
A hero agency.
The concept reminded him so much of home it eased some of the terror from his heart. Already feeling a little better, Shouto couldn't help but respond to ask him about his plans, offer his help. It'd give him an excuse to see him in person instead of conversing through the omini as they usually did these days, but the conversation turned sour when the Hunters were mentioned.
Dark thoughts crept into his mind so quickly, spreading like a disease. The demon was fully grown and it's influence more acute. Well fed, it was bigger than him now. The demon dug its claws into him, influencing his thoughts, turning them against him when the omen interfered but it was too late. It had grown too strong, held far too much influence and plunges him into a nightmare long before he reaches the guardian sapling.
When Allen arrives at the cherry blossom tree on the Farther shores, he'll find it empty. If he looks around, he might find a strange sight about a mile away. Upon inspection, he'll come across a glacier jutting out of the black sands, three stories high, and at it's center - at the level of the sand - lies an unmoving figure distorted by ice.
Shouto lies sleeping on the black sands, covered in frost, within an open space at the center of the glacier, cut off from the world. The demon clings to him, feeding readily while the carbon dioxide levels slowly increase.
From childhood’s hour I have not been
As others were—I have not seen
As others saw—I could not bring
My passions from a common spring—
From the same source I have not taken
My sorrow—I could not awaken
My heart to joy at the same tone—
And all I lov’d—I lov’d alone—
Then—in my childhood—in the dawn
Of a most stormy life—was drawn
From ev’ry depth of good and ill
The mystery which binds me still—
From the torrent, or the fountain—
From the red cliff of the mountain—
From the sun that ’round me roll’d
In its autumn tint of gold—
From the lightning in the sky
As it pass’d me flying by—
From the thunder, and the storm—
And the cloud that took the form
(When the rest of Heaven was blue)
Of a demon in my view—
Lying in a pool of Paleblood, clinging to the dying, the first seeds of corruption sank their teeth into his heart spreading doubt and fear. His brother's warm presence that first night kept him from spiraling to that end that forms every Beast in Trench. The next day, it was Amaterasu's guardian sapling that kept his nightmares at bay. He slept under the tranquil aura of the cherry blossom while he waited for his friend's return. For a week, it's calming influence kept his corruption levels low. Afterwards, it was Allen's kind and radiant presence in his home that maintained the sapling's work. It was only after Allen moved into Sancturary and Shouto returned to active duty with the Hunters that his levels started to rise. His omen kept strict watch on his levels waging war every time corruption started to spread, sending him back to the guardian sapling when his levels rose.
It usually happened late at night when his dreams turned against him, and he woke up in a frozen room with his heart beating frantically in his chest. He clung to Kizu those nights, burying his face into the snow leopards winter coat, finding solace in the cold. Ice crept past his sheets those mornings, covering both Sleeper and omen in a layer of frost. Yet, he managed to keep himself together. Foregoing sleep for more shifts with the Hunters until exhaustion forced him into a dreamless sleep after a few days.
Keeping his corruption to manageble levels was easier in the presence of his friends. His deep connection with them, kept the dark thoughts from finding purchase in his mind. Maybe that's why he spent so much time with them that second month after Allen's death. Accepting their invitations more readily, joining them for dinner, walking them home, going to parties. Their presence gave him a safe heaven, a place where dark thoughts didn't press on his mind, a respite from the nightmares. So, he slept, taking naps at every turn. Somehow, he managed to keep his corruption levels from spiraling out of control up until June when the demon arrived.
Prime for a takevoer, the demon found him in the midst of another nightmare and latched onto him the first day with Kizu nonethe wiser. It fed on him, plagued his every dream until his body couldn't keep up anymore and he stopped patrolling altogether on day five too tired to complete his rounds. Scrapes and bruises started appearing on his skin on day seven, and on day eight it sent him into a nightmare so frantic he lost control of his quirk, burning his surroundings. Terror set in then, afraid of himself unaware of his rising corruption levels. With the demon clinging to his back, his thoughts turned dark too quickly. Afraid, Shouto sought out his friends and found Allen's network post from a few weeks ago and he replied in search of a familiar face.
A hero agency.
The concept reminded him so much of home it eased some of the terror from his heart. Already feeling a little better, Shouto couldn't help but respond to ask him about his plans, offer his help. It'd give him an excuse to see him in person instead of conversing through the omini as they usually did these days, but the conversation turned sour when the Hunters were mentioned.
Dark thoughts crept into his mind so quickly, spreading like a disease. The demon was fully grown and it's influence more acute. Well fed, it was bigger than him now. The demon dug its claws into him, influencing his thoughts, turning them against him when the omen interfered but it was too late. It had grown too strong, held far too much influence and plunges him into a nightmare long before he reaches the guardian sapling.
When Allen arrives at the cherry blossom tree on the Farther shores, he'll find it empty. If he looks around, he might find a strange sight about a mile away. Upon inspection, he'll come across a glacier jutting out of the black sands, three stories high, and at it's center - at the level of the sand - lies an unmoving figure distorted by ice.
Shouto lies sleeping on the black sands, covered in frost, within an open space at the center of the glacier, cut off from the world. The demon clings to him, feeding readily while the carbon dioxide levels slowly increase.
If the ice clown shoe fits... I guess we found our winner. Always knew you were the best Clown!
The screams spur him into action, and he struggles against the gentle hold of those wings, needing to stop them before they burn down everything. Every childhood memory embedded in this place created the foundation of his soul. His fear crystallizes in his omen, who personifies the very ice he always leaned on and halts the destruction while protecting his father and brother, immortalizing them in ice.
Eyes wide, fearful. Shouto hears Kizuās words recognizing them for what they are - a goodbye. Before he can act, her blood sprays in the air, destroying a part of him so vital it's impossible not to go to her even if he knows the demon is waiting there for him. ]
Kizu!
[ Allen grabs him, and he struggles against him, failing to break free. Uncoordinated, struggling to breathe, his tears blur his vision. He can't even see her light as it dims, feeling like heās losing a part of himself.
You canāt! Allenās voice.
You canāt even take care of your demon. How can you even call yourself a hero?!... Take responsibility, Shouto!]
What are you afraid of?!
[ His father's disembodied voice is given life by his subconscious, echoing through the dark corridor, halting his struggles. It draws his mind away from the grief threatening to break him down and despite the growing pool of blood, he knows this is important. What was he... He looks at Kizu's dimming light. ]
... Losing anyone else.
Ya finally decided to face me! [ Touya's voice this time, and Shouto looks around, holding onto Allen, no longer struggling against him but taking comfort in his presence. ]
I don't-- I don't want to lose anyone else!
[ He pleads, voice hoarse as he admits what he's been holding back ever since finding Touya in that field of blue and held onto Allen's dying form. He tuns his head to look at him, fingers squeezing his hand. ]
I don't want to lose you.
[ A rushing sound, like a blizzard raging in the mountain. A wave of power, like an erupting volcano spewing its contents into the world. Fire and ice sill from his form. Scorching his left side, freezing his right. Skin unburnt by frost or flame contains the inferno of his quirk, and a wall of ice and fire blasts forward, driving the demon back. It shrieks with hate hitting the back wall of the corridor held there by raw power.
Shouto blasts himself to Kizu's side, dropping down to his knees to pick up her great form. Blood streams down his arm, but she's still with him. Still holding on and that alone drives him forward. A door slams open and a younger version of him steps through the door. ]
Through here!
[ He insists, calling them over, his mismatched eyes quickly looking where his older self trapped the demon with his ice and fire. Shouto doesn't question himself and carries Kizu inside even as he hears the ice crack and the demon let out a bellow of hate. ]
Close the door!
[ He tells Allen as he sets Kizu on the ground to help him keep the demon at bay. He uses his ice again, reinforcing the door as something powerful slams against it rattling the hinges. ]
We need to hide her!
[ He tells his younger self who quickly nods and tries to pull the large snow leopard into the room. The moment he touches her, her form grows smaller, and the light concentrates, growing brighter. His younger self lets go long enough to see her stop transforming before grabbing her bulk - still too much for him - as the door gets blown off its hinges, and the demon is there at the door, its beady red eyes staring straight through the ice at its prize. ]
Help him!
[ He tells Allen, as he slams his hands on the ice, now the only thing blocking entrance into the room, and shoots off another wave of ice that the demon physically breaks through with raw power, but so long as Shouto keeps generating the ice it can't move forward, only keep its placement. ]
This way! [ His younger self grabs Allenās hand to help him move the juvenile snow leopard. ] Sheāll be safe here. [ He points to the futon, where a moving form moves under a blanket. ]
It's scared of me like this because I can't control my power.
[ He pulls the blanket, revealing the baby from before. It stares at them bluntly with a little pout on his mouth, his tiny feet kicking out once or twice, disturbed by the loud noise.
Outside, another loud hit of the gong reverberates through the castle, and the demon crushes the ice faster than Shouto can generate it. It gains on him, breaking through even as Shouto grows numb from the ice. It reaches for him, the ice no longer stopping him. His palpable fear as it grabs his collar and drags him forward spurs the baby into tears, and he wails his little lungs out. Tiny fists hit the futon, rocking the foundation of the castle. Cracks form in the bedrock, spreading with every fist that hits the soft futon, carried to every corner of the house by little cries of power. Moonlight streams in from every crack, driving the demon back when a soft moonbeam hits its arm, burning it to ash.
Shouto scrambles back as the world goes silent. Moonlight streams through the room, bathing the baby in light, calming him down. He fusses, reaches for Kizu, and when its tiny hand touches Kizu, she transforms a second time into a small cub no more than two feet long. Immediately the baby latches onto her, holding on tightly while her wounds heal in the moonlight. Swallowing his fear, Shouto adds another layer of ice to the door before joining them, watching Kizu held tightly within her sleeping protector's small arms. The baby makes little noises, pleased by the new addition. ]
She'll be safe here. [ His five-year-old self tells them. ] I'll watch over them.
[ Shouto watches the scene, a great sense of relief filling his limbs. Kizu's light is bright now, no longer bleeding. He can feel her still. No longer a fluttering echo, but steady. ]
You take care of her. [ He tells his younger self, who nods quietly. His small arms settle between his legs as he looks at the two older ones. ]
How do we get out of here?
Find the blue flower. It's the only way out.
[ Shouto leans down and hugs his younger self, who immediately melts into the hug, his small hands gripping his vest. ] Please make them stop.
[ Whether he's talking about the demon, his father, or Touya is anyone's guess, but Shouto nods nonetheless. ] I will. I promise.
[ He turns to the sleeping baby, who now has a frozen snot bubble coming out of the right side of his nose. The scene somehow breaks the tension in the room, rekindling the hope he'd lost. It burns softly in his heart where Kizu used to be, and he leans down to kiss the top of their heads. Their noses wrinkle in unison, and a little pout pulls at the baby's mouth as it grabs onto the little snow leopard a little more tightly. ]
Itās my turn to protect you. You rest here as long as you need.
[ He tells the sleeping cub that glows intensely in the moonlight. He grabs Allen's hand then and pulls him to the door leaving his omen in the care of his younger self. ]
Sorry for dragging you into this.
[ He says as he starts melting a hole in the ice to let them pass. He'll refreeze it when they're through and push through the corridor now gleaming with beams of moonlight from the cracks in the castle. ]
</3 </3 </3 all his debts are now yours, congratulations
A foolish misunderstanding maybe, but.
He stills a little when he hears that booming voice echo again, what are you afraid of, and notices how Shouto still too. Grip loosening a little as he realizes that's something important and there's a shift in his demeanor. Because, "losing anyone..."
If there's anything Shouto could have said for Allen to get it and not want to stand in his way, it's that. He's a little stunned by it, even if none of that is exactly surprising, and his expression delicate. Even moreso when he continues on and reaffirms it a different way, saying "I don't want to lose you."
He stares, legitimately surprised that time, and briefly forgetting the situation until realizing Shouto is squeezing his hand and he clutches his own in return with a crystalline, delicate but somewhat distraught expression. Something important just happened, he recognizes that even before sensing the power building up in the other. He blinks. The heart. Power is recognized and shaped by the heart, by its decisions--
He lets go and steps back as Shouto's powers roar back to life. No, more than that, as he hasn't seen him use both fire and ice at the same time before and it has him briefly throw his hands up in front of his face as a shield. Blinking at its effect; the demon, a beast, thrown back that easily...
Shouto goes to Kizu and while Allen braces to go after the demon, his younger self also appears again, prompting a surprised look from him. Both of them in existence at the same time? He doesn't question it though, hearing the demon bellow, and holds the door open for him as he carries Kizu through. ] Hurry!
[ He does as he's directed as the conflict wears on, slamming the door shut behind them until he needs to help carry Kizu to the futon (she's still alive? she is an omen, but--). The same futon, where he's shocked again to be confronted by yet another Shouto, the baby he first discovered. Three... there are three Shoutos?
It's a little surreal for him. He can't even begin to process it or anything else that's going on, what any of it means, and won't until much later. He feels naked without his left arm being able to properly form too, even if he's stood and is ready to fight when it seems to be breaking through, and when it does and grabs Shouto by the collar he doesn't really care and lunges forward too with an angry cry, a kamikaze whirl of molted shards of light-- ]
...! [ The baby Shouto, thumping its fists like a gong of its own that cracks the very world around them apart-- even Allen stumbles, losing his footing for a moment as moonlight pierces through and washes the room in a bright silvery glow. The demon (the beast), it hurts it as well--
He stares, first at Shouto who seems fine if rattled now and where the demon had been, to the child and now-baby leopard cuddling in the futon, and then down to his own hands. His left-- it's knitting back into a more proper shape in the moonlight. The black and white it should be in this state, and the restless and ragged wings wrapping down form his shoulders start to coalesce back into Crown Clown's normal shape and his cloak. It always repairs itself on its own, his Innocence, but this doesn't feel like that. More like the moonlight and the child too...
He looks back up as Shouto leans over and kisses the two sleeping infants, one human and one animal, blinking for a moment and staring outright. Such a tender scene, but... so very strange too as it's also himself. He blinks, caught, attempting to process that for a moment before realizing no, it's not something he can process right now, and Shouto moves to take his hand. He squeezes it in return, but it's distracted. His response to that apology, however, is not. ]
I want to be here. [ So don't you dare try to brush him aside or say this is all on you. He knows what that's like. And... he feels like this is also partially his fault.
He says it so very gently though, soft and like his thoughts are elsewhere. Paying attention still though; he doesn't think the demon was vanquished that easily as they're still here, and he's listening with his eye for anything that might signal its reappearance.
He's not letting go, lacing his once again Innocence-gloved fingers with Shouto's and helping pull him along too as much as he is also pulled as they run down the hall. Squeezing tighter for a moment, demeanor somber but gentle. ]
Why is the flower so important...? [ You'd reacted before too, when you first saw it. ]
Debts are easier to handle than family issues. He'll just turn to modeling~
Shouto apologizes to him while he leads them through the corridors, but Allen's quick response without an ounce of hesitation derails his thoughts, and he slows down, stopping under a moonbeam. It warms him to have someone on his side who can face the mess his family has made of itself and still want to help him. He brings Allen into the light where they're safe, so he can give an honest answer without feeling rushed. ]
I want you here too.
I donāt think I could have brought anyone else.
[ Not without having to explain so much about his past. As for the flower, Shouto thinks he deserves an answer, even if he doesnāt fully understand it himself. ]
Itās my motherās favorite flower, Rindou. I read about them to try and get to know her better and I think the meaning stuck with me.
I love you who are sad.
Grieving your love.
Lonely affection.
The meaning comes from how it grows alone, separate from other flowers.
[ Just like him, growing up away from his siblings. Loving them, yet being sad because he couldn't be with them, separated from them, growing up alone. ]
There are other meanings too. Justice, sincerity, intrinsic worth. Valuing someone for their own sake not for their objective worth.
[ All of which describe him fairly accurately. Then there's the fact that he dislikes being noted for his quirk, lineage, or worth as a hero instead of simply Shouto. Thereās a reason why he chose his hero name as Shouto instead of a flashy name that described his abilities. He doesnāt want to be known for his quirk anymore than he wants to be known as Endeavorās son. He wants to be seen for himself. To be valued for himself. ]
Thatās all I know.
[ He tells him, taking a moment to take a quick assessment of his state. He turns his hand over in his and brings his Innocence-gloved hand up to the light, examining it. ]
Did it heal?
modeling... /stares at stripper Allen, which is in fact omake canon re: his debts
He blinks, posturing loosening and not so wary, and glances down at their hands for a moment before stepping closer and squeezing a little tighter as he talks about the flower. That... it sounds like you. But while that meaning is poetic, yes... but he thinks, didn't you maybe gloss by the more important part? They were your mother's favorite. She protected you and you wanted to protect her. He can barely take in everything properly and will have to think about it later as it comes, having realized that this nightmare was your childhood and not just some fabricated horror, but that much was so obvious. She had to have been the female voice he heard. So if it was her flower and she was so important to you, like Mana had been to Allen...
He breathes out, watching as Shouto turns his fully-gloved hand over to inspect it before Allen lifts his left up to glance at it again, in its activated claw form and no longer looking shattered and fragmenting apart or wild and feathered. He flexes the long claws for a moment. ]
It did when the moonlight came back. [ When it came back feeling stronger than before, more pure. His whole cloak glows more blindingly silver-y white under it too, seeming to absorb and reflect the moonlight back. But his attention to himself is fleeting and cursory, eyes sliding back to Shouto and how his attention is on his hand -- and he lifts it up slightly. His right hand, tugging gently free to rest his palm against the other's cheek lightly. Cool-warm from the divine energy woven into light that's taken tangible form.]
Before... I'm sorry too. I left you alone without realizing you were going through this.
[ He hesitates, fingers brushing lightly against his temple along the outline of his scar. ]
If I'd known... I wouldn't have. [ But he should have known, and then maybe things would have been different.
He hesitates for a long moment, expression so very soft and somber yet hard to read; shoulders back, posture held in a delicate elegance and curved like his claws before he speaks again. ]
...What room here would be your mother's? [ Because, if there's anywhere that would be the destination, a safe harbor... ]
For that flower.
Modeling like commercials! Not stripping! Allen! Your debts aren't that bad!!
You didn't leave me. [ He meets his eyes, temple furrowing when his fingers pass over it, disliking that implication. ] We kept in contact.
What happened wasn't your fault, and it wasn't mine. Just because someone's vulnerable doesn't give anyone the right to attack them.
I'm not infallible, Allen. [ Dual-toned eyes shine with confidence as he tightens his hold on his left hand, the unbreakable one. ] And neither are you.
I'll be there when you break. [ Waiting beneath the cherry blossoms, if need be. ] Like you're here for me now. That's what it means to cherish someone.
[ Said firmly, without question. A given, simply put. He may not know the indelicacies of conversation. May falter finding the right words to describe what he feels, but he finds them now, and they ring true even when plucked from the air without the grace of tact.
Allen hesitates, and Shouto waits for him to find the words he's searching for when he brings up his mother's room. He blinks, caught off guard by the shift in conversation. His thoughts shift abruptly too. Years of training make the transition seamless. Already praising Allen's simple yet elegant logic. I should have thought of that. No matter. It's the best bet they have. ]
This way.
[ They leave the light and head down the corridor with a monster in hot pursuit. Not the demon but one of its nightmares. It clings to the walls, running after them. Its tongue snatches his foot, and he burns it off before he's dropped to the ground. ]
Go ahead of me, I need to use my fire!
[ He warns Allen as he swings an arm back and sends a fireball that leaves the hallway ablaze with shrieks of pain. At least he can see them now, a curse more than a blessing. They run past several doors where his childhood memories are safely stored until Shouto spots a familiar set of shoji doors and points them out to Allen. 'There!' He lets Allen open them and runs inside after him, thrusting out another fireball before switching to ice to block the entrance. The nightmares strike the glacier but don't stop there. The ceiling starts to shake, and a slick tongue grabs him by the arm dragging him up. He instantly freezes it in place without holding back and breaks off his hand from its tongue, dropping back down onto the tatami mats. The creature shatters instantly, shards of frozen flesh dropping to the ground. ]
Check if it's here.
[ He tells Allen as he slams his foot down and starts generating ice at a rapid pace to force the nightmares back. More keep hitting the ice, vanishing in the dark to attack from another angle. Soon, more follow the first creature's example and invade the ceiling. He freezes it in place, keeping them out, but soon they'll start coming from the floorboards, but he can't destroy the contents of the room without finding the flower first. ]
Found anything?
[ On the windowsill lies a simple vase with two blue rindou (aka autumn bellflowers) quietly displayed; one for each of them. ]
1/2 :) :) :) not that bad, you say...
That's what it means to cherish someone. He blinks, so utterly flummoxed for a moment that even the guilt drops straight off him and just leaves him looking caught. Can't even find the words for an answer, only his breath that comes out as a stunned little puff. You... just going ahead and saying something like that--
...Honestly. He just laughs a little sheepishly; helplessly. Fondly. Some weird mix of relief and happiness that bubbles up because really, you just hauled off and said something like that here (is this what his own medicine tastes like?) with the first actual smile he's had since this whole ordeal started. But I want to have this conversation later, not here, and it's why he asks about his mother. He just gives a nod then, still with a faint ghost of a smile, before following Shouto when he says 'this way.' ]
Mn. [ It's certain; refreshed. ]
I want to go home together.
2/2
Going ahead goes against every instinct he has which says to stand and fight, but he himself said it before that it would be bad to do that here where it seems like they can just spawn infinitely from the darkness. He's the one better equipped to fight creatures of darkness after all, but this hallway isn't ideal for him to do much more than make a last stand in so he grimaces hard and obliges. Doesn't like it though, and he's ready to leap back into the teeth of those creatures in a second if there's the slightest falter.
It's in the contested way he meets his eye briefly when they're trying to hold the door, before relenting and breaking away to look for the flowers. Damnit... where would they--?
--a vase on a windowsill is very obvious even to Allen, so it doesn't take long. Especially as the window is the only source of the moon outside coming in. He whips around when he spots them, shouting over his shoulder. ]
Two of them, here! In the window! [ He doesn't want to risk grabbing them in case something happens that separates them though, best that they each do so at the same time, but...
Looking back, he can also see what look like oily shadows dripping up through the floorboards beneath Shouto's feet. Coalescing back into their original shapes, and he jerks forward. ]
Shouto! [ Panicked. Not a lot he can do since they can't have a protracted fight and they don't look solid enough to hit, but... they hate light?
First strike. He slashes down through the air with a single claw. Second strike-- he draws a line across it and completes a glowing cross in the air, shimmering bright, brighter, brightest in the room with a bluish-white moonlight quality as it forms an ethereal shield in the air. It throws the room into momentary brilliance that banishes the shadows with... not a pained hiss, actually, but a gentle death rattle sigh. Buying a few seconds. ]
The flower!
no subject
Allen is there, striking down the creatures below with his clawed hand. Shouto swings away from the spot giving him room to maneuver while he spots the flowers on the windowsill, just as Allen said. He makes a run for them, trusting Allen to hold his own, and reaches the vase in time to catch the second attack, completely different than anything he's seen from him before.
He stares in awe, caught by the beauty of the shield, brighter than the moonlight. Pristine in its glory, it's too much for him, and he has to look away or be blinded by divine light. Hearing the command, he grabs the vase and dashes to his side. ]
Take it!
[ Hooking an arm around Allen's stretched-out arm - in case the demon tries to separate them again - Shouto seizes the shorter stem, leaving the one on top for Allen. The moment they touch the blue petals, they're plunged into a sea of tranquility, floating calmly amid gentle waves that lap at them, transporting them to the garden of rindou flowers they first glimpsed when they entered the castle.
When they wake, they lay in a bed of red flowers with a few blue dispersed through the garden. Darkness lies all around them, kept at bay by the moonlight now stretching further into the room from the cracked foundations of the castle. ]
How long are you going to fight this?
[ The demon's voice declares, speaking in an ancient tongue of malice that crawls up his spine, slithering into his ear. His skin breaks out in goosebumps, and he looks out into the void catching movement in the dark. ]
I'm going to erase you.
How? When you're running out of time. Look up, Paleblood.
[ Above them, the moon has started its descent, changing the angle of light that streams in until they're left in darkness. ]
When the light abandons you. Will you come willingly or do you want to watch your evening star go out?
[ Evening star? Confused, he doesn't see the attack until the creature launches itself into the garden, snapping it's teeth at Allen only to be repelled by the light, its skin burning. On instinct, Shouto shoots out a wall of fire that reveals an army of beasts waiting in the dark. Their great tails rattle at the onset of light and they screech in otherworldly tones as the fire dies out, hiding them in the dark. ]
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A creature leaps at him from the dark and he startles, recoiling, but also backhands it with a sharp crack of his left hand even as the moonlight begins to burn it. Please, his reflexes are at the level where he can catch a bullet if his guard is up, it's going to need to do a lot better. He twists around as Shouto lights up the distance, as the reason for his left eye feeling overwhelmed suddenly makes sense. There's so many of them the corruption from them bleeds together into one huge presence...
Also reacting on instinct, his claws light up suddenly with a series of small silver crowns that adorn them like rings. Legs braced, twisting aboutā ]
Please duck. [ To Shouto, calmly. Before the crowns multiply and his foot twists, pivoting and sending hundreds of them streaming out in an explosive barrage all around them. Lightly up the dark briefly in holy radiance and a series of exploding lights and monster screams as they're momentarily driven back.
He gives a small, annoyed huff. ]
Noisy...
[ He turns to Shouto though as he straightens, his expression stern and serious but his tone gentle. ]
It isn't out there, the beast. [ Even amidst all those corrupted entities--the demon is different. It has a soul, even if one so degraded he can't make it out, and his eye would never miss that. ] But I can sense it, close by.
[ Muted, though? ] Almost like it's...
[ He blinks, looking down. His eye is buzzing and screeching in his head even if there isn't a distinct picture. ]
...below us?
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Below us? His head snaps up at him. ]
Are you sure? [ If it's below them, then they can reach it. ] It might be imprisoned there.
[ He looks down at the garden covered in his mother's favorite flowers. Even trapped, it grew strong enough to leak into the world, but if it was here, then... ]
It has nowhere to escape this time. If we can find it, we can destroy it.
[ Creating a shard of ice, Shouto starts digging. Uprooting the flowers feels like destroying a part of himself, but it's different from what he felt when they were in the replica of his childhood home. This felt like razing a field to get rid of an infection. A necessary evil that would heal with time.
Six feet down, they hit a solid object, and a little more digging reveals a white coffin with a viewing window. Shouto stills, disturbed by the sight. He doesn't want to touch it but reaches forward anyway and opens the wooden window. Inside lies a princely version of him, fast asleep with a book on his chest. A thin piece of glass separates the sleeping figure from the outside world. If Allen SEES with his eye, he'll see something dark and twisted wrapped around him lovingly, possessively. Humanoid in shape, it stares back at him with the quiet confidence of a predator who's ensnared its prey.
Blind to the demon twisted around his heart, Shouto tries to peer inside, unaware of the pair of eyes following his every movement. If they try to pry open the casket, they'll find it frozen shut. Wrapped around its prize, the demon ignores them to settle back with its Sleeper. Its dark shapely fingers run through his hair while the incarnation of Shouto's heart slumbers, unaware. The pane of glass filters the moonlight insulating it from its effects. The demon seems unruffled by their presence. The fact that the moonlight has cut across a third of the garden likely has something to do with it. The monsters outside have started to trample the flowers without consequence.
Pleased by their progress, it waits. Now that they've dug it out of its prison, it'll be able to leave once the light is gone. After all, it's easier to leave a heart than enter one. So it waits. ]
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Is it really about just a fight? His instincts are saying no. It's more than that. But he can't quite place his finger on it, either.
Ironically, this isn't his first time digging up a coffin. By the time they're halfway down he's kind of gotten an uneasy sense that's what it might be, and while he isn't as disturbed by it as Shouto he certainly doesn't like it either, lingering restlessly next to him when he moves to open the window. His expression drops, eyes widening. ]
It's... you? [ Another representation of him? No, more than that. He's quick to reach for Shouto's shoulder, to grip it tight but gentle because that has to be unsettling, but he's distracted even as he does so. Peering deeper into the coffin even if he doesn't move physically forward as something seems to click in his head then--
His eye shifts and focuses, bringing the demon into sight in a way that makes him want to gag in disgust for a moment at that mockery of affection. He doesn't though and digs the claws of his left hand into as close a shape to a fist as he can manage, posture so tight he's trembling lightly with the repressed rage of a dog on a leash. His grip on Shouto's shoulder also tightens. ]
It's there. [ His voice is tight, jaw working for a moment as his eyes narrow back at the demon. If he could just use his sword safely--
If it worked as it was supposed to, like he'd thought it would before, and just cut that thing away without harming him--
Just ram it straight through the coffin in one go-- ]
Inside.
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Allen? [ He touches his claw, feeling him tremble. ] What's wrong?
[ The hand on his shoulder strengthens its grip, and his eyes snap down to the casket. ]
Inside?!
[ He lets go of him to search through the window, trying to get a glimpse of something out of place, but it's no use. The demon has entwined itself around his heart so tightly, he's blind to it. ]
Love is blind.
[ His mother's voice echoes through the room, and the creatures hiss and snap at each other, sewing chaos. More than a few fights break out. ]
Mom?!
[ He stands, searching around the room for a glimpse of her, stopping short of the darkness. Frantic, he throws out another fireball to glimpse into the dark, which only incites the creature's ire, and a long tail snaps forward, knocking him off his feet. ]
What's the state of this castle Shouto?
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Shouto's knocked off his feet, and Allen drops to the ground to catch him. Looping his arms under his and pulling him back against his chest to keep him in the light, he shifts their combined weight back on one foot and kicks out low towards where the tail came from. His boot doesn't connect with anything of course and he's not so stupid as to put even a toe into that darkness, but his cloak hardens and whips out in glowing parallel in the direction it retreated. There's a shrieking hiss.
He exhales, his breathing and heartrate steadier now, but still holding Shouto back against him. Sprawled out, the darkness is inching closer to where their feet are and his eye is on that, but he pushes that thought aside even as he keeps a close watch on it. The state of the castle...? ]
I'll watch your back. [ It's calmer and gentle by his ear, even if he feels so uneasy. ] But it was like this before, wasn't it?
[ That voice before, but his father. What are you afraid of... The demon had screamed when Shouto had found his answer to that, hadn't it? Like that had hurt it somehow? ]
The key wasn't in battle.
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What's the state of the castle.
[ He repeats his mother's hint, looking up at the cracks in the stone, insidiously spreading like tendrils of chaos. It let the moonlight in by fracturing the foundation. ]
It's breaking.
[ The demon's voice reverberates through the castle, in the small window, its eyes curve in satisfaction, whispering in his ear. ]
You're breaking.
[ Shouto stiffens in Allen's hold, skin prickling with goosebumps as the moon treads through the sky, robbing them of another foot of light. ]
You are one made of two. What's missing?
[ Shouto looks up at the opening in the ceiling where the moonlight streams in and ice creeps in from every direction. ]
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He breathes out, adjusting his arms to not so much hold Shouto up but hug him back against him, being so very very mindful of his left and its sharp claws. One made of two?
"You and I together, a weapon to save the world." He blinks, forgetting to breath for a moment, before he leans forward and his chin tips down. ]
Don't listen to it. [ That beast-become-demon. The doubts.
His voice is soft however, even as his left eye still blazes with a blackish red aura as he tries to see past the darkness and make out the shapes of the creatures he knows are waiting and inching forward. ]
It's alright to break sometimes anyway. Things don't stay broken forever. Besides, you said before it, didn't you? [ He can hear the breathing all around them of dozens of monsters, unseen but there, but keeps speaking quietly and curls a bit closer around. ]
We'll be there for each other when we break. So it'll be okay.
[ So don't be afraid of it. Accept it and become stronger for it. ]
This is your inner world and not its, isn't it?
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[ Growing stronger. Phantom touches. Something moving along his skin. He starts to react to it, jerking when it grabs his shoulder, twisting when it runs a hand down his spine. Toying with him. Shifting his focus until Allen curls closer, and his presence overrides the other.
It's alright to break sometimes anyway.
We'll be there for each other when we break. So it'll be okay.
This is your inner world... isn't it?
Those words touch on something fragile, pulsing steadily in his chest. ]
Thank you... [ Shouto wraps his arms around him too. Needing the contact. ] For being here.
[ The left side of the castle erupts into a burning blaze sending a shockwave through the castle, burning any corruption within its domain. Half the creatures get incinerated in seconds and the other half break into a frenzy of fights. Beside them, the casket begins to thump while the figure inside slumbers on, heedless of the demon twisting in pain. ]
--Missing! [ Shouto holds onto Allen as the castle burns with its former glory. ] The fire was missing!
[ But the ice on the casket still holds strong. Frozen over, keeping the demon trapped. ]
It didn't melt. [ It's then that he lets go of Allen to set a hand on the casket, attempting to use his quirk to melt it, but it's no use, no matter how much fire he pours into it, the ice stays strong. ]
It's not your fire that's the issue, Shouto. [ His mother's voice sends the remaining monsters into a frenzy until they're left snapping at each other, breaking out into fights. ]
Then what is?
You froze yourself to stop the pain, but pain is part of life. [ Stunned, Shouto goes very still. ] Let yourself feel it.
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(I want to always be here.)
His head jerks up in surprise when the castle roars back to life though. The sounds of the creatures -- it's destroying them. No, purifying them... ]
The fire...
[ So suddenly like that... Like before. They came back and he used both at the same time before. He blinks, slightly amazed for a moment, before the thumping of the coffin drags his attention and he moves over quickly too. He motions to Shouto after he tries his fire and he's about to try his left hand, when there's the voice of his mother again and he stays his hand, blinking. Froze himself... to stop the pain?He inhales sharply. You idiot. He knew it and tried to tell you that before, too. Though maybe that makes Allen the idiot for not persisting to get through. He stares for a moment though, processing all of that, realizing the significance finally, maybe, of the sleeping prince-like Shouto in the coffin, before he breathes out shakily. Touches Shouto's arm quietly as he seems to have withdrawn in himself as he struggles with that. ]
She's right, you know. Nobody ever got stronger by running from their pain. [ It's very gentle, his tone, as he doesn't want to push on something that's likely so delicate. Sympathetic, as that's... well, he can't presume to know what he's feeling. But Allen understands pain to the point where it's crippling and it feels like it's impossible to face. So he decided how he'd face his a long time ago.
Even if sometimes he still forgets that.
But: ]
Our wounds always heal even if the scars remain.
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He has to think back, remembering that first week spent waiting for him, sleeping under the cherry blossom tree on the black sands of the Farther Shores. He woke up frozen over, breaking through a layer of ice. Numb to the bone. The guardian sapling made it easier to bear with the following nightmares. Allen's return prompted a departure from anguish. He forgot how bad it had been. It must have been his proximity that kept the nightmares at bay because when he moved into Sanctuary, the nightmares resurfaced, less severe than before. He froze them out until they were layered under so much ice he stopped feeling the loss altogether.
When the demon arrived, it uncovered a treasure trove of nightmares on which to feed on, growing fat on the excess until it grew strong enough to penetrate his world. Twisted it into a playground of its own, using the foundation to create the nightmares that ultimately wore him down, night after night, until he froze Kizu out in an attempt to make it stop.
Let yourself feel it.
He drops his hand from the coffin and touches his chest. Numb. It was numb. Frozen. Sleeping.
He thought he was okay. He'd gotten over what happened, but what if he hadn't? He looks up at Allen. The admission he'd been holding back for months, unwilling to touch it, rises to the surface. ]
You died because I was there, didn't you?
You forgave me, but... I don't think I forgave myself. We killed you and cremated your body, and I... I didn't face it. I... didn't let myself grieve you... the same as my mother. I just... buried it. I buried Kizu too. Froze it all until it stopped hurting.
[ Behind him, the casket starts to melt. Once exposed to moonlight, Allen can kill the demon with his sword. Shouto will let him, still numb from disturbing realizations, and when the demon is gone, the nightmares will disappear too, and the sleeping. frozen, heart will wake. ]
i feel like i should make the "i'm sorry my protag has no chill" apology...
Eyes wide, his breath comes out a little shakily for a moment as... how does one process that exactly. Hearing about how their body was disposed of, and in a personal manner that... Shouto. You'd been carrying that around this whole time...? It's rattling for him to hear about it so after the fact, but it wasn't something experienced. Having that sort of experience, those memories... If the roles had been reversed and he'd been the one who had to burn his body by his own hand?
His hand twitches for a moment. Eyes sketching rapidly across Shouto's face for a moment, unable to land anywhere. He's aware of the coffin beginning to crack and melt in the background, but that... He doesn't even know what to say to that. Just that he should, there's so much he wants to say when the other is looking so distressed like that and suddenly he has a lot better understanding of why except even if he's normally good at that sort of thing he can't--
He blinks, breath coming out in a shaky puff, and moves.
Delicate and swift as a snowflake in the wind, he leads with a light brush of his Innocence-gloved fingers along Shouto's jaw to turn him towards him. As he dips in to press his lightly chapped lips just to the corner of his mouth, warmly and so gentle, but also a little brusque. Just shy of being able to be called a kiss on the cheek, and he lingers there for a purposeful and sweet moment.
Sometimes he's bad with words and better with actions... and that just felt like it said what he wanted to better than they could have.
He draws back a little then, just enough to look at him properly. ]
I'm also still alive. [ It's a lower, softer brusque tone than he usually has. Eyes a clear and fiery bright silver-grey, but he's also moving again.
Breaking away as he grips his own left wrist with his right, draws again the luminous exorcising greatsword from it, and bounds around Shouto at the demon that's pulled itself up out of the coffin with a death rattle scream, its skin already burning.
One strike, straight through the core now that it's separated itself from his heart. With a merciless sort of mercy. ]
I make no apologies for this disaster! Good luck dealing with two of them!
It feels like a storm hitting a dam, letting himself feel what he buried for so long. Love twists itself into grief, demanding its toll, and he clutches at his chest so tightly it feels like an open wound. Shouto stills. An unmoving statue. Hurting, grieving for a life that stands beside him. And that may be the worst of it, missing someone who is there. It made it all the more confusing. The moment Allen returned, that loss felt like a poison tainting their time together, and he felt guilty for mourning someone who smiled at him, whose laugh still carried in the wind.
Grieving your love.
The garden starts to bloom again, and blue autumn bellflowers stretch their petals to the moonlight, drinking in the light. Tears rim the edge of his lashes, and the wisdom of tears bleeds out the poison he's been carrying for so long. Allen moves into his line of sight. He barely notices until a gloved hand tips his head up, derailing his line of thought. Tears stop flowing as he stares into the evening star, gaining strength from its light until an airy, delicate touch at the corner of his mouth breaks the illusion.
I'm also still alive.
His heart pounds in his ears as Allen breaks away to draw his great sword glowing brightly. It strikes down the twisted rotten thing, already burning in the light, and after everything they went through to find it. All that they sacrificed to reach it, Shouto can't even pay attention to its final moments. Dazed and confused, he's still staring at Allen instead of the demon. Its shriek is silent as it passes into the void while the soul it tried to invade stares dumbly at his savior cloaked in white.
I love you who are sad.
The garden of blue turns red, mirroring the jittery figure sitting amid the garden. Beside him, the heart wakes from its slumber, and the white casket disappears leaving the prince to stretch out amid the red petals, smiling gently at them. ]
You brought him here.
[ The Prince teases Shouto, a playful smile at the corner of his mouth. ]
What did you think would happen?
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So maybe... just maybe, whoever or whatever it had once been... maybe that part of them might be able to still find peace. So he breathes out in relief as it shatters into fragments, consumed by a bright white light that radiates out from within, and lingers for a moment as he steadies himself.
It's... over? (Would that mean they'd return to reality then?)
He straightens, turning back around to Shouto as he returns his sword to his arm. Ah... both of them? He blinks at the appearance of the prince, awake now, not so much surprised at another iteration of Shouto but his... expression? He stares for a moment at that, honestly baffled as much as fascinated. Before he catches what he says, processing that while looking back and catching Shouto's expression and... blushing a touch. As... that all catches back up with him. Oh.
......... Oh.
He. Acted without thinking. And he hesitates for a moment, looking uncertainly between the two briefly as the edges of his cloak drift restlessly among the flowers in white and red. A touch fidgety. ]
...Shouto?
[ Say.... something? ]
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Do you know where you are?
[ He sits up, and the petals he crushed bounce back, white now instead of red. ]
I'll give you a hint.
[ Delicately, he picks up the book held close to his heart, turning the pages until he finds what he's looking for. ]
Take a look.
[ He turns over the hardcover, its thick pages lined with neat handwriting. He won't let him lay a finger on it, but just this once, he'll let him read a page. ]
We woke up before sunrise to feed the koi. Breakfast was strawberry crepes with a fruit compote. It was too sweet for me, but Allen seemed to like it. I asked the owner if I could buy another one for Sunday brunch.
I restocked my supplies of bath bombs today. I asked the clerk which was best for people who like baths. I got twenty of them.
I found the tea Allen likes at the market. I bought two cans. I'll give him both when he moves into Sanctuary. It's too strong for me.
I found a book on physical therapy and started practicing the techniques for leg mobility. Adding heat helps relax cramping muscles and increases the blood flow. Applying cold helps reduce swelling, inflammation, and pain. I started practicing on Kizu today.
Allen overfed the koi again. Kizu said I should take away his feeding privileges, but he seems to like feeding them. I'll start portioning out the correct amounts for him from now on.
I was on patrol today and got a text from Allen. It was an odd picture. It's supposed to be funny. I didn't get it. I saved it to my Omni.
[ The text goes on. Little snippets in the style of diary entries that by themselves didn't amount to much until they were all gathered in one place, building a picture that took on a different form. ]
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Gaze flickering a bit nervously (guiltily?) back and forth between the two, Allen hesitates visibly, leaning more in the direction of the Shouto he knows. (Shouto. Please say something. Shouto...) But... at the beck, he edges closer to the prince. Crouching down among the flowers to peer closer (is that okay? really?) at the pages. It's hard to say what he would have actually expected to be there, but this...
He blinks. Not quite getting it at first (diary entries? some about him? ... no, all about him, aren't they? and it's no diary), before he starts to and raises a hand up. Almost touching the page with a strange sort of reverence, before he stops himself with a quick look up at the prince. Uncertain, even if all of this... he knew some, but--
Gaze flickering rapidly for a moment between the pages and the more refined Shouto, up, down, up, his expression is just... lightly caught. Oh. He is a clever boy, after all. He's very good at reading between the lines. But...
...he feels a little guilty for looking too. Like peeking into something he shouldn't have, even if he was told it was alright. He doesn't need a hint; he doesn't cheat like that. He already figured his feelings out a while ago -- at least enough and in the very simple sort of way someone as damaged as him can begin to do that, someone who freely loves so strongly and openly but in usually such a lonely way, and that had involved trying to figure out Shouto's feelings too.
Because sometimes it's just as simple as realizing you're both just happier when together than when not, and it doesn't have to be any more complicated than that. That's what Viktor helped him realize.
It's also why he gives a small huff, eyes sliding aside with a faintly sulky blush as he gives his answer. ]
I said it before. I'm where I want to be.
[ Still. His expression gentles, looking back over at the real Shouto for some kind of response. Any kind of response. Are you okay...? ...please...? Everything is alright now, right? ]
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Too close.
[ In his hand, the book reshapes itself, transforming into red and white petals that tumble from his fingers onto the garden. He keeps a hold of a single red petal and looks to his counterpart, who stares back at their guest, looking a little flustered, following their discourse.
I'm where I want to be.
The final puzzle piece slides into place, bridging his feelings with the cherished picture he's formed of Allen in their time together. It's hard to misconstrue his words when accompanied by that kind of straightforward action. Harder still not to realize his feelings on the matter amid the garden of his own heart.
I want you here too. I donāt think I could have brought anyone else.
You brought him here. What did you think would happen?
This time, it's his turn to blush, meeting Allen's eyes when he turns to look at him. Shyly, he covers his mouth. ]
... I want you here too.
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Allen blinks. Stares too-- and then bites his lip lightly, smiling, and drops his gaze shyly as well. It's the same thing he said before too, but this sort of context... He just smiles so quietly, warmed by the fragile sort of feeling that's fanned by that. Something small but so joyful and bright as a supernova. Even his downy cloak that both absorbs and reflects the moonlight subtly seems to radiate so much more brightly for a moment with it.
His fingers twitch lightly against the bed of flowers, like he wants to inch closer to touch Shouto's hand, but is a little too shy to for once. ]
Do you... want to go home? [ Home. The thing he didn't have until you brought him back with you, you know? Not anything to do with places, but that quiet and content sense of belonging. The happiness of having people you want to return back to and see again. Needing and being needed. Something Allen is so used to not ever having, to the point where when he does...
It's special. So special.
Sanctuary is rapidly becoming something that's a big part of him and his heart, believing in a safe place where people will feel cared for; his purpose, but... it also isn't that. Isn't home. And thus part of the mistake he realized he'd made. Presuming it was convenient and part of him finding a new home there. It was a place, an important place, so important with so many people that are dear to him filling it up and yes, making it feel like a family, but... It wasn't-- the same.
Because that's what love means to Allen: home.
That's why he looks back up as he says it, voice soft and demeanor gentle. Smiling quietly with such a warm sort of contentment, his anxiousness gone. Maybe looking a little fragile and vulnerable, but also like he's perfectly okay with that. Those things don't make someone weak. ]
Together.
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