deercountry | Mother stands for comfort

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Mother stands for comfort

Who: Luz and you (and specifically with Luca)
What: Luz tries to resist the hex, and not mutate herself until she finally falls to beast hood
When: Middle of February (sorry Luz, no birthday for you)
Where: All around Trench

She'd read the sermon and was sure that was when the trouble began. Luz had thought, after getting others who'd been sympathetic and lent an ear to her troubles, that she might be able to ride out the crazy of this month, that she'd get to her birthday in relative peace. Unfortunately, things didn't get better: instead, Luz found herself plagues by the past: her father leaving, the scorn of being that "weird" kid in her class, and the things that came with her Deerington and new Trench memories.

After Varian, Luz had been meticulous about trying to keep such thoughts from consuming her, trying to talk to others when she could, listening to advice and meditating more than she probably had any month. But the thoughts kept coming, and no matter what Luz did, she found she was feeling more depressed by the day, even though she interacted with people and did her best to keep her smile up.

And then one day, she found it was starting to feel worse than usual, enough that she even resorted to turning to her bird form if only to escape those memories. Now they were starting to compound, and images of the cave men and the Blood Cultists and their attacks on her began to plague her nightmares. It got so bad that she woke up feeling the cuts in her skin as clearly as she had back then, and she would be breathing hard and be so anxious she stayed in bed.

She had no idea how to stop this, and moments where she started to consider self-harm surfaced, shocking her so badly she took a cold bath, shivering and in tears, wondering what would happen next.

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"A ... bile sac?" She paused and just sort of looked at her friend for a moment in serious curiosity and confusion. "Wait, so ... they have an actual organ in their bodies that enables their magic, and it's... it's their bile sac?" She definitely looked more than a little befuddled. It didn't seem impossible, but she'd never heard of anything like that.

She did chuckle a bit at the other part and nodded. "I tend to think of hounds as more the protectors, but they both can be in their own way."

"Around their hearts! So, you know, it's not something you can see. It's an internal organ, like anything else. I don't know lots more about it other than its what makes it possible for them to cast without glyphs. No one else on the isles does that except for me."

As far as she knew, anyway.

"That makes more sense! Cats seem more solitary and aloof. If anything, I guess I resemble more of a dog than a cat? Maybe?"

She snickered. "You do resemble a dog in the way that you show loyalty, yes. You're independent, but more in a familiar and friendly way. It's very dog-like. I'm a bit the cat person myself," she could admit, while she was tapping at her lips, considering for a moment more about the magic.

"It's impressive that you've managed to master your own approach to magic. Necessity is a mother to invention is it not?"

Luz couldn't even argue with that thought process. She was indeed pretty loyal and tended to be friendly and familiar. She still felt a little called out.

"Am I doing my cat hoodie an injustice?!"

Oh, but magic was a different story.

"Of course! I probably would have come up with it faster on the Boiling Isles, but it's great that U found a way to do it here!"

She snickered and shook her head. "You can love both," she said, ruffling at her head and winking. "Nothing wrong with appreciating both of their qualities, is there?"

"Exactly. It's been a benefit, and the more that you practice, the more effective I suspect it will be. Something worth continuing to practice at."

"Not at all, and I do love both! I love animals in general though, so that's actually not much of a stretch."

She was always ruffling her head like a pet too! Luz liked it though, so no problem there.

"I think so too. Just have to find a good place to practice, where I can't hit anyone and where there's not some crazy kookiness going on. Luckily, it seems like there might be a slight pause so far."

It was just a good habit she'd picked up from having dealt with so many kids in her life. "Even porcupines? I actually really like them and hedgehogs. Have to be careful about petting them, but they're such cute little critters," she offered, grinning away.

"You should be able to find good sized clearings for that easily enough. Just make sure someone knows where you went in case."

"Of course, they're adorable! I'd probably need gloves with them of course, but still very cute!"

It reminded her a little of Eda!

"That's probably a good idea. Don't want to be too hard to find if I trapped myself in something by mistake!"

At least she had the Bond when something like that happened!

"I hear people who really know how to handle them don't wear gloves, but they probably really know how to take care of them. It'd be tricky I suspect." But they were very affectionate creatures when they trusted you.

"Exactly. It'll be easier to fix in that situation if someone knows where to find you." And bonds absolutely helped.

"Oh, I'll bet. It'd be worth a little pain to be able to hold one of those cuties though!"

Luz would do her best to earn the porcupine's affection!

"Hopefully it won't ever be so bad that I need that kind of help?"

You never knew, though.

She giggled. "Absolutely worth it." She personally thought they made a very good type of pet if you knew what you were doing with it. Probably had to avoid smothering them a little though.

"Better prepared for what never comes, than to be unprepared if it does. I hazard to think this world watches for opportunities like those."

"Exactly! I think most critters are worth it, and hedgehogs have always been pretty cute!"

Lus tended to try avoid smothering her pets. Heck, some of them were even impossible to smother.

"That is a good point. I wouldn't put it past this place to have a catastrophe happen overnight."

She nodded once, sighing some. "Yes, it does like to surprise us, doesn't it? Ah, but we'll be ok either way. You're a good one for preparations, and I refuse to be caught by surprise anymore if I can help it."

"I'm not always able to do it, but I don't think anyone can be fully prepared all the time anyway. How are you able to avoid the surprise? Your second sight?"

"Well..." Yeah, part of it was the second sight, but... "On the one hand? I sometimes do get a feeling of trouble coming about a week in advance. It's not definitive, and if it isn't a particularly nasty thing that I think people will listen to my warnings about? I don't usually mention it. But some of it is just that I'm starting to get used to the sorts of troubles we face here. They have a certain... common set of threads."

"I think I get what you're saying. It sure does feel like we do get into trouble too often for our own good. I had a feeling you might be holding back a little bit though!"

Luz sighed. "It really all just starts to blend together after a while, doesn't it?"

"You picked up on that, did you?" she said with a little snicker, leaning in to tap her on the forehead. "Something I want you to keep in your mind. I hold it back because I know not everyone's ready to hear or trust. So it won't do much good. But if you ever hear me saying things like that and mourning that nobody's listening to me? Talk me down."

She... really did know at this point what she was capable of when she felt pushed and paranoid. "And yeah, it kind of blends together a bit. But that's when we start to find a way to just survive every day."

"I've known you long enough, I better!"

Luz listened quietly, nodding her head. "I hear you loud and clear, Vira. It's one thing to be able to do those things, but in practice I'm sure it'll have its own pitfalls and dangerous implications. And the last thing I ever want is something happening to you."

Especially if it was something Luz was responsible for by mistake.

"We'll find a way. We always do."

Something that Luz was going to have to remind herself AFTER all of this.

"I trust you, along with a few, to catch that sort of thing. It's important for us to have an idea for when we're not simply distressed or stressed, but something appears legitimately wrong with us. Like you said, we'll find a way. An ounce of prevention, if you will..." Certainly it was something that would be good for all of them to keep in mind for the future.

"Right. We'll have to have plans, when things like this happen and we have to find away to disarm without hurting too much. Maybe one day we should gather together and start to formulate plans, for the people that we know, in case it ever should come to that."

Luz paused. "Uh. We're not sounding too much like F.E.A.R. all over again though, right? I was never a part of them, so I'm not sure exactly what their credo was all about."

"No, we aren't. FEAR had a very specific plan that we were playing into without realizing it. In the end, we're not organizing into any sort of global force specifically with goals that involve harming others for our own sake. but... it's good to be cautious when making plans." She nodded sagely at that. "Ramona's pitfall is too easy to fall into if we succumb to fear."

"I don't want to mistakenly harm anyone. I understand why it might be a good idea for us all to band together, because there might be a time that we need to do it. When those Zealots got ahold of us, for one thing."

Luz watched her friend. "Do you think Ramona ever had good intentions, and they just got twisted somehow during everything that happened, or was she always just...doomed to fail?"

"..." She hated Ramona so much, but after aa moment and a groan, she had to admit... "Before, when she arrived and befriended the girl? I believe it was genuine. She just wanted to survive. That was what drove her mad. When Ramona was the only one, she was probably confused and disoriented and the girl bonded to her. Only after things started to go haywire did she lose her mind."

"It is not easy to admit that, but I don't think she was truly a manipulative soul by nature."

"Right," Luz said, looking unsure. "In other words, it happened over time, and look at her now. It's like her soul can never rest, she'll always be...like that."

Luz looked up at her friend. "If it could happen to her, good intentions turned into something that goes against what you wanted, couldn't it happen to anyone?"

"Be.. like... what?" And it was apparent in that moment that Vira-Lorr was not aware of the state of what Ramona had become. She didn't actually travel in that area, and hadn't investigated rumors, and there was a nervous look in her face.

"It could, if we aren't careful, yes. It's necessary to always be mindful of one's weaknesses. Perhaps the one good thing about some of the curses they do. They're darkly educational very rarely."

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