deercountry | ( CLOSED ) MY LONELINESS IS KILLING ME.

( stefan looks down at nadia and nods before heading towards the door. it doesn't take long before he's opening the door to luca's room and before he steps inside, he stops and swallows. )

Don't come in here, Katherine.

( because the room wasn't empty. )

[ katherine and nadia follow stefan. she jostles nadia slightly, hoping it's enough to wake her. but she remains curled against her shoulder, a cold, weightlessness that she isn't quite sure she likes.

brows furrowing at his request, katherine comes to stand behind him. ]

Why not?

[ she thinks she knows why. she doesn't want to think it true. ]

Because.

( he doesn't even know what to say or how to say it. luca's so small there, bigger than he remembers, but still. )

The room isn't empty.

[ is that supposed to deter her?

even with a nadia who isn't quite as vibrant as nadia has come to be in her arms, katherine still doesn't find herself feeling overly uncertain by the presence of another in the room. that's good news.

she moves forward. ]

Who is it?

It's...don't worry about it, Katherine.

( yes, that's going to work. it's not but he tries to stand in front of her so she can't see this. )

Maybe you should take her back to her room. I think it might be the best thing.

[ she readjusts nadia against her hip, wanting to keep her tucked against her so she doesn't flutter away. ]

Why?

[ katherine ensures to make her voice sound firm and unchallenging. why won't he let her step in? why won't he let her see what—or who—is in the room? while she has an inkling as to who it is, she wants to hear their name and see them for herself. ]

Katherine.

( stefan turns around, still using his size to block the door a bit. )

Please. I don't want you to see this, all right? You don't deserve it.

[ although katherine's tempted to barge through and see what and who he's trying to block her from, she spares him that pain for now. with nadia in her arms, she doesn't particularly want to upset her when she seems to be so strange.

she looks at him, jaw tense. ]

Is it him?

Yeah.

( he'd only seen the side of his face, his profile but he knows that it's luca. he swallows and looks down before he glances back at katherine. )

It's him.

[ that doesn't exactly make katherine not want to enter the room. but she knows that she can't go in guns a-blazing. she needs to be smart. she needs a plan.

she only needs a plan because the trench has seemingly brought nadia back all wrong.

she purses her lips for a moment before she asks as bravely as she can: ]

Does he look wrong?

Yes.

( god, he wishes that he could say something else. he wishes he could tell her that he looks fine but it's not true. he swallows, shakes his head. )

He looks...different. I don't want you to see if you don't have to.

( but he knows that he can't keep her from luca. that's not fair. )

[ considering the number of times they've had the opportunity to see him, she doesn't particularly wish to pass this one up. luca is as foreign to her as nadia once was. she thinks that things can be better. she's lived through lifetimes of impossibilities only to find that so much of it was possible.

she readjusts nadia to her other hip and ignores the way her daughter doesn't even play with her hair. ]

I want to see him.

Katherine.

( he takes a breath and lowers his head because he knows she deserves to see him but he doesn't want her hurting because of what she sees. )

Are you sure?

I want to see him.

[ it bears repeating. that's her answer—she wants to see luca. is she sure? no. but she doesn't want stefan to be the only one who's seen luca again, no matter how he may look.

he may not look so bad. maybe he looks a little discoloured like he's not used to appearing from one place to another in such a way. it could be as simple as that. ]

( stefan swallows and nods. he doesn't move right away, standing there and looking at little nadia on her hip before he steps aside.

when she walks in, she'll find luca sitting on the edge of his bed, down at the end, head bowed and shoulders hunched. he's pale and looks thinner than he shoulder. his hair is matted and his lips are thin and severe. )

I'm right here.

[ she's seen plenty of horrid things in her life. her parents contorted in a way that she had never wished even on her father. but she dislikes seeing it in her kids. katherine's beginning to realise she understands her mother even more now, of how it had felt to see her family twist itself so tightly before it seemed to unravel.

she stands a little in the room, looking at a little boy who doesn't seem overly familiar despite his familiarity. this isn't how she had wished to see a young luca. she wanted to see him vibrant and alive and tugging at stefan's pant leg. ]

Do you think he knows his name?

I don't know.

( but stefan steps in front of her and then crouches in front of luca. he doesn't touch but he does his best to catch the little boy's eye. )

Luca.

( he blinks slowly, dully but doesn't respond. )

Luca, it's okay.

( nothing. )

[ she grips nadia a little tighter before realising what she's doing. loosening her grip, she looks at luca and stefan and dislikes the way there seems to be no connection. this isn't how it's meant to go. ]

Let me.

[ katherine steps closer to stefan and lowers nadia onto the side of the bed beside luca. letting her rest against him, she sits on her knees and looks at the two of them as they sit there. ]

Do you know who this is? [ she brushes her fingers against luca's knee. ] This is Nadia.

( if anything, luca slumps a little more, twisting his knee to get away from her touch. stefan swallows because he hates this, he hates seeing it and he knows it's this place's fault. )

Are they sick?

( he wants to be able to fix it. why can't he just fix whatever's wrong with them? )

It doesn't look like anything I've seen before.

[ the plague, influenza... katherine's had the luxury of immortality that kept her safe, but she hadn't been able to forget what it looked like to see the people she cared about die from something she may not have been able to prevent.

she ensures to keep her expression neutral and her voice even more so. ]

It's probably something this place has done. It's always this place.

So, what do we do?

( he knows that she won't know what to do but he hates feeling helpless and at least asking questions makes him feel like he's doing something.

it's not enough though. he sighs and rubs his face before he reaches out and rests a hand near luca's leg. )

Wake up, you two. Please.

[ as the one who has lived too many lifetimes, she wishes she had the answer. she's the one with the witch background, the one who has seen the original hybrid at his weakest and most human… and yet, she doesn't know how to fix this. katherine has a plan for mostly everything, and while some of those plans involved fleeing, many of them involved staying and meddling.

she has no idea what to do here. ]

I don't think they're asleep, Stefan.

[ she wishes that they were. ]

Maybe… [ with a purse to her lips, she considers what she wants to say. it may not be smart, but it's the only option they have. ] Maybe we can see what they might be dreaming of.

Do you think that's safe?

( he looks at both of them sitting there on the bed, lethargic and barely there. he doesn't like it. he wishes they could look like literally anything else but this. )

To go into their heads like that?

[ she wants to say yes, but katherine doesn't know. lying would make them both feel comfortable and at ease, but she knows he knows that this is unknown territory. being as upfront as possible seems to be working. that's what's stefan's taught her over the last year.

quietly, ] I don't know.

[ she really hates that she doesn't know. ]

But it's worth a try, isn't it?

Yeah.

( yeah, it's definitely worth a try. stefan doesn't have any other ideas himself so sliding into their heads is the only thing worth trying even if there's a risk.

he swallows. )

Do you want me to go with you or wait out here?

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