deercountry | ( CLOSED ) MY LONELINESS IS KILLING ME.

Let me go.

( stefan puts his hands on her shoulders and gives them a squeeze before he starts to step by her so he can go inside. he clears his throat to try and get nadia's attention. )

Nadia? Hey, can you talk to me?

[ and nadia's attention he doesn't get. she sits on the edge of the bed, heels barely touching the beside and her hands in her lap. she doesn't move, not like she would before. nadia's strangely unreactive to him. ]

Maybe she can't talk.

[ katherine shrugs a shoulder, but she doesn't feel any better by it. nadia always talks. no matter what. even as a ghost who couldn't speak, she still spoke. ]

( he doesn't like the thought of that. he sits down on the bed beside her but keeps some distance between the two of them. )

She could still communicate, though.

( he looks over at nadia. )

Can you hear me? You can just nod. I just want to know that you're all right, Nadia.

[ nadia doesn't nod nor does she turn her head. she remains still, back slightly hunched.

katherine's brows furrow. ] Nadia...

[ she doesn't move even at her voice. although she feels as though her legs are rooted to the floor, she takes a step forward, moving uncertainly. ]

Nadia... It's me. Your mama. Do you remember Stefan?

[ nadia doesn't respond. ]

( something feels really, really off about this. stefan reaches over to try and touch nadia's shoulder, wondering if she was just a hallucination or something else that made her incapable of communication. )

Nadia.

( he leans in closer to try and put himself in her line of sight. )

You remember me.

[ katherine doesn't want to think it, but something is awfully wrong with nadia. she stands in front of her daughter and clasps her hands together by her hips. nadia doesn't seem as lively as she usually does. there's something about her that doesn't feel entirely real.

and at stefan's touch, nadia seems to curl in on herself. she doesn't look at him playfully or with a laugh. she almost seems to curl away like he's disrupted her.

quietly, ] I don't think you should touch her.

( when he'd touched her, she'd been cold. she was definitely real but cold and that's not right. she's never felt like that before and he swallows, getting up and standing next to katherine. )

What is she?

( because he doesn't think this is nadia. or she's a version of nadia that isn't right, that isn't real. he swallows. )

What's wrong with her?

[ even when spoken of, even when stefan moves, nadia doesn't budge. she doesn't acknowledge it. it's frightening to see how hollow and out of character that she's behaving. although katherine wants to go to her and shake her, she stands where she is and reaches for stefan's wrists.

doesn't take her eyes off of nadia. ]

This place is what's wrong with her.

[ she's come back all wrong. ]

We can't just leave her like this, Katherine. It's not her fault.

( if it's this place, then there has to be something they can do. he doesn't try and step forward again but he frowns. )

She can't just be...gone. She can't just be some kind of husk. We have to be able to do something.

[ for all of her plans and experience, katherine doesn't know what to do. but he's right, even if she's not entirely sure of what they can do. katherine balls her hands into fists and looks at nadia, hoping for her to peer up at them in a belated prank.

with no plan in mind, katherine gives into instinct. she steps away from stefan and moves to stand in front of nadia, and easily scoops her up into her arms. she doesn't feel like the heavy weight she should, but she hasn't crumbled into dust in her arms.

she turns to look at stefan and shrugs. ]

Should we take her to Luca's room?

( he doesn't know if that'll help anything but he doesn't know what else to do. nadia isn't reacting to anything in this room and he hates not having the answers. )

Maybe a change of scenery will help?

Maybe.

[ katherine's not convinced, but it's more than what they have with both of them cluelessly standing here. she continues to hold nadia, jostling her a little as if that's enough to get her moving. it isn't.

she looks at stefan and cocks her head towards the door. ] Lead the way.

( stefan looks down at nadia and nods before heading towards the door. it doesn't take long before he's opening the door to luca's room and before he steps inside, he stops and swallows. )

Don't come in here, Katherine.

( because the room wasn't empty. )

[ katherine and nadia follow stefan. she jostles nadia slightly, hoping it's enough to wake her. but she remains curled against her shoulder, a cold, weightlessness that she isn't quite sure she likes.

brows furrowing at his request, katherine comes to stand behind him. ]

Why not?

[ she thinks she knows why. she doesn't want to think it true. ]

Because.

( he doesn't even know what to say or how to say it. luca's so small there, bigger than he remembers, but still. )

The room isn't empty.

[ is that supposed to deter her?

even with a nadia who isn't quite as vibrant as nadia has come to be in her arms, katherine still doesn't find herself feeling overly uncertain by the presence of another in the room. that's good news.

she moves forward. ]

Who is it?

It's...don't worry about it, Katherine.

( yes, that's going to work. it's not but he tries to stand in front of her so she can't see this. )

Maybe you should take her back to her room. I think it might be the best thing.

[ she readjusts nadia against her hip, wanting to keep her tucked against her so she doesn't flutter away. ]

Why?

[ katherine ensures to make her voice sound firm and unchallenging. why won't he let her step in? why won't he let her see what—or who—is in the room? while she has an inkling as to who it is, she wants to hear their name and see them for herself. ]

Katherine.

( stefan turns around, still using his size to block the door a bit. )

Please. I don't want you to see this, all right? You don't deserve it.

[ although katherine's tempted to barge through and see what and who he's trying to block her from, she spares him that pain for now. with nadia in her arms, she doesn't particularly want to upset her when she seems to be so strange.

she looks at him, jaw tense. ]

Is it him?

Yeah.

( he'd only seen the side of his face, his profile but he knows that it's luca. he swallows and looks down before he glances back at katherine. )

It's him.

[ that doesn't exactly make katherine not want to enter the room. but she knows that she can't go in guns a-blazing. she needs to be smart. she needs a plan.

she only needs a plan because the trench has seemingly brought nadia back all wrong.

she purses her lips for a moment before she asks as bravely as she can: ]

Does he look wrong?

Yes.

( god, he wishes that he could say something else. he wishes he could tell her that he looks fine but it's not true. he swallows, shakes his head. )

He looks...different. I don't want you to see if you don't have to.

( but he knows that he can't keep her from luca. that's not fair. )

[ considering the number of times they've had the opportunity to see him, she doesn't particularly wish to pass this one up. luca is as foreign to her as nadia once was. she thinks that things can be better. she's lived through lifetimes of impossibilities only to find that so much of it was possible.

she readjusts nadia to her other hip and ignores the way her daughter doesn't even play with her hair. ]

I want to see him.

Katherine.

( he takes a breath and lowers his head because he knows she deserves to see him but he doesn't want her hurting because of what she sees. )

Are you sure?

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