deercountry | ( CLOSED ) MY LONELINESS IS KILLING ME.

It doesn't look like anything I've seen before.

[ the plague, influenza... katherine's had the luxury of immortality that kept her safe, but she hadn't been able to forget what it looked like to see the people she cared about die from something she may not have been able to prevent.

she ensures to keep her expression neutral and her voice even more so. ]

It's probably something this place has done. It's always this place.

So, what do we do?

( he knows that she won't know what to do but he hates feeling helpless and at least asking questions makes him feel like he's doing something.

it's not enough though. he sighs and rubs his face before he reaches out and rests a hand near luca's leg. )

Wake up, you two. Please.

[ as the one who has lived too many lifetimes, she wishes she had the answer. she's the one with the witch background, the one who has seen the original hybrid at his weakest and most human… and yet, she doesn't know how to fix this. katherine has a plan for mostly everything, and while some of those plans involved fleeing, many of them involved staying and meddling.

she has no idea what to do here. ]

I don't think they're asleep, Stefan.

[ she wishes that they were. ]

Maybe… [ with a purse to her lips, she considers what she wants to say. it may not be smart, but it's the only option they have. ] Maybe we can see what they might be dreaming of.

Do you think that's safe?

( he looks at both of them sitting there on the bed, lethargic and barely there. he doesn't like it. he wishes they could look like literally anything else but this. )

To go into their heads like that?

[ she wants to say yes, but katherine doesn't know. lying would make them both feel comfortable and at ease, but she knows he knows that this is unknown territory. being as upfront as possible seems to be working. that's what's stefan's taught her over the last year.

quietly, ] I don't know.

[ she really hates that she doesn't know. ]

But it's worth a try, isn't it?

Yeah.

( yeah, it's definitely worth a try. stefan doesn't have any other ideas himself so sliding into their heads is the only thing worth trying even if there's a risk.

he swallows. )

Do you want me to go with you or wait out here?

[ truthfully, katherine doesn't want to go alone. even though she's so used to it, doing things herself, having only herself to rely on, now that she has stefan, she doesn't want to do this one by herself. selfishly, she doesn't want to posture as being capable of dealing with what could or couldn't be waiting for them inside of their children's minds without someone beside her.

stefan's always been there. she wants him to be there when they do this. ]

I think we should go together.

[ she scrunches up her face to try and feign courage. she doesn't feel particularly brave. ]

Just in case.

Okay.

( this isn't something that stefan wants to do but if he's going to do it, being with katherine is probably for the best. he doesn't want her to go alone and he doesn't want to go alone.

but, he worries what he's going to see in there. he doesn't want to see something that's going to stay with him forever.

but, he nods. )

Which one first?

[ that's a hard question. she wants to help them both at the same time. what if it only works for one of them? what if they can't go back? but katherine doesn't allow that to show on her face, even though her expression pinches and her eyes shimmer with unshed tears. ]

Luca.

[ she brushes her hand gently against nadia's leg to quietly tell her she'll come back for her. she always will. ]

He's the youngest. He's probably the most scared.

[ or she is. ]

Okay. Do you want to get us in there since you're stronger?

( he would do it but he thinks she'd be able to hold them there longer than he would. )

Or can we both do it? I've never tried two people at once.

I don't know if we can do both.

[ katherine's not entirely sure if she wants to. but does she want to do one then the other? isn't ripping off the bandaid quickly better than a slow peel?

she licks her lips and closes her eyes for a moment, trying to steady herself and get centred. he has a good point. maybe it's better to do both. if stefan believes that she can do it, then she wants to lean into that. she's never manipulated the dreams of more than one person at a time before.

but something in her has changed. katherine thinks she can extend that manipulation further than any other vampire now. ]

Let's try both. [ she nods and places her hand in stefan's. ] You touch Luca. I'll touch Nadia. And don't pull your hand away from any of us.

I won't.

( swallowing, he squeezes her hand and then reaches out to press his palm to luca's cheek, covering the cool skin. he glances at her, waiting for her to touch nadia. )

I'm ready, I'm good.

( as ready as they could ever be for something that neither of them has tried, at least. )

[ katherine doesn't want to move her hand from nadia's thigh. she thinks to move and can't make her hand do so. she doesn't want to think of her daughter being present but gone. she doesn't want to think of her being in pain. but if she can somehow help her and breathe life back into her, then she'll do it—even at the detriment of herself.

after a deep breath in, she reaches for nadia's small, cold hand, and tentatively presses down against it. closing her eyes, she focuses, and reluctantly enters the minds before her to try and paint a rather fun, beautifully bright dream.

taking them back to her cottage in bulgaria, the very one she had taken nadia to reunite her with her father and grandmother, she looks around at the brightly lit house and surroundings. the sun is too bright. the air is too warm. the cottage stands tall and strong. a little ways away from her is nadia and luca, their backs to them both.

when katherine peers down, her hand is in stefan's. she can see that he's there, present in a way that nadia and luca hadn't been. their children remain with their backs turned, quiet and still a few feet away. ]

( he knows the moment that katherine takes them inside their minds. it's like a pull and then he opens his eyes and he knows where they are. this is where they seem to go for a lot of dream manipulation.

he takes a breath and blinks, focusing on nadia and luca in the distance. he doesn't like that their backs are turned. he wishes he could see them but they're not looking.

katherine's hand is in his and he looks over at her. she's there, he's there, they'd managed to get inside their minds so that's a start. )

Should we call them?

[ if this happened to be any other circumstance, katherine wouldn't be beside him waiting for him to come to. her impatience would get the better of her for the first time in her long life and she'd be with them, gently wrestling them into the ground and cuddling them on the dirt. but as the children are behaving strangely, she remains in place. ]

I don't think so.

[ she doesn't know what to do. she doesn't tear her gaze away from luca or nadia's backs. ]

I think we should go to them.

[ except she's not putting one foot in front of the other just yet. ]

Okay.

( he waits a minute before he gets himself moving, keeping a hold of her hand so she'll come along with him. his steps are slow, quiet, because he doesn't want to startle the kids. )

Come on, we're almost there.

( and then they can see if this works or if it's a lost cause for the moment. )

[ katherine has been afraid of many things in her long life, but she has never been so terrified she wasn't able to properly think and find a solution out of it. until now.

she lets stefan lead her, the distance closing between her and the kids. she would rather turn around and run away—it's the one thing she knows how to do best—but she moves forward, unable to really pivot on her foot and flee.

ignoring all of her uncertainties, she stands a little taller and watches the backs of the kids' heads. they remain unnaturally still.

she barely moves her lips when she quietly says, ] They're not moving.

Don't panic.

( they're not moving but he wants to think that there's a reason. he swallows and brings her around to stand in front of them. they...look alive but unnaturally still like she'd noticed. )

Luca.

( he waves a hand in front of his son's face. )

You should touch him.

[ despite being utterly brave and fearless in the face of the world's most dangerous hybrid, katherine finds herself heavy with fear. she shouldn't allow herself to show it, but katherine stares at luca's face and finds herself completely unnerved. she doesn't want to move. ]

I don't think waving will work.

Okay.

( he swallows and crouches down, reaching out to gently take luca's hand. )

Luca? Hey buddy, you there?

[ while katherine wants to be brave like stefan, she remains standing behind him. she stares at the back of his head before shifting her gaze to luca. he seems so still. he doesn't even seem to recognise either of them being present.

but she thinks she sees nadia's nose twitch a little. ]

How does he feel?

He's not cold.

( he doesn't react but he's not cold and that means stefan's going to keep up the touch, rubbing briskly at his biceps and then taking his hand. )

Luca, come on, come back. Come on, it's us. Mom and Dad. Wake up, we want to see you.

[ although katherine wants to remain where she is, safely tucked away from them both, she comes to stand behind stefan. resting her hand on his shoulder, she lowers to her knees and remains beside him.

of all the dream manipulations she's captained, none have ever turned out like this. granted, she's never tried manipulating three people at once. ]

Do you think I messed up the dream?

No, I don't think this is you, Katherine.

(it's the kids, it's whatever's happening with them. he frowns, shaking his head. )

Touch him with me. Maybe the both of us can do it.

[ she hesitates. katherine doesn't want to make anything worse. she's half-convinced that she's to blame for this. if she'd done the manipulation better, in some other way... maybe luca would be responsive.

glancing at stefan from the corner of her eye, she inhales deeply and steels her shoulders. she tugs her hand from stefan and reaches out to very tentatively touch luca's wrist.

quietly, ] He didn't fall apart at my touch.

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