you're never coming back

[zib]

Who: Zib and maybe even you! This is an OPEN log for everyone who wants to get involved /o/
What: Mostly studying butterflies and skeletons, and then beast hood shenanigans thanks to the portals from the event
When: During the month of April
Where: Tends to hang out around Disaster House, but the prompt with beast corruption will be throughout Trench, see inside for further details

Content Warnings: despair/potential suicidal ideation because of the butterflies, skeletons(???), paranoia/hallucinations, obsession, insect/alien body horror per beast hood corruption, parental neglect, will add more if they come up



[So Zib has been... well, not well. He's been showing some signs of undergoing the corruption that others have here and there in the form of the extra green arms he's been walking around with lately, and with some strange lines that have formed against his face, arms, anywhere that he allows any skin to expose that take the shape of something reminiscent of spider-web cracks.

Like as if his body is merely a cocoon and something is bursting at the seams waiting for the right type to hatch.

But, thankfully, Zib had started out being at least semi-aware that he was very much stretching the definition of being "okay" in any way, shape, or form. He's told a few people about it rather than hiding it, at least, and has tried to find things that he actually enjoys to see if it helps any or at least serves as a nice enough distraction for now.

However... it seems that April has other ideas.]

[ooc: Toplevels with what's happening with Zib will be below with their own headers! They're all mostly related to the event, but if you want a closed thread with Zib that falls outside of the prompts offered, hit me up and I'll make it happen! I've also got Zib's plotting stuff for the event over here that you're free to go to for info or hit me up on as well!]

Comments

Butterflies (cw: despair/potential suicidal ideation, paranoia and hallucinations, a skeleton)

[zib]

[You know what's something that Zib genuinely enjoys that has nothing to do with his Zim obsession? Cryptids, and studying any other paranormal entities that remind him of such things. And if his omen and network handle wasn't a dead giveaway, his favorite one of all time is Mothman and thus, he's naturally curious about anything that vaguely reminds him of that cryptid.

So when these strange but beautiful butterflies appear in Trench, he naturally takes to wanting to study and take photos of them. And he's in luck: one ends up choosing his little Tak Runner ship to land on top of, giving Zib the perfect opportunity to get some very nice candid shots and write up notes. He isn't hiding the extra pair of arms he's been stuck with recently for this, using them to record information while he can continue taking pictures with the other pair.

So hey, maybe Zib will find a way to cheer up significantly from this, right?]

For once, this place actually has something worth looking at. And it hasn't even tried to kill us yet! Fancy that... I wonder if we can see if there's any powder on their wings we can take as a sample. What do you think, other Dib?

[However, it seems he isn't alone, as someone will find him talking to... uh. Is that... a skeleton? Indeed, there appears to be a skeleton that's casually propped up next to him pointed in the direction of the ship, as if it too is looking at the butterfly. And upon closer inspection, it's... uh, it appears to be wearing the same clothes Zib is wearing, and even has a pair of glasses sitting on it. Same height as Zib too, so... you probably only need one guess of whose skeleton this is, as after a pause, Zib frowns, as if suddenly offended.]

Okay, first of all, if anyone here has a head the size of a soccer mom's van, it's you, not me! Secondly, you can keep your negative commentary to yourself if all you're going to contribute to the conversation is telling me how I'm gonna die miserably like you did. I've already told you that it doesn't help like, at all... [Another pause. He hasn't looked away from the butterfly here as he finds himself lowering his camera suddenly, responding--] Even if you're probably right. We are doomed to suffer in every reality in some way, after all. It's only a matter of time for this place too.

[... Uh, so maybe Zib is not okay at all, in fact, if he's apparently been holding such morbid conversations with what appears to be a skeleton of his own self while staring at the despair butterflies??]

I THOUGHT I had replied this morning, but oh well.

[imaglyphwitch]

[So on the plus side, Luz was actually super happy that she didn't have to go far to stop some of the butterfly captivations: someone was dealing with it right outside of her house, after all. She hadn't expected it to be Zib of course, but at least she could try and help him out, right?

Except wow, she was really not at all expecting the scene right before her. Zib being his usual inquisitive self? Sure. A body that was all bones, that actually LOOKED like Zib though? That was very unexpected and, frankly, worrying. How did that even happen]?

Uh, Zib? Hey. Who's uh, the stiff?

[Heh. Ok. Humor. They could start there].

cw: the usual of invader zim being a hell of a canon

[zib]

Oh, hi Luz.

[Zib gestures to the skeleton with a free hand in a rather bored manner. He hasn't broken eye contact from observing the butterfly yet.]

That's just another me from a different timeline--if I remember correctly, I think that's the one where Zim succeeded in taking over the Earth and the me in that version of events died from being left to rot in a jail cell? I don't really remember all of the details, I only saw it when I accidentally crossed into that timeline briefly and ended up stuck in the same jail cell with this skeleton for six months... but then I found it again outside my ship after I came back from the catacombs last month. Anyway, as you can see, he's not a very good conversation partner.

[He says all of this rather casually, as if this is a perfectly normal thing to have happen to a person.]

Re: cw: the usual of invader zim being a hell of a canon

[imaglyphwitch]

Hello!

[Luz is trying to sound as energetic and peppy as she can, because it definitely didn't feel like the ideal situation was happening right now].

Nope, that would definitely not be someone I'd be wanting to have a deep conversation with. I'm surprised you're even doing that. You don't find that a little creepy at all?

[Luz would NOT want to have a conversation with herself, dead or otherwise. She'd had enough of that in Deerington that one time].

[zib]

Normally I wouldn't even keep it so much as talk to it, but then I figured it might actually be useful for my research into timelines and other realities here. After all, if this place was able to make it appear here, then there should be a means to do the reverse and allow ourselves to be moved from here back to our own worlds.

[A pause, and then--]

Also, he started first--he hasn't been able to shut up and leave me alone for the last few days instead of staying quiet. It's very annoying and...

[He suddenly stops talking, and then proceeds to hold a hand up toward the skeleton.]

Seriously, stop trying to interrupt me, other Dib. I'm in the middle of something and you're distracting me too much to be useful right now.

[The skeleton just... sits there, for it is just a skeleton that cannot move or even talk.]

Anyway, where was I... oh, you know what, enough about that, it's not important anyway. Not that anything is, really, when you think about it. Especially not me or a dead version of me in comparison to this butterfly right here.

[He points in the direction of his ship again, where he has still been observing it and making very little breaks in eye contact with it the entire time he's been rambling.]

[imaglyphwitch]

Um, Dib? Don't you think you should be a little bothered by seeing a dead version of you? And then even more bothered that it can talk to you in the first place? In fact, now that I think about it, how can you hear it?

[She was pretty sure that Dib wasn't a Paleblood, so thought speak would be out. So how exactly was Dib managing...oh. Oh no].

The butterflies. They're making you hear him.

And who ever said you weren't important? I definitely didn't. If skeleton Dib could talk, I'm sure he'd agree with that too.

[zib]

No, he wouldn't. He was pretty rude when we were trapped with his skeleton in a cell together for six months too.

[... Dib has a lot of self loathing issues, even when butterflies are not throwing his emotions out of whack.]

'Sides, nobody had to say it. I just know that I'm not that important, in the grand scheme of things. As far as the universe is concerned, I'm just another insignificant speck of dust in the vastness of space, no matter what I do.

Wonderkind; A (cw: familial/parental neglect)

[zib]

[When the portals first appear, at first Zib is ecstatic. This is the chance he has been looking for this whole time, finding a means to acquire the goods to create ones on his own, or by finding one on his own that he can use to slip into and escape into a timeline that will allow him to reach Zim once again. He quickly runs all over Trench, trying to poke his head into every single one he comes across to look for any sign that it's a reality that would suit his needs.

However, all of the ones he's come across so far have been fruitless, depicting either alien planets that don't appear to have what he's looking for, or are too hostile to consider... and even the ones he did try to stick his hand in and pull himself in wouldn't let him, as if there was some kind of invisible barrier keeping him out.

And then he suddenly freezes. He's come across a portal that, after a moment of staring, he realizes is a familiar location. A kitchen in someone's house. His kitchen in his house, on Earth.

And right there, at the kitchen table, is his sister. She's eating a slice of pizza, eyes on a gameboy in her hands. And coming around from behind her to sit across her, his dad takes a seat with his own slice of pizza.]

Gaz? ... Dad?

[Gaz doesn't even look up from her game, as if she didn't hear him... or rather, as if she didn't deem the sound of his voice important enough to bother looking up from her game. His dad, however, does look up, and sees him.]

"Oh, if it isn't my boy child! What are you doing all the way over there in... uh, some ocean town? ... Hold on, were you playing around with my Molecular Teleporter again? I thought I told you that was off-limits!"

Wh--no, Dad, I'm not at "some ocean town", I'm in, like, another reality entirely! With monsters and everything! I--I need your help! I can't get through to you, so I need you to do something so I can leave and--

[And that's when his Dad holds up a hand, cutting him off.]

"Son, how many times have I told you that monsters are not real? It's bad enough that it looks like you went and stole one of my inventions, I don't need you making up stories about it. Now just open the back of the device, reverse the polarity, and then zap yourself back home. You know how important it is to be here for our family dinners every month, and being this late is inexcusable--we only get to do these once a month, after all. We'll have a talk about this when you get back, but until then--"

[And that's when the portal chooses this moment to close on Zib. It seems time was up on this one by the time Zib had found and discovered it, and for a long moment he just stares at the spot where the portal once was in disbelief.

So much for getting to exchange words with a loved one at least, huh?]

[entreats]

[ .. ouch.

Honestly, it would have been awkward even if there was some sort of loving exchange there. Ange would have felt way too much like she was listening in on something entirely personal anyway, even though it sure wasn't her intention. It was just that she was walking across the street and managed to catch a glimpse of that conversation, and - upon realising she recognized one of the voices involved in it - couldn't help but stop and listen a little.

But now? It's doubly awkward. Even though Ange isn't really learning something new, given what Zib had said about his family before, hearing something like this is still a little..

Well. Not great. Especially considering her own terrible family experiences.

Ignoring it and leaving him alone just doesn't feel like the right thing to do here. So even though she knows it's also the awkward option here, Ange still approaches Zib, at first slowly clearing her throat to try and catch his attention after all that, and then speaking up. ]

.. sorry. That was pretty crappy.

[ Her tone still sounds a little weak. Which could be sympathy, but it's also easy to blame on the fact that she's probably not fully recovered from last month in the first place. ]

[zib]

[He jumps a little when he hears the sound of Ange clearing her throat--oh great, not only did he just have to experience that embarrassment, but someone else was also witness to it too.

Zib is at least a little relieved though that it was just Ange--sure, he's still embarrassed, but... well. This is practically nothing in comparison to what he knows of Ange's own circumstances, and there's a strange part of him that feels guilty at the idea of complaining about his family right in front of her.

As such, he gives a very awkward-sounding laugh in an attempt to act like he's fine, scratching at the back of his neck.]

Yeah, that was... uh, not great. But I can't say that I'm surprised really, thinking about it. Dad probably didn't have enough time to notice that I don't look like... well, like normal.

[He says, with a gesture to the PAK, the holes in his coat for the extra arms that like to burst out at random lately, and generally just looking worn down like he's been sleeping in the woods or something lately. Which he very well might have been at some point this week, knowing Zib.]

[entreats]

[ Yeah, for real. It's one thing to not miss something small about your kid, but it's not like there's only something small wrong with Zib here. Sorry for the assessment, dude, but it's just the truth.

This isn't the sort of thing a parent should look at and be totally indifferent about. It's instantly noticeable about the other, in Ange's opinion. ]

Hey. [ It's why she speaks up like this, rather than going along with his awkwardness. Rather than pretending what he's saying is totally possible and likely. ] Listen, if this is a coping sort of thing, I get it.

[ That's valid. Ange knows that sometimes you just need ways of coping with crappy situations, even if said coping ways are ridiculous. ]

But if it isn't.. then there's no way it's just that. How could he see you looking like this and assume nothing is wrong? He called you his boy child! [ Unless that's a term of endearment.

But then it sure is the weirdest one Ange has ever seen. ]

[zib]

Huh? Oh, yeah, he does that sometimes, though most commonly it's "son" when we talk...

[... There is a very unfortunate implication here that Professor Membrane doesn't call Dib by his own name very often, if at all in fact.

The thought does occur to Zib too, however, and after a moment he looks away, still scratching at the back of his neck awkwardly.]

That wasn't my real dad anyway--or rather, he's not the one from my universe, I think? That portal was more likely just a glimpse into another reality where he and my sister are still alive.

[And yet, given the way Zib and his Dad were talking to each other, this sounds like a conversation that would have happened even if it had been his same Dad from Zib's own timeline, so that's a pretty weak defense.]

[entreats]

.. he still knew it was you though. [ So indeed - it's a weak excuse, since even if it wouldn't be the same world, it'd still be a world where Zib exists.

And where his dad treats him that way.

It's said with something a little softer around the edges though, since Ange is very rapidly realising that this is probably a coping method. Even if Zib doesn't openly admit to it, the way he's trying to find excuses for it is very, very telling. Especially to someone like Ange. ]

Aren't you mad about it?

[ Granted, the question is more do you not want to be mad about it, given these coping methods. Given the way he's making excuses for it. Is it easier on Zib to just write this all off?

.. maybe not. If Ange's own experience is anything to go by, the feelings will still fester deep down anyway, no matter what you try to tell yourself. ]

Wonderkind; B (the b stands for beast hood lol, cw: insect/alien body horror and obsession)

[zib]

[At this point, trying to find a portal that suits his needs is starting to frustrate him severely. Those cracks that have been forming on his body growing thicker, parts of his back now bulging outward a bit as if something under his skin is desperate to claw free. He bites at the inside of his cheek from the irritating pain, hard enough to draw blood that runs down his chin. He idly scratches at his face and arms, hard enough to draw more blood and send the rather overwhelming scent of dying flowers around him...

And then he spots a flash of green from a portal on the ground and stops. No, surely not...

But sure enough, as he comes closer, he sees it again, and upon closer inspection it appears to be a person. A green person.]

... Zim! Zim, it's me! Get over here right now!!

[Zim on the other side doesn't seem to have heard him yet--the other appears to be distracted, running from something on the other side of the portal. And after a few seconds, it becomes apparent why--a Dib comes into view, chasing after Zim and shouting after him. And in this moment, he thinks he recognizes them both now--they look like the same Dib and Zim that had shown up in his reality and ruined all of his plans.]

"You'll never get away with this, Zim!"

"Oh yeah? Just try and stop me, pitiful Dib human!!"

[Zib watches with wide eyes as Dib catches up and the two of them start fighting over something, oblivious to Zib watching in on them from the other side of the portal. They're both shouting different insults and declarations over who is going to win, and the longer Zib watches... the more he starts to seethe.

It isn't fair. It isn't fair that this version of himself gets to still have his family, gets to still have his fights with Zim, while Zib is the one trapped here in this place without either. Even though Zib was the smarter one of all the versions of themself that existed across multiple timelines and realities, the one who had been willing to actually get the job done of saving the Earth no matter the cost. Who still wasn't done with erasing and getting rid of them entirely, especially this one that had ruined everything.

Before he's even aware of what he's doing, he's started trying to dig his hands into the portal where it sits against the ground, trying to claw his way past whatever invisible barrier is keeping them from getting inside.]

Let me in... Let me in let me in LET ME IN!! YOU CAN'T KEEP ME OUT FOREVER!!

[He's screaming the words now, over and over, as he continues digging his hands against it. His PAK even starts trying to assist, the sharp legs stabbing into the spot, but it's not enough, it's not enough... and that's when his back suddenly splits open, long spider-like looking limbs emerging that raise him up higher as he looms over the portal here, a manic grin beginning to split his face too as the cracks there start to bleed at the edges. A large amount of vileblood has started spilling onto the ground as a result, and upon close inspection, it looks like the vileblood is actually eating away at the tatters of his coat and the ground. It's not just rotting the plant life, it's as if it's actually melting it down to nothing when coming in contact...

Someone should probably stop him.]

[laminae]

[Fern knows what it's like to hinge all your hopes on portals. That had been the case when he and Varian decided to build a portal to help everyone back in Deerington, and then later when the dream was breaking down and people were leaving. Even now the whole creepy eldritch ocean causes him a lot of consternation, doubly so when someone he knows returns to it.

He's been avoiding the portals that have appeared, not wanting to accidentally go through one and wind up back in Ooo. He's made a life and a home here, he doesn't need that place anymore. That's what he's trying to do when he comes across Zib, frantically trying to break through one of them, screaming like he's having a complete breakdown.

It goes without saying that Fern is racing over to Zib, even as his body starts cracking and shifting. He ignores the vileblood, not caring that it's an extreme danger to his body. As soon as he's close enough he's grabbing Zib's arm.]

Dib? Dib! Dude, you gotta chill, that stupid alien isn't worth it!

[zib]

[At first, Zib doesn't even notice Fern coming towards him, still frantic in his attempts to break into this portal here. Still screaming, though it almost sounds like manic laughter at this point as he mumbles about tearing this stupid portal apart, and then how he'll do the same to the ones inside next...

When Zib feels his arm being grabbed, he actually snarls in a rather animalistic manner as he turns and tries to take a clawed swipe at the offending person who dares try to stop him. Even when he sees that it's Fern and not some random person that is more than likely going to get hurt here because of the vileblood covering Zib's hands and the ground, it doesn't stop him from still being angry, still screaming--]

What are you doing!? Can't you see I'm so close to getting rid of them here!? Don't get in my way!!

[He is not, in fact, close at all as the portal is still refusing to bend to Zib's rage, but he is too blinded by said rage to notice that.]

[laminae]

[Maybe it's a good thing Zib doesn't see him until it's too late, because oh boy, is that kid acting unhinged. Fern's worry spikes - if he's gotten this bad, then chances are he's only a step or two away from full blown beasthood - and so when Zib swipes at him all he does is lift his free hand. The claws catch his arm, and his grass starts burning thanks to the vileblood.

Fern ignores it. He damn well isn't going to abandon Zib right now. He refuses to let go, in fact tightening his grip.]

No you're not! All you're doing is messing yourself up! Forget about that portal, man, it isn't gonna help you!

[zib]

[Zib hisses, and tries to pull his arm back from Fern's grip, other hand coming up prepared to try to swipe at him again.]

Shut up, shut up, shut up!! You don't get it! None of you get it!

[He can't just sit here and do nothing. Do nothing but watch the Zim that ruined all of his plans get to still live another day to try to take over Earth. Do nothing but watch the version of himself who betrayed him still get to have his family and pathetic excuse for a Zim instead of a ruined life like his own.

He hates both of them so much, it's overwhelming. Blinding even, as his eyes start turning a rather unnatural shade of pinkish red, allowing his anger and rage to slip him further into becoming a monster.]

It's not fair... it's not fair not fair not fairnotfairnotfairnotfair!!

[Now he's definitely fighting harder to try to get away from Fern so that he can go back to trying to attack the portal. Not only has he started trying to hit Fern with his other hands again, but both the PAK legs and the spider textured legs that have torn through Zib's body are jerking about, flailing and attempting to strike out the more hysterical Zib gets--albeit, the movements are not as coordinated and precise due to Zib going out of his mind here.]

Why do they get to be happy, while I'm not!? After everything I did to try to make things better for myself and Earth, only for them to show up and ruin everything and they just--they just get to skip right on back to their own timeline as if nothing happened! It's not fair!!

[laminae]

[Fern doesn't let go. He absolutely refuses to let go, no matter how much Zib fights and how bad the burning gets. His own wellbeing doesn't matter right now, not when he can plainly see in how bad of a state the other boy is in, even if his reason for being that way is unhealthy.

Grass bends and extends out, further wrapping around Zib's arm to strengthen his grip. But it's getting more difficult, especially with the PAK and spider legs flailing around, and as Fern sees him getting more and more frantic he remembers a brief time back in Ooo, and another back in Deerington - more times than those two, actually, with people he cares about -

He yanks Zib closer, into a hug. It's both to stop him from thrashing, and to try and help calm him down. He isn't sure if it'll work, but physical contact always helped him when he was worked up or upset, so maybe....]

I know it's not. I'm sorry, Dib, it's - it's never fair. I get it, trust me, I get it so Globbin' much. As much as you want it to be, it never is.

Wonderkind; C (complete beast mode, insert mothra joke here)

[zib]

[At some point, the portal he had initially been trying to get into will close since they only stay open for a few hours, but Zib is in his corrupted state is not one to be deterred from his single minded obsession with trying to get what he wants here.

This is when he will slip completely into full on beast hood, with large wings bursting out of his back to join the ugly spider-like appendages from earlier, becoming a very hideous huge moth that begins rampaging. The noise he makes is a very loud buzzing screech that sounds like someone screaming (... or maybe its laughter...?) that will cause anyone to hear it to be in a severe amount of pain, if not nearly go deaf as it shatters windows close by. He doesn't seem to have much care for any buildings either as while he does try to fly around avoiding some, he will also have nothing against knocking one over if its deemed to be in the way.

And whatever is also considered to be "in the way" appears to be anything that tries to stop him from approaching any other portals he comes across, again trying to somehow tear his way into one despite the futility of doing so. He doesn't seem interested in any of the beasts and monsters that have been coming through some people's portals--in fact, he almost seems to actively encourage letting them through to our side, perhaps due to whatever part of Zib's mind sees it as a further means to figure out how to use one for himself. There's some sort of powder that falls off the wings that, when one comes in contact with, you may start feeling like you're being poisoned--not just physically, but mentally in the form of possible hallucinations if you're unlucky. No one should probably want that coming in contact with already hostile monsters that have started showing up in Trench here.

As such, Zib will definitely need to be either killed, or snapped out of beast hood with the power of friendship somehow... but uh, good luck with that, you'll need it.]

[droptheious]

[Varian knew the sun vanishing was going to be a Bad Time here. The last time it happened in Deerington was how he ended up losing his leg- thanks to a Sleeper turned monster. Now they seem to be back to this all over again. He doesn't aim to lose any limbs this time.

He can at least make a solid guess on who this monster is. There's enough familiarity in him to help him get there. He doesn't plan to leave Zib alone in this- he tried to help him and now it's time to return the favour.]

Dib? Dib you in there, Buddy?

[zib]

[Dib? Dib, where?

Because unfortunately in his fucked up state, Zib doesn't even immediately recognize the use of his actual name--the first thought that flickers through is that someone is calling out or talking to the other one, the alternate Dib on the other side of here, the one he's also been hunting down alongside Zim in the portals that he's been trying to tear apart and crawl into.

As such, the moth creature whips it's head around in a frenzy, screaming in that hysterical frequency that buzzes inside one's head like the world's most badly tuned radio. He's looking for where they might be, what portal they can be seen inside of next, before his gaze lands on Varian.

It's hard to tell if he actually recognizes Varian or not... or if it's merely annoyance that he can't find the enemy he's looking for as the creature's wings start vibrating rapidly...]

[droptheious]

[Welp. This is bad.

Varian absolutely isn't going to run if he can help it- he's not fast anyway and he doesn't want to bail on his friend when he's so clearly suffering. So for now, he's going to stand his ground and try and get through to him. At least that reaction makes him a little more certain of who this is.]

Dib. Look, Buddy, you've got to listen to me, okay? You need to come back and fight this.

[zib]

[The good news is that, for the time being, it looks like there aren't any people trying to attack Zib yet like how they were attacking Varian when he slipped into beast hood.

The bad news is that the reason why becomes quickly apparent as, when Zib turns his body to properly face Varian, a few hunters come into view. Ones that looks like they tried to get closer, only to stop as they put a hand over their mouths or clutching at their throats, coughing hard and apparently unable to get closer without breathing in more of whatever poisonous pollen is drifting off of Zib's vibrating wings there.

Not that Zib particularly cares about them. They actively tried to get in his way, so if they die, that's their own fault, not his.

Thankfully, Zib doesn't try to get close or blow back any of that powder from his wings into Varian's face, still keeping his distance for now as he stares at Varian. At least he's no longer screaming, the noise having dissolved into more of a loud hiss and whine, even if it is still irritating to one's hearing.

For a moment, Varian may be allowed to think that Zib is in fact listening, or has maybe finally recognized him, since all he does for a moment is stare... that is, until a familiar metal cable suddenly whips out from behind his head--it looks like the PAK is still there, even when Zib has become like this.

It's now zooming towards Varian, attempting to grab at him and lift him up in the air.]

[droptheious]

[He's deeply glad for that- he doesn't want to try to have to tackle fighting people as well as trying to talk his friend down from this.

He does make note of the people around him, though. He reaches into this backpack and pulls out his bandana, putting it around his face, covering his mouth and nose. It might not do much, but it's better than nothing. He's preparing to start talking again, to try and talk Zib down when he zooms towards him- it's worrying the PAK is still there. That's bad news.

He tries to swerve out of the way, knowing he definitely won't be able to keep THAT up. ]

DIB! C'mon!!! Snap out of it!!