deercountry | All that I am

Entry tags:

All that I am

Who: Allen Walker and Shouto Todoroki ~~with guest appearances by The Fourteenth...~~
What: September Paleblood effects, and getting trapped in a version of Allen's horrific world and life for a time courtesy of a cursed book/the Absolute Immersion prompt 🙂 Many CW for mentions and flashbacks of Allen's very abusive childhood. also red light districts. (to date: pet death/abuse, child abuse, suicidal impulses of a child)
When: Later September
Where: Their house, and then Victorian England sorta

[ When Shouto had become blind, it had been Allen who fret and fussed more than he needed to. Hovering by his side and always ready to take his arm and steer him gently this way or that, explaining whatever the goings-on were with an animated chatter born first from concern and then increasingly just out of enjoying conversing so later on. Describing the world and especially the people around them like someone reading a particularly good story aloud might and getting caught up in it with an actual delight.

It wasn't so bad for him after all, he'd say, since he lost first his sense of taste (that was insulting but something he dealt with just by pouting at dinnertime) and then touch. Annoyances more than anything, nothing that bad. Touch bothered him more than he thought it would, leaving him staring down at his hands with an unsettled expression from time to time when he thought no one was looking, but he tried to avoid letting that on.

When Allen lost his sense of sight, he became almost unsettlingly... quiet, actually. Not complaining even a little. But off, perpetually distracted and a little jumpy at the slightest noise or sense of movement. With it ironically around the same time Shouto finally regained his own vision. Something he expressed relief for -- it'd be rather silly and unfortunate for them to both lose their sense of sight at the same time, wouldn't it? -- but that was a little hollow too.

Whether Shouto thought to read to him or it happened by accident when Allen was half-dozing near him one day when he asked him out of bored senseless curiosity what he was reading, it was one of the few things that made him perk up. Even if he usually dozed off on him, it was comfortably and amicably so and eased a lot of his restlessness. Something he started to look forward to and ask him a little more eagerly each time what he was reading that day.

Today, he wrinkled his nose at the smell of this new book when he came back with it. Musty and old, and something that just... unsettled him on some very deep, instinctive level. Like if black magic had a smell. Easy enough to pass off at the explanation it was handed to him from someone in Gaze offering free books to passerby, everything there was a little weird and derelict, and the explanation it was a story (apparently) about an exorcist who saved souls was enough to both baffle and intrigue him. Weirdly... spot on, wasn't that? But curiosity alone was a good enough reason for him to shelve any misgivings and settle in, leaning his chin on his shoulder and peering over like he was actually trying to peek at the pages he couldn't see. Also, Shouto's monotone could put anyone at ease (and to sleep). Allen's disarmed and lulled off pretty quickly, relaxing as the tale begins and meanders vaguely around a nameless boy who loved too much. Who was thrown at odds against the home he had always known first for wanting to save those they wanted him to destroy, and then for finding out he was fated to become their enemy and the very thing that would destroy them and the world.

Allen stops dozing off and becomes very awake. Very quiet, and very still.

Shouto can get to the part where the boy says goodbye and leaves in order to keep his home safe, and that's when Allen will fumble for his hand. Grasping his wrist tightly with alarmed urgency. ]

Shouto. [ It's laced with a strange sort of fear, a rising panic. Stop reading.

It's also too late.

Reality... warps. Uncomfortably so, like vertigo but pulling your soul inside-out instead of your stomach. It feels like falling. Falling forward into freefall, which... is accurate. At first it feels like falling into a vacuum, and then the wind is quickly rushing past their ears. They burst through what feels like a thin glass pane of light that shatters harmlessly around them and melt away, geometric patterns in the sky, and the air is crisp and cold; the first kiss of winter, and for the first time smelling clean and entirely without the odor of blood, decay, and industry that clings to Trench. Into the middle of a city park, rows of brick Victorian buildings lining the sides of it with a clocktower and castle in the distance.

They're also about fifty feet up in the air, upside-down and in rapid freefall. ]

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[ He closes his eyes and thinks of Tim, not the one Allen lost but the omen he knows. The one that plays with Kizu despite her unruly nature. The one he sometimes feels an uncanny urge to pet. He thinks of that Tim, and his heart aches at the thought of his absence.

Was it hard for you? Having him in there, knowing he was gone here?

He runs a hand down his back in a comforting gesture. I'm sorry. He leans into his embrace. Welcomes the brush of skin. The heat of his breath. It's like a balm that smothers the growing ache. It reassures him as much as he tries to do the same. So much so that he almost misses what he says.

I know. I love you too.

His hand stills on his back, and he slowly draws back to look at him. His expression a delicate balance of quiet reservation mixed with a touch of softness. ]

Do you... mean that?

Edited 2022-10-03 06:31 (UTC)

[ Was it hard? No. But did it ache a little every day, even as happy as it made him?

Yes.

Truth be told, he's a touch anxious when Shouto goes quiet and pulls back. Only a little, but that's only human. Watching him for confirmation of... something, his expression stills lightly at the delicate sort of one Shouto has. Oh. Of all the responses to have, asking something like that, that's...

"He's broken too." Fragile.

For a moment he blinks, caught in realization. And his own expression is so quiet, so gentle in a strange sort of awe-- before he smiles so very lightly. Peaceably but with an absolute certainty. ]

Mm. [ He reaches up to let his fingers brush along his cheek lightly, before bringing the other boy's head down so he might press their foreheads lightly together. In a manner like children might a pinky swear, or a friend encourage another to lean on them. Honestly, isn't it obvious? He's not exactly the kind of person to ever kiss anyone if he wasn't absolutely certain of that well beforehand.

He always knows his feelings. Even and especially when he can't understand much else-- that's always the one thing he can and by his very nature has to know. And that's why he can smile right now, so gently and easily. ]

Something like that I'm sure of.

[ Even when you dump him in the bath clothes and all. ]

[ His eyes follow that hand, caught unaware, uncertain in his own way, not about the sentiment but his own. Unlike Allen, his feelings never mattered. They were always discounted, his path in life paved for him even before he was born. After living in that kind of environment for so long, he simply stopped feeling when he realized what he wanted didn't matter.

Not unless he made it matter.

What was worth fighting for? How far was he willing to go to make his feelings known? To give them voice? So far, he's only fought that uphill battle for his family. Would he forgive his father? Himself? What of his brother? His mother? How did he feel about them?

This isn't the same thing.

What he felt for Allen wasn't the same thing he felt for his family, not entirely. With his stomach turning in knots, he lets Allen pull him into his space. Their temples touch and he stares at him. This close-up, it's impossible to miss that look of wonderment in those stormy eyes. They glitter like the stars. He thinks, captivated by his confidence. ]

How... are you so sure?

Edited 2022-10-04 03:59 (UTC)

[ How is he sure...? He blinks for a moment, wondering first if that means he doubts him, but no, his expression is too gentle. His demeanor soft, so if you're asking that...

Is it... because you don't know how to be sure?

He stills lightly at that realization, but also because... how is he certain? Or anyone? For Allen he just... knows. He's had to work at being so in tune with himself that those sorts of feelings become the only concrete certainties he has. Even if some feelings might change, that's the nature of them, he's certain in the moment. Asking him how he knows any of that...

He's quiet for a long and thoughtful moment, pulling his bottom lip between his teeth as he looks gently up at him. White and red lashes; framing one eye that's such a soft and gentle grey, and the other such a striking bright teal, like it could pierce straight through you. They're beautiful, you know? Like he could look at them for hours, trying to read the subtle nuances there that rarely get to the rest of his face, and that's not the kind of thought he ever has about other men. Doesn't even really have about girls, although that's more for crushing that kind of thinking before it can go anywhere. It's still different, too.

It isn't just something like that though; that feels so shallow when compared to the depth of the rest of his feelings. And it isn't for finding purpose in it, the love that drives him in everything that he does. It is different though, isn't it? This love instead of the one he feels for akuma and humans. For beasts, for the Order he had left behind, his friends. Viktor, Sansa, Ahiru... Similar but not the same. He didn't want to continually reach out to them; no, instead he felt like he shouldn't unless it was to offer them comfort. And he stares, eyes widening slightly to realize that.

His breath catches, and he touches Shouto's cheek lightly. With a very quiet kind of reverence. ]

Because, when I look at you... I feel saved.

[ It's so simple, the difference. He feels so silly for not realizing it sooner. ]

So much so my chest might burst... Even when we're just doing something simple and the two of us. Because when you smile—when you really smile... it makes me happier than I thought was possible. And I want to do everything I can so you can keep smiling like that. So we both can, even when nothing else makes sense and the world is dark. [ And it is often so very dark. And yet... like always having a light at his side now too.

His throat threatens to close, and he repeats the motion at his cheek. Carding his fingers through some of Shouto's hair as he brushes it back. ]

...Someone told me once, that when you find something to love... your path will open up before you. And then, even in a world that seems horrible you can still find beauty.

[ Ironclad certainty, said so very gently. Something he's believed for such a long time but took so long to truly understand. ]

I think it's something like that.

Edited 2022-10-04 06:52 (UTC)

[ How do you know?

With his friends and family, he knew he wanted to be near them. Felt his heart grow whole when he was around them. He thought it was the same with Allen. A friend. One he liked being near. Who's opinion mattered to him and who he wanted to protect. They fought together just like he did with his classmates, shared meals and sometimes baths, but he did that with his friends too.

What makes you different?

Allen kissing him unmade their relationship as he saw it and reshaped it into something new. Something he hasn't figured out yet. He knows what he feels for him is different than what he feels for his friends. The intensity of his quirk cannot be denied. The way it swings from left to right at a touch or a word. His friends never made him feel that intensity. He didn't think he could feel that. Not unless he was fighting for something he wanted desperately. For someone.

But with no enemy to face down, that built-up passion had no outlet. Kissing him back was only natural. Holding him. Being near him. Yet, all of those things combined wasn't always enough to calm the churning storm that built up inside him. So, he tried to rein it in before it gathered momentum and turned into a tempest that made him lose control. He worked so hard to control his fire as well as ice, he didn't think someone could take that away so easily or how much he wanted to follow through, but he knows that path leads to nothing good. He doesn't want to hurt ALlen, and it's that fear that's the root of his hesitation.

So it comes as a one-hit knockout when Allen explains all that he feels and how much it correlates to the feelings he's been struggling with these last two months and he stares in wonderment. ]

That's... how I feel too.

Not when you smile but when you laugh.

[ He touches the corner of his mouth with his fingertips while Allen cards his fingers through his hair. His eyes stay focused there, recalling the past instances when he's heard him laugh and how it made him feel. The way it caught his attention so completely, he forgot everything else. ]

It... feels like home.

You.

[ His eyes rise from his mouth to lock onto his eyes with the same intensity brewing inside him. ]

You feel like home.

Edited 2022-10-07 02:11 (UTC)

[ You feel like home.

If there is any one-hit knockout for Allen, it's that. The most important thing in the world to him—it's that, "home". So his eyes widen for a moment as his throat threatens to close, the light brush of fingers at the corner of his mouth making his skin tingle in a way that has his stomach knotting itself. Too much. Being held so gently even if it's awkward because the tub wasn't meant for that and normally it would probably be uncomfortable but he doesn't find it so, just like he's also forgotten the state of his own undress--it's too much. His eyes well with unshed tears and he blinks rapidly, though they hold and glitter with pent up emotion.

I want to kiss you, that's the answer I have to that. I want to kiss you and not stop and tell you you are home-- And unconsciously he twitches forward slightly like he might. But... ]

...before-- [ His voice is gentle but cracks before he can continue. So he stops and swallows for a minute, eyes unwaveringly to Shouto's, and let his fingertips rest lightly along his jaw. ] When you said you felt uneasy...

[ Around him. Feeling uneasy around him after he kissed you. The way his fire and ice, but usually his fire would swing and spike so much sometimes when he touched him... He thought it was just because he was startled or unused to it, like Allen is unused to being touched really at all. And so he had been more ginger and restrained than he even otherwise might be, more self-conscious about that sort of thing unless he had a point he was trying to get across or drowned in feeling himself, but... ]

...what did you mean by that?

[ Knee deep in water, the water-logged clothes cling to him, chaffing against his skin. It doesn't bother him. Not the smelly clothes, dirty water, or dusty room. Not when he's with Allen like this, watching him break down like he's seen few times. That's all that matters. All he notices. The rest is relegated to the background, out of sight, out of mind, so the only thing he sees is him.

It's alright to cry.

He cups his face between his hands and leans forward to press their temples together in a similar fashion Allen did with him. This close, their breaths mingle, and he can feel the heat of him more prominently when he speaks. It's a question that's long overdue, interrupted by the little people of his world. In this place, where it's only the two of them, Shouto gives it the answer it deserves. ]

You make me lose control of my quirk.

That makes me uneasy.

Edited 2022-10-07 04:39 (UTC)

[ Oh. He blinks, caught up in the intensity of his mismatched eyes up this close. It's because you don't want to hurt him too, isn't that. Losing control like that, if it's tied to your emotions...

He blinks, forgetting to breathe for a moment and coloring lightly at the realization. But he presses his lips together, eyes becoming clear and bright with certainty and unshed tears both before he leans up, pressing his forehead in return to Shouto's as he brings a hand up to rest over one of his. Letting his eyes close as the tears fall finally, with something akin to such an overwhelmed relief.

It's because you feel that strongly, isn't it. What you feel for him... ]

I still trust you anyway. [ He breathes it out very gently, and shifts then. Rising up slightly to wind his arms around Shouto's shoulders while keeping their foreheads pressed lightly together. ]

How could I not when you feel like "home" too?

[ He nuzzles his nose very gently, very slowly and purposefully but with conscious restraint. So close their lips almost brush, and his eyes hood lightly. He's quiet for a long moment, arms around his neck tightening lightly, and draws in his lower lip as his expression softens. ]

When you channel it to use it, or... if you're trying to listen to it... [ He hesitates lightly, trying to understand it within the scope of how he understands his own Innocence. ] ...how do you do that?

Edited 2022-10-07 09:47 (UTC)

[ Grey and teal widen in an instant. This close to him the difference is startling. He sucks in a breath and his entire body comes to a standstill. His lungs expand to hold that breath, forgetting to contract and expel it.

... you feel like home...

The confession causes a snowball effect that turns his cheeks hot from a very real temperature spike that turns the bath into a hot spring in less than a minute. His quirk swings right and Shouto is left on the sidelines, unaware of the chaos churning inside him. It's no real surprise that when he finally releases that heated breath in a stunned 'o' he's caught exactly none of what Allen said after the fact. ]

Edited 2022-10-07 21:07 (UTC)

[ He spent a lifetime wanting a home, creating spaces that would lend that kind of comfort... to hear someone-- anyone... think that of him? Who ruined his family's comfort just by being born. Who was the cause of all their suffering...

It creates a runaway reaction inside of him. He can feel it coming. Built-up emotions that have never seen the dawn of day feel like steam searching for an escape. Before the water turns scalding and starts to boil, Shouto dumps Allen over the side of the tub while the water rumbles inside. Shouto sits in the center of the boiling mass, clutching at his chest, trying desperately to cool himself off, while his eyes glitter with emotions too vast to contain.

You make me... lose control. ]

Edited 2022-10-07 20:00 (UTC)

[ Needless to say, Allen also cuts himself off when Shouyo's eyes snap so wide so suddenly with a sharp breath, the words dying on his lips before he can even get them out. But that isn't... it isn't surprising to you that he feels that way too, is it? When Shouto was the one who first brought him home with him, whose very offer of that while he was recovering, said with such a rare and wonderful smile... Did you really not suspect he felt that way too? After everything he just said?

But he's swept up before he can say anything or do anything more than reach in concern at feeling the water suddenly heat up, and dumped unceremoniously over the side. ]

Wah—! [ Ow. The floor is hard and cold...

—but the tub is like a radiator with the waves of heat coming off it, and Allen scrambles back up to his knees immediately with an internal swear. He wanted to help him but just made him lose control again... ]

Shouto! [ It's alarmed, and he reaches out despite the bubbling water and waves of heat without a second thought. Left hand, the one that can't be hurt by that, although that doesn't mean everything doesn't still feel uncomfortably hot. To card his plated fingers gently through his hair, because that had seemed to help him last time. ]

It's okay! It's okay... What— [ Are you... are those-- tears? His mind scrambles, trying to kick into gear and latch onto the problem. This isn't about what's wrong, but... Clutching at his chest so tightly, folded in, like he's trying to suppress it-- ]

...talk to me. [ It's softer and he hovers, anxious, as closely as he can without burning himself on the ceramic. Keeps running his fingers soothingly through his hair. ]

What are you feeling?

[ A combination of thawing ice melting in the sunlight uncovering what was buried and forgotten. He sits so very still in the scalding water rippling with boiling bubbles hot enough to undo the molecular bonds of the cheap dye on the clothes Allen won for him. It bleeds into the water. Black and brown with tinges of yellow, while the fires burn hot with a tainted sort of happiness.

With his eyes squeezed shut, he tries to find his center. His ragged breathing slows as he clutches onto his chest, the feeling there magnified tenfold. It's not until he feels something rough in his hair that he pulls his thoughts back to his surroundings. He's not surprised Allen didn't stay away. He never did in the past. Why would he know? But he hoped...

Talk to me.

Yet, it's easier for him to focus on something real. That steadfast voice calms some of the noise filling his head. It helps steady his breathing. The torrid waters full of turmoil slowly calm down too. The boiling stops. A steady steam still rises in the air, scalding but coming down.

What are you feeling?

Too much. ]

I don't know.

[ He whispers, one hand pressed against his chest hard enough to leave an imprint of his fist, while the other clutches onto his thigh, bunching up the fabric there, making it bleed into the darkened waters. ]

Edited 2022-10-07 21:51 (UTC)

[ This soon after asking Allen how he could be so sure of his own feelings, that answer gives him pause as his expression smooths in some surprised realization. Is that... it? It overwhelms you because you don't understand it?

He blinks and hesitates, but shakes his head slightly before just brushing some of the hair tenderly from his face. This is pushing the limits of the inhuman makeup of his left arm in just how uncomfortable he can be with it without it technically being pain, and even further back his shoulder and face feel akin to sunburnt from the steam rolling off the water-- but he doesn't mind. Uncomfortable is okay. The discomfort doesn't matter right now. ]

It's alright. [ He says it more softly, heavier with sympathy as he lets his hand drop. Covering up the hand Shouto's pressed to his chest lightly, very tentatively, before squeezing gently. It's okay, focus on him if it helps. ]

We can wait until you do.

[ It takes some time, a few minutes of focusing on that calm before the steam recedes and the temperature of the bath falls to tolerable levels. Through it all, Shouto remains at the center, too afraid to reach out until he can form ice. It creeps up his neck and fingertips before he stops it and finds himself in control again. He doesn't remove the ice, lets it melt on its own as he hangs his head, staring at the calm waters. ]

I threw you out of bath...

Maybe I'm the one possessed.

[ It feels like it. ]

[ Oh...

With the bath cooled enough, he leans forward and throws his arms around Shouto at that. Pulling him into a tight hug, he buries his face against the side of his without a care for any of the ice that's crept over his skin. ]

It's alright. [ He'll be here to help you figure it out, okay? ]

It's because your feelings are too much for your body sometimes, isn't it? [ The violent temperature swings. The one time he fidgeted with his fingers, and that clicked that maybe it's like when Allen feels fidgety with excess emotion. "I don't know." You just didn't learn how to deal with that, did you? Someone who seems so muted most of the time.

He nuzzles his face lightly against him, tucking his nose against his collar as he cradles his head gently, fingers threading through hair. ]

That's not strange. That's human.

Edited 2022-10-08 10:58 (UTC)

[ He's stiff under his guard. Cold too, where the ice crept over his skin while the rest of him remains at a neutral temperature where there was a roiling heat before. It's a lie. He can still feel the churning lava melting inside him. Cooled down by an equal amount of ice. It's a balancing act, one that only comes up in the heat of battle when he actively needs his ice to cool his left side and vice versa. A perfect countermeasure built into his genetics.

The fact that his quirk is so fundamentally tied to his emotions was never an issue before. That didn't mean he didn't feel anything. He felt a lot. That's why he used his ice to numb those feelings when they got overwhelming. He stopped doing that after their encounter with the nightmare demon. After that encounter, he thought it was the best way to move forward, but he's only moved back since then. ]

This isn't normal for me.

[ It's not a complaint or self-reprimand, but fact. An understanding that something-- Not something. I need to change. ]

I don't know how to fix it.

[ Go back to the ice? Or find another way?

He leans against Allen, finding comfort in the gentle encouragement as the clash of ice and fire recedes at its own pace inside him. ]

Edited 2022-10-08 23:08 (UTC)

[ He's quiet for a moment at that admission, simply holding him for a moment to offer what comfort he can. "Fix it"... it isn't that though, is it? Feelings aren't something you can fix. So he just presses the side of his face against him and holds him close for now even with the tub still in the way, eyes hooding thoughtfully.

"I don't know..." ]

Innocence responds to the heart too. It takes what we feel and channels it into power. If we feel chaotic... then it becomes chaotic. Unstable, hard to control. [ Their feelings and desires have to be in sync. It isn't even about understanding yourself, but being able to do so so well that you can communicate it to another being and connect with them through it in perfect harmony. That's the "critical point breaker". Strength.

He's speaking very softly, continuing to idly brush some of the wet strand of hair back where they clump; serene and gentle in his manner. It isn't the same, but isn't it? Understanding what it means to be human. ]

Shouldn't you start by trying to understand what's in your heart?

Edited 2022-10-09 07:07 (UTC)

[ Being held so tenderly, like he hasn't felt in over a decade. The sound of a voice he dreams about. These are the things that settle the turmoil twisting inside of him. That he clung to as a child, that he clings to now. Less evident in the subtle way he leans against his cheek and breathes in the warm breath of someone dear to him.

This time there's no swing of the pendulum in the knowing. No overwhelming feeling that wrenches free his control. This time, there's only the feeling of home. The place he wants to be. And it's in this knowing that his quirk - active still with Allen so close - finds equilibrium.

He leans over the tub to meet him halfway and speaks near his ear, finding comfort in the cuff that once belonged to him. ]

When I lost control... I was thinking of you. How much I... liked that you--that I didn't make you uneasy.

[ There's a silence after that. A moment taken to figure out his words. ]

Like I did with my mom.

[ A surge of something good tainted by the past. ]

[ He seems to be finding his anchor, slowly, and Allen holds him a little tighter for a moment in a reassuring squeeze, cheek to cheek. Half for himself as much as anything maybe because of that admission, a little overwhelmed himself that the thing that tipped him over the edge was the realization how much he liked the idea of someone finding peace in his presence like that. It doesn't take a genius to realize that's because it isn't something he's used to-- or even thought was possible.

Especially not when that's something that he, of all people, gets.

Why else is the concept of "home" one that always floors Allen more than any other, after all? Razes him to the point where you could knock him over with a feather. It's precious because it's something so rare, something that was so far out of reach, that he put it on a pedestal.

He stills lightly at that though, eyes flickering towards him even if he can't see with how close they are. Like he did with her? You... think you made her uneasy? ]

Your mother? [ He hesitates. Landmines, but... That's so surprising, with how you've always spoken of her. How her voice was such a gentle and calm guiding presence in the nightmare.

This is why, too, isn't it?

His fingers brush lightly along the shorter hairs at the back of his neck, softly thoughtful before he lets his palm rest lightly there. ]

Why do you think you made her uneasy...?

It's not something I think.

[ Said in a quiet tone of resignation, letting the silence linger while he runs his hand down the scar that cut through half of him. ]

You're going to get cold. [ He tugs gently at his left shoulder. ] Come back in.

[ Don't you think that might be part of the problem...? Still, he isn't one to push, especially on something like that, and does shiver lightly when he traces the outline of that scar. Not for being cold though, and his expression softens at the request. ]

Alright. [ He starts to get up, giving him a final light hug in the process, and is about to ask him to scoot down a little-- ]

[ --when his gaze drops to the distinctly dark water where most of the dyes from Shouto's clothes have leeched into it. Oh. ]

...in a moment. [ He's. Going to lean over and pull the drain so all of that can go elsewhere before turning on some clean water. Yeah. ]

[ Good call.

While the water swirls down the drain, he scoots to the other side of the tub to give Allen space. As the water drains Shouto strips out of his clothes, dropping each soggy piece next to the bath with an audible thunk without looking. Busy with his task, it's only when he's rid himself of every item that he plugs up the drain and lets the clean water rise to clean them up. ]

[ Allen looks, watching them fall with each thunk, but by this point has just resigned himself to needing to clean tomorrow before doing much of anything else. It's fine, he doesn't want to think about it tonight with everything that's happened. It's unimportant.

He's a little hesitant before he climbs back in though, lingering for a moment a somewhat shyly before sliding a toe back in to the rising water. A little unsure what to do with his legs at first, if he should sit bunched up or let them stretch out to either side. He opts for staying bunched up for now, expression muted and quiet, thoughtful, before he reaches out to touch Shouto's back gently. ]

Can I wash your hair?

[ He brings up his legs to give Allen room when he joins him inside and settles his back flat against the long side of the tub to give Allen room on his side. The result leaves him staring at the wall with his knees drawn up, spread wide above the water line, so when he touches his shoulder, Shouto turns his chin parallel to his shoulder to look at him. The question doesn't quite catch him off guard, but it does make him question its origin. ]

Does it smell?

[ Is that why he's offering his help? ]

.... i needed a new icon... i hope you realize this.

good, my work here is done :D

you are making him question so many things...

as he does :)

<3

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