We could go down in flames (but we'll melt the world away)

[likethelight]

Who: Allen Walker and Shouto Todoroki
What: Allen comes back after dying while purifying beast-Dabi, cue pain (:
When: Early May
Where: Farther Shores

Content Warnings: Mentions of character death, character panic over disabling injury/body failure



[ Timcanpy has been waiting very patiently.

For over a week, Timcanpy has been waiting very patiently. While new Sleepers washed ashore and remembered their features and spring began and was celebrated on the boardwalk. After they had stopped appearing and the ocean once settled into its normal rhythm, grey and foreboding, without anyone further being brought in by the tide. Sunrise to sunset and throughout the night and moonrise, he stays up in the boughs of a lone flowering cherry tree along the black sand and watches the waves.

Sometimes having company, and sometimes not. Sometimes being the one keeping company. He comes down and stays with them, letting himself be sad then and clinging on.

But he's a good omen. He'll wait as long as it takes.

It's the first night of the full moon when he stirs suddenly, rousing from where he had been not-quite dozing, like someone disturbed from their sleep by a distant sound. Staring out into the waves so quietly, so intently, like he's straining to see... before he explodes into motion. Rocketing up, zig-zagging back and forth, before abruptly taking off towards the water—

—and then coming straight back, slamming into the nearby, camped out Todoroki's head and bouncing off like a squishy sort of softball. He's right back up and fluttering around in front of his face a moment later though. _{Get up, get up! Now! Nownownow!!} ]

Comments

[swellter]

[ Shouto has been waiting patiently alongside Tim.

For over a week, he's been waiting for Allen on the Farther Shores while the world keeps spinning. New arrivals make landfall, and the cycle of Trench continues unaware of their loss. Kizu stays with Tim while he patrols the shoreline in search of him. He's gone for some time helping those who've washed onto the black sands alone and full of questions. Patient, he answers them and helps find a Waker to fully ease them into their new life while he continues down the shoreline.

His search is fruitless and he returns back to the sapling in full bloom, heavy of heart. Tim nests in its branches, while Kizu lounges nearby on a strong bough. Shouto settles himself at its roots, back pressed against the soft bark taking shelter beneath its calming aura.

The first full moon makes its trek among the stars, outshining them all with its calming presence... or is that the cheery blossom? He's not sure anymore, everything's started to blend together, time ticking by slowly while he waits in limbo.

Staring out to sea, unable to sleep, his thoughts wander back to that day. His vision wasn't wrong, he was. Unaware of the situation, he'd lost control. Attacked with bladed ice. He still remembers all that blood luminescent like the moon, pooling on the ground. He'd saved his brother, and he'd contributed to his end in return. Heavy of heart, even the sapling's tranquil aura is unable to lighten the load. Or the nightmares. Tired, he makes no effort to sleep knowing what awaits him.

The waves lapping at the shoreline in their ebb and flow become the background to his thoughts which are interrupted when Tim slams into him without warning. Caught off guard, he blinks at the omen fluttering around him, mind back to the present. ]

... Tim?

[ He asks, sitting up, taking in his countenance, showing more energy than he's shown since—

His breath catches, and he has to reign himself in, careful not to let his hopes run away from him. ]

... What's wrong?

don't judge me for having a Timcanpy icon journal...

[timplex]

[ Wrong question!

He'd be a little agitated, panicked excitement in overdrive, if not for how the boy has been this entire time. Tim's smart; he always watches, always picks up on people and the things they don't realize they're letting slip. The things they might not even realize about themselves. Keeps their secrets. Always keeps their secrets. Stays nearby when they have nightmares. He's a good golem that way.

The boy is sad. He's not mad at the boy. He's been nice, staying here and keeping Tim company. His omen is nice too, keeping him company up here. She's good for a cat. Maybe cats aren't so bad. No, he definitely likes this cat. She has a calm presence he finds comforting, even if he can't really be comforted lately. But her boy shouldn't be sad, so Timcanpy stays near too. Allen shouldn't be sad. Allen's friends shouldn't be sad.

There's too much sadness.

So he becomes calm when Shouto stops and looks at him like that. See, you know. Don't you. It's okay. Maybe you don't want to risk that hope, but Timcanpy knows that hope. It's okay to have that hope, which is why he drifts closer. With one of his stubby little hands reaching out to almost pat him on the nose, and if Shouto raises his hand at all he'd brush it with tiny fingers.

Did you know Tim can make noises, Shouto? He can, beyond the grumbling little growl he did back in the catacombs. It's a little squeaking, almost mechanical gurgle. Gyahhgyahh. Chattering. Answering.

He knows you're a smart boy and will figure it out. Because he spins around then, taking off down the shoreline without any hesitation. ]

tbh, not even surprised

[swellter]

[ Calm like the ocean, Shouto waits for the initial burst of energy to ebb away. Tim settles down, drifting closer. He stills, breath caught in his throat when a stubby little hand reaches out to him. He exhales slowly, stomach clenching in anticipation as heat starts to churn within him. He reaches out. Tentatively. Meets that stubby little hand halfway feeling the weight of his conviction. ]

... Tim... is he...

[ A mechanical squeaking sound robs him of his voice. Pulled in by his gravity, the tides start to rise and the ocean comes alive. Tim doesn't wait for him to catch up, he spins around and zips away. Hope swells within him, bursting past the sadness, galvanizing him into action.

The pendulum swings left and he's running after him, heart in his throat, and a dash of brightness in his eyes. His senses gear up for a fight, interpreting the rush of adrenaline as a call to arms.

Shouto runs headlong through the beach, lungs burning from excitement, unable to catch his breath; a smile pulls at the corner of his mouth. Letting go of the guilt, he gets himself dragged along by Tim's optimism and lets himself hope. ]

[likethelight]

[ Tim doesn't end up going that far. Maybe it's because he's drawn to Allen and knew where he would reappear; maybe Allen was drawn to Tim. Maybe both; they've always been a unit like that.

It isn't like before though, where an already coherent Allen was hovering out by the rocks and looking for something to cover himself with. In fact, if not for the black sand it'd be hard to spot anything. White hair stands out starkly against it though in the moonlight, and the waves break around a body that lays prone. Still as a corpse that's drifted in with the tide.

But his eyes are open. Just slightly, hooded, disoriented -- but open. Stretched out on his stomach, head half pillowed against one of his arms. It's... warm, actually. Nice. It seems like he should be cold, it's night, but the sand is warm and the water soothing against his skin. The moonlight feels nice.

He can't quite remember how he got here or why, barely even who he is, but... it's soothing. He should get up, he knows that, but somehow it also feels like he can't right now. His limbs are too heavy.

Timcanpy beelines to him though as soon as he's seen him, some distance ahead of Shouto, and immediately butts into his head, making more squeaking, chattering sounds. Insistent. Mad!! Excited!! Crying!!

...and Allen blinks muzzily. Focusing finally on that with some recognition, especially as for a moment Tim blocks the entirety of his vision. ]

Tim... canpy?

[swellter]

[ The waves crash against the shoreline and in the distance, the full moon brings a figure to light. White hair against the black backdrop. Washed ashore. Tim erupting with glee, reaching for him, humming with more energy than he's seen him display in the last week.

The tides...

Footfalls sweep across the beach, flinging black sand in the air as he runs at full capacity. With his emotions riding him to the finish line, he's out of sync. Out of breath, heart thundering in his chest, he makes terrible timing. Tim reaches Allen long before he ever gets close. His form doesn't matter, only that he catches up to them.

The tides brought him back.

His steps start to slow, breath ragged, forcing more oxygen through his lungs giving some color to his cheeks to match the brightness in his eyes. He comes to a stop a few feet away. It's enough. To see Tim bursting with energy and Allen alive. He smiles down at the pair, high in spirits. Giving them room to simply be, while he works on controlling his breathing. Emotions completely out of sync, he looks like he ran a mile instead of a few dozen meters. Not that it matters, he's too busy gazing down the pair, heart bursting with relief and something close to joy. ]

[likethelight]

[ For the longest moment, Allen's just staring at Timcanpy as the golem continues to fret over and nearly combust with too many emotions over him with wide eyes as the reality of it continues to sink in. Died... he'd died. Not like before. Not slowly ebbing away under the moon, fading into an unconsciousness that felt like death even when it wasn't, when he had technically lived... But no, this time he'd actually -- ]

...!! [ He scoops up Tim and buries his face into him. Smooshing the little thing even if neither of them care and his cheek's wet from big, messy tears that Timcanpy cries against him. Where does the water even come from? It's better not to question it.

You died, too. A long time ago, because of choices he'd made. He also remembers that. He'd remembered before, but with everything that had been happening... he hadn't had the chance.. it hadn't really hit him yet. Not until now.

His face is wet not just from Tim's tears or the ocean, and it's hard to tell whether it's from the relief and joy to see him again, or the clinging terror of realization. He doesn't know. He really, genuinely doesn't know. Just that he needs to hug Timcanpy as tight as he can.

It means he doesn't notice Shouto's approach at first, not until he hears the sand being kicked up and sees his boots. Surprised, he lets Tim go and looks up. The boots, the uniform -- he knows who it is before he even sees his face and tries to struggle up faster because of it. Before he does and even after, it makes the large, very much new scar along his right side, one that he certainly didn't have the last time Shouto had patched him up, hit the moonlight in a way that's stark and garish. Angry, twisted skin that's anything but faded, and goes down both the length of his back and down his front. Like something very blunt had tried to split him in two and by all reason should have succeeded.

It's suspiciously close to where his sword had pierced through him and Dabi both.

He can only manage to get himself twisted partially up on an elbow, though he doesn't question why he can't seem to do any more than that. Too distracted at realizing it's Todoroki who's also found him so quickly, and...

...that he's smiling. He's smiling so bright and looks so happy. It makes Allen still for a moment, stunned and actually a little speechless. Had he ever seen him even look remotely like that? No, no he hasn't. He blinks, takes in a breath. Tries to process it. Tries to process all of it.

I died, and you were there too. You were crying.

He looks haunted or amazed, it's hard to tell. Maybe both. Too stunned to know. Still tearstained. ]

Todoro-- [ no ]

Shouto...

[swellter]

[ Giving them room to process each other, Shouto sets his hands on his knees to catch his breath, his heart still racing despite his top form. He's been waiting for this moment for so long, never allowed himself to think past finding him or he'd tailspin and think back to the pool of blood, burnt flesh. A death blow from each Todoroki.

Enough to fuel his nightmares when he was away from the sampling's tranquil aura. To think, he's always been afraid of hurting someone with his fire, always believing his ice was the safer option. Why hadn't he seen that in his vision?

His eyes catch sight of that jagged scar running from his throat down his chest, before disappearing below the lapping water. His breath catches, the smile disappearing. The last time he patched him up that scar wasn't there. His final attack was clean, impaling both he and Touya. No serrated edges running through the length of him almost as if he'd been slashed with the intent to cut him half.

Regression.

He nods at the address, his thoughts an array of questions he knows better than to ask. It robs him of the optimism Tim so easily instilled in him, bringing him back down to reality.

This is what death is.

He reminds himself. Falling into disparaging thoughts so far away from the sampling's calming aura.

He's here because of us. Touya and I. If I hadn't gotten involved... he would've saved him just like that Akuma.

The last remnants of joy are washed away by the turbulent sea. Sadness creeps back into his features, cooling the churning heat. ]

... I'm ... sorry.

[likethelight]

[ Dismayed at that, Allen's fingers dig into the wet sand under the water for a moment. No... come back. That brief window of rare joy passes so quickly into regret that he'd almost wonder if he imagined it. Come back...

All he ever would have wanted for him is something that would make him smile that way. The same thing he wishes for anyone, but didn't think he'd see in this case.

But he bites his lip when Shouto says that, conflicted. You don't need to apologize, is a given, but he knows better than to say that. A lot happened very quickly, he was disoriented from the battle with Dabi's beast form and the mounting fire damage, but... you attacked him, didn't you. That's what that was, a moment of losing control but also not trusting him, and... not something to just say "it's okay" for. Even Allen knows better than to actually say that and make light of someone's feelings.

I wanted you to trust me... but he'd never say that. It'd twist the knife in deeper when he already looks so stricken.

I'm sorry too... but he knows exactly how that would go.

He breathes out, perfectly still and never breaking eye contact as his own expression is one of gentle regret. ]

...I know.

[ It isn't something so easy to brush away. Not for either of them. It's just a feeling to accept.

He presses his lips together, trying to find a way to properly express the twisting mess in his chest. Now he does feel cold and a little small, but he doesn't let it get to him. Just pushes it aside and tries not to dwell on it for now. Yes, he knows that and this is something they're both going to have to carry, but... ]

But... [ Still holding himself perfectly still. Pale moonlight-grey eyes still on Shouto's mismatched ones. Hard to read, and he swallows. Tries to collect racing thoughts. ]

...I'm really happy to see you.

[swellter]

[ He understood too many things far too late. His intention to save his brother not kill him. The vision wasn't of Touya dying but Allen. White hair... he should have known it could be either one of them, but coming across Allen, boots on the caricature of Endeavor ready to stab him through like the Akuma... all Shouto saw was the Akuma turned to ash and a ghostly figure in the form of a young woman emerge before disappearing. Death, in any form, is still death. The end does not change just because intentions change. Allen called it saving the soul, Shouto saw both disappearing, their existence wiped. He couldn't let him do that to his brother.

Trust.

Trust is earned and while Shouto trusts him with his life, Touya's is different. He was rampaging inside the image of their father and Shouto had seen him use that sword to wipe out one existence, he couldn't see him do the same to his brother. He didn't mean to attack him, serrated blades flying in every direction, it wasn't a directed attack but an eruption. Still... he knows what he felt in that moment. The knowledge forefront in his mind now that he had a week to think it over. He didn't trust his version of saving. The Akuma they took down wasn't a creature he understood, so like any trained hero he let the expert take lead, it was from his world after all. But the end was not what he expected.

What does saving mean to you?

He should have asked him that before departing that day. Make sure they were on the same page, but he passed out and by the time he'd woken up again, Allen's bullet wounds had taken precedence. Given time, he would've asked him. But it stayed with him. His form of saving looked like death to him. So, when he saw Allen up there, ready to deliver his version of saving to his brother, all Shouto saw was another form of Death.

He meant to attack him.

A pillar of ice to knock him off. Dislodge him. He never meant to harm him. But intentions didn't amount to much when compared to your actions. If he attacked him, did he ever truly trust him?

Yes, you did.

Kizu interjects, pushing away the disparaging thoughts. Still, within the radius of the sapling's aura, her thoughts are calm, feeding off the tranquil aura to soothe his spiraling thoughts.

But I--

I know. Give yourself time to know yourself first.

... Okay.

Teal and grey meet the steady grey of midsummer storms.

You... deserved to be trusted. ]

Tim missed you. [ Truth between them. ] So, did I.

[ He steps into the ocean, the gentle waves washing over his boots attempting to drag him back to sea, but the spikes dig in and the receding waves leave him behind as he crouches down in front of Allen. ]

Can I carry you back? I brought a change of clothes. They're not that far from here.

[ Knees pressed against the black sand, Shouto waits for an answer before moving to pick him up out of the water and back to dry land. ]

[likethelight]

[ "So did I."

Allen's expression falters for a moment at that, before he bites his lip and hangs his head. He honestly had no idea how badly he needed to hear something like that. Half figuring -- half realizing... the other boy might be upset with him for getting so thoroughly embroiled in family affairs. (Your brother sure was.)

He looks up again when he steps into the waves, a little surprised but not really. And... blushes lightly when Shouto offers that, realizing the exact situation. Ah. Right.

Well there isn't even really a choice about that, is there. ]

...Yeah. I don't think I can move yet. [ It couldn't be more different from how he'd been in the same situation when Shouto had first found him on this beach; enough has happened between them that he doesn't protest that or become squirrely about it anymore.

And... his legs are heavy and not responding. It's unsettling, but... not entirely unexpected so he doesn't think too much of it. That's normal even for Sleepers waking up for the first time. He'd been uncoordinated on his feet then, so it might be harsher this time.

He doesn't miss the implication though, from him having brought something like a change of clothes that aren't here, and his expression becomes a little still because of it, pushing himself up a little straighter. Wait. Don't pick him up yet. ]

Were you waiting out here...?

[ But how long... had he...? ]

[swellter]

[ Patient. He waits for him. For the barricade of his thoughts to move through each spoken word, make sense of it before moving on. Death is not easy. It shouldn't be, so Shouto is patient. Waiting for him to speak and acknowledge his intentions before he takes action. Without knowing his state of mind, he eers on the side of caution.

Allen sits up, and he stills in turn, taking note of his expression, not quite sure where he's going with this line of inquiry but answering nonetheless. ]

Tim... and I.

[ He answers softly as the water laps at his knees, warm like a gentle embrace. ]

[likethelight]

[ He did wait. And... it wasn't a short amount of time. Dark circles under the eyes like when his friend went missing before, like he hasn't been able to sleep. Except it isn't just that, not just the physical wear; there's such a deep, but raw sort of sadness around him too. A subtle shift, the kind a haunted person can get when facing their fears.

It hurts to realize, but is also so very striking.

He doesn't ask how long it was, how long he was dead, because that isn't the more important thing right now. The more important thing, as he processes that with a startled sort of realization on his face... is why he throws himself forward suddenly.

Thin but strong arms wrap around Shouto's neck, pulling him into such a tight but desperate hug as much as Allen also somewhat falls against him, overbalanced without the use of his legs. Everything else can wait right now, this is more important. ]

I'm sorry... [ Grief, relief, gratitude, terror, sadness, empathy that's crushing; love. It's whispered soft and a little rough next to his neck, face tucked against the crook of it. He's still wet from the ocean, and he'll probably sheepishly apologize for it later. At least, that's probably why Shouto's neck is going to get wet.

Probably. But some might feel warmer and fresher than the seawater should be, and there's a slight hitch in his voice. ]

For making you feel like you might have lost a friend again...

[ "Thinking you might have lost a friend... it's scary."
"It stays with you... even after you've found them. The fear."

His grip tightens, fingers curling into the other boy's uniform. ]

...I'm sorry too.

[swellter]

[ Allen throws himself forward so unexpectedly he's left pitching forward into his thin frame before taking heed and keeping upright, reversing their position. Arms wrap around him, holding him to his larger frame, letting him rest there. He's left dazed in the aftermath, captured by the scent of the ocean mixed in with the sound of his breath near his ear. Still taking it all in, he's caught off guard by the whispered apology in the crook of his neck.

His breath stops.

Why... why are you apologizing?

Tension creeps into his shoulder and tightens in his chest until it all unravels by the next revelation. He remembers that day in the catacombs. His inquiry about Midoriya. Their subsequent discourse on losing a friend. How the fear stays with you.

Left stunned, it takes him a moment to make sense of his mind, then another to make sense of his. His fingers loosen their hold on him, no longer holding him so tight, as the anxiety eases slightly from his shoulders.

Calmly, his thoughts ease back into a semblance of order, catching the way his fingers tighten their grip, the hitch in his throat, and quietly sets a hand on the back of his neck. His left side activates, raising his temperature to keep him warm. He holds him there, letting the heat sink into his bones, listening to the waves crash against the shore. A moment's contentment before a break in the surf. ]

You're not responsible for how I feel.

[ Eyes lifted up to the moon, listening to his breathing, warm against his throat. ]

Or what I do.

[likethelight]

[ He feels warm... Allen blinks for a moment at that, the hand on the back of his neck, before he realizes Shouto is using his ability to keep him warm. It's nice... and for a moment he just lets his eyes close. He hadn't even realized the pervasive sort of chill being in the water so long had left him with, cool down to his bones, and he relaxes finally under that warmth.

But that sort of response... lump still in his throat, it actually makes him chuckle weakly against his neck. Sheepishly. ]

I know... [ It's silly of him, isn't it? And yet... this is also just how he feels. It isn't some judgement or guilt-trip of his. It's just... how he feels. Plain and simply. He's always been a very simple person in that regard, moved by the sadness that's in front of him. Feeling sorry for the person feeling it. Feeling it himself. Wanting to help and make it better.

Even when it's a total stranger. ]

It isn't something that's rational like that. I just -- [ He just... what? It isn't that he can't find an answer, it's that there are so many that come to the tip of his tongue and yet none of them feel entirely right. The usual reasons are outright wrong. It isn't like him, usually so adept and eloquent with his own thoughts and feelings. But they're a jumble. Is that what death is?

Yes, it is. He knows, because it isn't his first time trying to make sense of that jumble. The kind that leaves you reeling and scattered still by the revelation of death. He's seen and lived through so much brutality, so much death in his life, even having felt death before, so much... so much and yet... it never prepares you for this. Trying to pick up all the pieces from it after. The gratitude at still being alive mixed with the terror. And entire rainbow kaleidoscope of every emotion jumbled together.

I just don't like seeing you in pain, that's one that's strong above the rest, but he holds his tongue. It also isn't quite right.

He breathes out, just hugging the other boy a little tighter and touching the back of his head for a moment, fingertips brushing lightly against dualtone hair. It's the only expression that does feel right. ]

...I don't know.

[swellter]

[ His fingers curl around the white strands soft as a fresh snowfall. Cool and light like his brother's. Sister. Mother. There's a comfort there, yet still just as distant. When was the last time he hugged Fuyumi? Natsuo? He can't remember. Touya tried to burn him alive the first he hugged him. What had Kizu asked Bakugou and Ochako when they first arrived while he was sleeping?

Do you like hugs?

They'd been so thrown off it'd made their subsequent reunion all the more difficult.

Why did you ask that?

No answer. Not that he expected one. He doesn't press the issue far too enveloped in the present to linger pn the past. He lets go of the thought and lets himself lean into the foreign touch. ]

I think... I understand.

[ This time it's he who apologizes. ]

I'm sorry too... for not trusting you.

[likethelight]

[ It's funny... fingers in his hair make him blink for a moment, becoming a little quiet. Rare are the times he's ever been hugged, rarer still when he's hugged someone else, and... never at all, someone's fingers in his hair. Sort of, when his master had pulled him somewhat roughly by a hand at the back of his head into a loose embrace, but... his head was too much of a jumble both at Cross's rare sentimentality and the bombshell he had dropped at the time. And Johnny would ruffle his hair like a dog sometimes, but... those were different. Something gentler -- it's kind of like the sort of thing you'd imagine a mother might do for their child, if he'd ever had a mother. Maybe that's why it's so foreign.

It's... nice. And he lets his eyes close and just breathes for a moment, tension bleeding off him. Not his first time being hugged, no, but the first time he's let himself be held as much as he also holds on.

"I'm sorry too... for not trusting you." ]

Mm... [ It's a soft, uneasy sort of murmur of acknowledgement. Eyes fluttering open even if only looking out over the edge of Shouto's shoulder at nothing in particular. It's a heavy sort of thing to acknowledge, the thing that hurt him the most about the way that everything had happened, but...

He breathes out, a little shakily but in a steadying manner. ]

It's alright though... [ With a slightly tighter squeeze, he buries his head against his shoulder again and says it softly, running his fingers lightly through the other boy's hair in a reassuring manner. More certain of himself this time, with fingers carding lightly through white and red strands before he lets his palm rest there. Something so somber but sweet both in his mannerism.

Yes, it hurt him. A lot. But... it's okay. Forgiveness isn't even a question. ]

You're still my friend. [ I still trust you. ]

[swellter]

[ Forgiveness isn't something he's willing to accept. Not like this; unearned. Given by the grace of his order. Western priests dispense it in every sermon from what he knows and he can't find it in himself to take what's freely offered. Not without repentance. Isn't that how it's supposed to go? ]

It's not okay.

[ He wants to pull away and break the contact. If he wasn't buried in the crook of his shoulder he might have attempted it. Created distance, but starved of genuine human connection, he stays. Reassured by the tender touch, while finding issue with his words; a familiar contrast warring inside him somehow finding a tentative balance. ]

We killed you.

[likethelight]

[ It's easier like this, honestly. Having this sort of conversation face to face right now... no. Not just for that, but... with struggling to try and find how to best express himself -- holding on like this and trying to offer what little comfort he can while also being comforted... it's the only sort of expression of all those conflicted feelings that actually makes sense right now. That feels right and true.

Also, he's not sure if he could let go just yet.

But he bites his lip slightly at that. Killed him. He knows that, as fast and fuzzy as those literal seconds were, but... ]

Did you want to?

[swellter]

[ Shouto struggles to stay at equilibrium. Recalling all the burns he suffered, his limbs turned to ash. Paleblood ran down his side from wounds left behind by melted ice. Death delivered by the elder and the younger. Fire and ice.

Yet, he easily sweeps it aside as if it didn't matter. As if his life doesn't matter. That is what he takes issue with. Not his creed. Not his deeds but his words. Dismissive of himself. That question only exacerbates his feelings and it starts the pendulum swinging.

His head snaps up, denial in his eyes. ]

No!

[ Horror-struck. The heat stops generating and he clings to him, fingers growing cold as they dig into his skin lost for words at the very idea that he'd strike at him - at anyone - with the intent to kill! ]

[likethelight]

[ He really does literally become cold... He'd started to realize that before, the temperature gradient with his emotional swings, but it's utterly obvious like this that it makes him blink. He gives a small nod at that answer, just hugging him a little tighter at first in response, fingers splaying and threading through hair, cheek pressed to neck as he lets himself lean in. Trying to increase contact in an instinctive desire to warm the cold.

And trying to measure his response earlier. Read between the lines and understand. You don't want to forgive yourself so easily, so... ]

Then... what do you want to do about it? [ Genuine, gentle, serious.

If that is how you feel and it isn't such an easy thing you can't just say "I'm sorry" for in order to make okay... what do you want to do about it? ]

[swellter]

[ Allen pressing closer is a two-fold affair. The urge to push away the source of his objection versus the instinctual yearning to draw closer to the offered tenderness. In the end it's not the offer of warmth that sways him, but the feel of fingers threading through his hair like his mother once did.

The drop in temperature stops sliding down the scale, slowly stabilizing with his thoughts. ]

... I want to help you... recover.

If I can.

[ If you'll let me. ]

[likethelight]

[ It's honestly kind of fascinating. Experiencing such an actual, literal shift in someone's temperature -- or, rather, realizing what it means. And he closes his eyes in some relief when he stops becoming colder and seems to hesitate, just listening to the other breathe for a moment. Count heartbeats. One... two... ]

Okay. [ He gives a small nod, fingers shifting through his hair to press him lightly closer. Acknowledgement. ]

I think I'd like that.

[ Not someone helping to take care of him, in the past he's honestly hated that because of feeling like a burden a lot, but... spending time together. A part of him wants to smile and point out that Shouto did promise him they'd spend time together doing something that wasn't fighting their way through something terrible, something fun, but... this doesn't seem like the right time or place. Something still too fragile between them.

But this is okay. This is a start. ]

[swellter]

[ His muscles go lax absorbing the warmth offered by the other boy with his quirk no longer dropping his temperature. He lets himself relax, fingers loosen their grip as he falls back to equilibrium.

With his thoughts no longer bracketed by grief and guilt, he starts to notice a few things such as his water-logged state and the fact that the boy he's clinging to is likely cold due to his state of undress, which is another thing he notices but doesn't pay any mind to. Nudity is common among same-sex groups in public bathhouses and locker rooms. Not so common to cling to each other in that state but being fully clothed Shouto isn't bothered by it.

Reluctantly, he disturbs the peaceful lull. He breaks the contact by raising his head, and almost as recompense, he activates his left side to warm him. Mismatched eyes lock with his, subtle and earnest, flecked with fondness, as he asks the same question that's popped up, in various forms, every time they've met so far: ]

Can I carry you back?

[likethelight]

[ Honestly, the state of themselves and everything else is something that literally doesn't occur to Allen in the slightest until Shouto reluctantly starts to pull back. It's how it always is with him; he forgets the world when his heart is moved by what's in front of him. Sometimes forgetting an entire roomful of people might be there and spectating when he's speaking earnestly with someone. Or that some tender touch technically has an audience he entirely forgot about until someone cracks wise.

The world doesn't matter in those moments. It's why he's actually a very simple sort of person.

Except maybe the stranger thing is he doesn't actually mind. There's a reflexive sort of sheepishness when he also pulls back a little to look at him, realizing that ah right, he hugged someone while... technically not having any clothes on... and despite the eastern-style same-sex baths the Order had had nudity is decidedly not something Allen is anywhere near as used to or comfortable with... But honestly? He actually doesn't care, and just smiles lightly when Shouto's eyes settle on his; gentle and acknowledging. Even if, that request...

-- he laughs lightly at that. A small, genuine, happy, relieved sort of laugh that feels like it cracks something loose in his chest. Haha... Always, always. ]

Mm. [ It's likewise fond, head cocked to the side and a small and radiant laugh still in his tone. ] Sure.

[ Yes. This time, sure. ]

[swellter]

[ He stares, a bit confused, but he's growing used to his cheerful outbursts, so he doesn't question it, merely adding it to his ever-evolving view. He's a lot more expressive than him. Like Uraraka, Bakugou and Midoriya... and maybe a lot (all of) his friends. He's pulled back from those thoughts when another hearty laugh spills from his lips drawing his attention back to him.

He has a nice laugh.

There's an indulgent fondness in his eyes accompanied by a small pull at the corner of his mouth; a barely-there smile, faint but present. It stays there as he scoops him up into his arms and stands up easily with him in tow. Water streams down his torso and into water-logged boots but it's easily ignored in favor of taking in his radiant features.

Is this how all priests are where he's from?

He thinks he might like Exorcists if that's the case, at least the ones like Allen.

Without a word, he starts walking down the beach radiating a gentle heat to guard against the chill. ]

Thank you. For saving my brother.